Psyke.org

Katya

Untitled

Copyright, Katya

blade to skin.
ripping, tearing.
saftey pins.
longsleeves for wearing.

tears and sin
can’t hold back.
i can’t win.
cuts from a tack.

white and pink.
my menacing pain.
red in the sink.
bandaids and stains.

decleration of peace.
suicide note read.
life for lease.

and now i’m dead.

Untitled

Copyright, Katya

god im such a loser.
an embarrasment to life.
im sorry for all the pain i cause,
sorry for all the strife.

i can only live so long.
and i fear my time is up.
look into my eyes,
you can see im not that tough.

i cant learn to love myself,
and i dont think i ever will.
whenever somethings wrong,
i just swallow a few pills.

god im such a loser,
im nobody’s friend.
and im everybodys problem.
so please,
just let it end.

Untitled

Copyright, Katya

its killing me.
this secret that i mourn.
i cant hide the scars forever,
of skin long ago torn.

at night i cant sleep,
so i cut myself instead.
i cry very quietly,
curled up inside my head.

sometimes it seems,
like deaths the only way.
im not a morbid person,
but its getting harder every day.

my friends really do care,
but they’re way way too late.
they say they understand,
but how can they relate?

do they scratch themselves until they bleed,
or cut with a knife?
do they constantly have cravings,
to quickly end their life?

do they feel loved at home,
or anywhere at all?
do they sit by the phone,
waiting for someone to call?

someone come help me out
of this hell hole i call life
my everything will always meet
at the end of a dull knife.

Untitled

Copyright, Katya

these damn tears get annoying,
clouding up my vision.
how am i supposed to see the blood,
that runs from my incision?

i let my arm fall to the ground,
blood drips on the floor.
it stains my carpet bright clean red,
i cant do this anymore.

but to fight the cravings,
is something i just cant do,
“it’ll all be over very soon”
i hear my concience coo.

i really do hope so,
for this pain i cannot bear.
i might as well dig my grave,
im not going anywhere.

i guess all i can do is wait,
though i do not know what for,
all i know is that next time,
i may die upon this floor.

Untitled

Copyright, Katya

i am “that girl” you dont see in the hall

i am a cutter, banging my head against the wall.

i am your daughter, not believing what you say

i am a loser, always making myself pay.

i am a freak, screaming silently.

i am depressed, cutting myself voilently.

i am a pessimist, baracading myself inside.

i am bruised, forcing fist and flesh to collide.

i am your daughter, crying after you leave.

i am “that bitch”, that you just cant believe.

i am sobbing, praying to be dead.

i am so alone, hoping for a friend.

 

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