Psyke.org

Ken

Not Now — Not Ever

Copyright, Ken

Not Now — Not Ever
But it’s there.
It’s calling — my pain screaming to be released.
Friends who forget,
Strangers who couldn’t care less.
Less friends — more strangers.
Strangers who wouldn’t care before.
Wouldn’t think twice after the funeral.

Not Now — Not Ever
Please just a little?
Life running down my arm.
Stronger than my fear.
Better?

Not Now — Not Ever
But why the hell not?
As my skin parts,
And my blood spiders to the floor,
I AM HAPPY!

Or at least secure.
Safe.
Nothing can touch me in my painful ecstasy.
Might my pain push me too far?
An eternal shadow cast over my soul?
Could it possibly be worse than the fight?
They all say so, but not for love.

For fear of their own thoughts.
For fear of their own lives.
Out of ignorant, inane, indefensible stupidity.
Else there would be no words.
Only touch.
Love.

Not Now — Not Ever
But it’s been so long
So lonely
Without my warm red friend

Not Now — Not Ever
Why do I even fight?
For love.
Not theirs but mine.
I can never stop loving.
I will never stop loving.

Not Now — Not Ever
Just a small one?
NO!
YES!

maybe…

Not Now — Not Ever
Forever…

 

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