Psyke.org

Tiffany

Slit

Copyright, Tiffany

An unbareable action,
You’d never think i’d make,
Happened again today…

With a slit of my wrist,
And a blade in my hand,
All of my pain dripped away,
Just like the blood on my arm that dripped away.

My flesh inflected with cuts and scars,
That I so quickly enjoy then regret,
Will soon remind me of my everyday pain.
A simple slit to my wrist clears my thoughts,
Helping me cope with the madness I have to face.

The scaring of my pain I soon began to hate,
For it seemed like a simple solution at the time.

From a distance I might seem fine,
But up colse…
I’m dying!

Nobody Listens

Copyright, Tiffany

The blade of depression cuts,
The blood of self-hate bleeds.
The arm of the innocent is scarred
The eyes of the innocent cry
but nobody reads the signs…
Nobody listens.

Who I Am

Copyright, Tiffany

You can’t fade the scars,
But you can make them.
You can stop,
But you don’t want to.
This is what I tell myself,
This is who I am.
A cutter.

Untitled

Copyright, Tiffany

Tears of blood
Crimson night
Razor sharp
Disturbing sight
Wounds burning
Stomach turning
Neverending madness
Mindless yearning
Stained flesh
Beginning to tear
Bloody artwork
Constructed with care
Dreams fade
Into the shade
Of the darkness
I have made
Guide my soul
To its death
Feel the warmth
Of evil’s breath
Upon my soul
Gaping hole
Now my heart
Is black as coal
Jagged edge
Cruel and fierce
Razor blades
Scar and pierce
My tender skin
Wet with sin
Strip me bare
To the bone within
No time to think
Make you decision
Take the knife
Make the incision
Cut the vein
Release the pain
Feel the sting
Of acidic rain
Bloody red river
Watch it flow
Down your arm
Nice and slow
Nothing will justify
My reasons why
Caught red handed
By the naked eye
Long-sleeve shirts
Will not hide
The horror and fear
That lives inside
I make a pact
With Ritalin and Prozac
To become the world’s
New circus act
My dirty deed
I put on display
To better understand
My pathetic ways
Of living life
Of dealing with strife
The way I choose
To use this knife
Because instead of using paper
I use my own skin
To express the anger
I hold deep within

Liar

Copyright, Tiffany

I know you do it
maybe not quite like me
but I know you harm your self intentionally.

The alcohol
the drugs
the yells and screams
are all the same as my self inflicted injuries

Your scars my be internal
and they can not be seen
but the pain you feel deep inside
is the same and is felt by me.

Life is hard on you
and you can not cope
the same with me
we both have no hope.

Why can’t the battle wounds of living life be seen?
Is it because we like living in our own fictional dreams?
Our fictional fantasies that depict the perfect life
the fictional fantasies that cause us all the strife.

We are liars
not just to the world but to ourselves
we’ve adopted the fantasies and can’t discern our fairy tales
Stuck between our dreams and the reality of life,
we remain liars and fall victim to our knife.

Secluded Vacation

Copyright Tiffany

Alone on an island,
only me and myself,
Alone on this island,
With me and no one else.

No conflicts,
No words,
Only unspoken thoughts to be heard,
by me and myself and nobody else.

The controlled silence,
The presence of no one,
The knowing that I have complete control over what is going on.

Nothing is hidden,
I let it all hang loose,
being here by myself is my death,
it is my killer
it is my noose.

Too many thoughts,
evil thoughts in my head,
Too much freedom on this island,
still nothing has been said.

No one to love you
No one to care
No one to be concerned
No one to even notice you there.

All alone on this island,
this island inside my head,
Alone and I want some company,
I want something to be said.

I wanna be free
I wanna be able to roam
I wanna get out of my head
I wanna be let go.

Destructive Carousel

Copyright Tiffany

Disoriented,
Clueless,
To everything around
Not hearing,
Or listening to a single foreign sound.
Round and round on the carousel,
The troubled carousel of life,
Sitting all alone,
Dealing with all your troubles and inner strife.

With her ride underway,
She quietly begins
To thinks about her life and all the things that made her sad,
Focusing on the inner needs that she once long ago had.

Spinning in circles,
Head dizzy from the ride,
Not knowing what is left to come,
Not having anyone in whom she could confide.

Cutting and purging to release the pain inside,
Smoking and drinking to find a way to hide.
Not caring what the world thought or had to say
She secretly cut and drank her life away
Not knowing how to stop and to get herself off of this destructive ride
She finally gets the courage and takes her first attempt at suicide

Spinning round and round,
Dizzy,
Lost in her confusion,
Blood spreads everywhere,
As she falls deeply into her fatal illusion.

Drifting away,
Drifting far away from life,
Letting go of the pain and all of her worldly strife.

Darkness comes,
And slowly takes her away,
Her mind is gone but her body is left to stay.

That is her end,
Sick from her long and tragic cycle ride,
She finally decided to get off,
She could no longer sit content and abide.

 

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