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Dark Bleeder

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Copyright, Dark Bleeder

I’m fourteen years old, and I have been cutting since I was twelve. I can not remember the first time I cut myself but I know that it was not long after my dad passed away, and I was left with my step dad (my real dad killed him self, drug OD)and I also stopped eating as much as I used to which I think and have been told was normal. A few months down the track I started going out with the most amazing guy he was so sweet, and I loved him so much. On August the 21st he told me that he had sex with another girl. I was so deeply crushed that I cut myself (the first cut) then I tried to kill myself. I died, but only for a minute or so. My ex saved me and his mum helped me and promised that she would not call the ambulance (she was a doctor). After that I started ignoring my friends, I felt different and also became bulimic. Later that year I started going back out with Matt (the ex that crushed my heart). The next year, 2004, my step dad strangled me and I fell to the floor because I could not breathe but I was hoping he would kill me. My cutting got even more out of control this year, and started cutting my wrists (I cut on my arms, I cut with glass) I also started collecting blades, pocket knifes and knifes and cut with them. There is a lot that has happened to me, such as: A friend trying to kill himself, my boy trying to kill himself, I was raped, sexually harassed (two times) and lots more. I have tried to stop cutting but that only lasted a month. I stopped making myself sick and used laxatives instead (my bestie got me on them). I broke up with Matt, I made a new best friend though. She was so amazing, understood me and everything (she had the same problems as me, she got me on laxatives) and when my step dad beat me up for the God knows what time she let me stay with her. I went home after a week and if I didn’t go home I had to go to a foster home. A few months ago (from now) me and bestie had a fight (she said that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore). And she felt so bad that she stood in front of a car (she did not get hit, thank God) and the CAMHS (were I also go) sent her to the mental institution part of the Monash Hospital. She is now getting shocks, and I cut like crazy now and still don’t eat very much, but I’m off the laxatives. If you have any questions or just want someone to understand, you can e-mail me at Sexy_Bitch16@hotmail.com.

 

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