Tami
Why
Copyright Tami
why?
this is how you make me feel
you make me want to cut all the time your killing me.
I hurt you once and now you are doin all you can to hurt me back.
I’m sorry
I’m sorry I’m so fucked up and wrong
if you hate me I understand and it’s ok i’ll just live
live as if all that I had is no more
alone and i might as well be dead.
why?
why don t you listen?
listen to what i have to say…
well don’t worry i’ll be gone soon and then you will be the one left to ask
why…
Untitled
Copyright Tami
i told you that i was depressed.
you didn’t care
you said you cared but didn’t understand
i cut
it hurt
just like it’s meant to.
just go get rid of all the pain that you put me thought.
the emotional shit you pass on to me.
this world so fucked up just like my head
but soon my world will come to an end
youll undertsnad when i die
i’m gonna say goodbye cuz tomorrow ill be
DEAD!
Untitled
Copyright Tami
you don’t really care
you wanted things to end up this way.
you wanted me to become fucked up and emotional
all the things you had felt
passed on to me once again
that’s how you see me
FUCKED UP!
why is it this way?
i was just a little child and
you had to put me thought all this pain.
now i ask why?
what did i do so bad at that age.
i’m still a child and i need to be held.
Untitled
Copyright Tami
do you ever have the feeling
that life is catching up on you?
i do and i also know that when its gonna take me i wont mind
as what i know and have seen of the world
is pretty shit!
and maybe if i might something realy to focus on
like smoking or self harm then i will be able
to feel what was once real again!
Untitled
Copyright Tami
this is this girl and i hate her.
why?
she has just fucked up everything for me.
how?
shes done everything that i dont want her to do and i hate her.
i hate her.
why?
now she is just talkin things that ive been tring to hide.
im now tring to fuck up her life.
like she done to me.
Untitled
Copyright Tami
Teddy, I ve been bad again, my mommy told me so
I’m not quite sure what I did wrong, but I thought that you should know
When I woke up this morning, I knew that she was mad
‘Cause she was crying awful hard, and yelling at my dad
I tried my best to be real good, and do just what she said
I cleaned my room all by myself, I even made my bed
But I spilled milk on my good shirt, when she yelled at me to hurry
And I guess she didn t hear me, when I told her I was sorry.
‘Cause she hit me awful hard, you see, and called me funny names
and told me I was really bad, and that I should be ashamed!
When I said “I love you mommy”, I guess she didn t understand
‘Cause she yelled at me to shut my mouth, or I d get smacked again.
Emotions
Copyright Tami
why do i hurt so badly
i want to cry so sadly
Please beat me down to bring me up
i feel used yet abused.
i mistrust all, it may be my great fall
for now i am gone, under the knife
no more i wonder about death for he is knocking at my door.
My god there is so much blood on the floor.
i feel like it’s so hard to say how i feel even to this day
The cold edge cutting ever so slow my heart beating
from my head to my toes.
Look now it’s done theres blood on the floor, life is such a chore,
why did i have to become hells horror.
Now all i have is scars, there as many as the stars
i tried to die even in my car but all i have now is deep emotional scars.
Sanity
Copyright Tami
Cut a little harder
You haven’t felt enough pain
Carve a little deeper
You’re really not insane
Untitled
Copyright Tami
Look into her eyes, you’ll see her tears
The pain she’s been feeling, for so many years
You’ll know how she feels, she’s screaming inside
You’ll see all the secrets, she’s had to hide
Look at her heart, it’s been broken in two
She can never go back, to the world she once knew
Its left in pieces, they lie on the floor
She knows life won’t be, the same anymore
Alone
Copyright Tami
I feel so alone like a single red rose,
So alone like a story that’s never been told
I feel so alone like a sparrow in the sky
Like a bird who can not fly
In this world I am alone.
Untitled
Copyright Tami
Alone in the dark
Won’t miss my mark
Tormenting my mind
Wasn’t this a wonderful find
Panic is building
Never yielding
Calling my name
There is no shame
Release Me Release Me
Release me
I hear it cry
Won’t stop until I try
Slice one, slice two, three, four
It may take many more
What does it matter
I only grow sadder
Relief sets in I can breathe again!
Untitled
Copyright Tami
The never ending loneliness
Of someone left behind
The blood drips on the carpet
That was once clean in her mind
Now it’s torn to shreds
Like her fragile memory
No one comes to help her
In her silent reverie
Night after night she sits alone
Staring at the stars
Wondering why no one can hear her pain
But everyone sees her scars
Too Far
Copyright Tami
I guess you assume I haven’t
Been through enough.
Each attempt that I make
Seems to be bluffed.
I hate you for doing this
For making me fail.
Because now I sink lower
To the end of my trail.
The hunger for Death
No more need for my Life
Really, who’d miss me?
I’ve just lived in your strife.
Now be happy I’m doing this
I’ll tell you I am.
I’ll join all the sinners
Who have just lived a scam.
When you find my body
Shot dead in the car,
Remember I told you:
Never push me too far.
R.I.P. Anna-Marie
Copyright Tami
If God came down from heaven
And offered me to choose
The greatest gift of all
I would only ask for you
I only got to hold you once
Before God called you home
But it only took the once
For you to steal my heart
To touch your tiny fingers
And rub your tiny toes
To see your cute little smile
And touch your tender nose
Nothing could be more precious
Than the thoughts I have of you
To me you were special
God must of thought so too.
One Day
Copyright Tami
Slip beneath without a trace
Maybe they wont notice, when I leave this place
Fall inside to see
There is nothing inside of me
I can not seem to break this trend
I ask myself will this ever end
I Just keep it bottled up inside
Sooner or later I’ll break down an cry
Let the darkness fill the room
I cant get out of it, I cant resume
Just gotta tell myself it will be ok
Maybe it will be better when I leave this earth, ONE DAY
Untitled
Copyright Tami
“I hate you”, do you really mean what you say
They are very strong words, you may regret one day
You need to think about what you said
Just because it was time for bed
“I hate you”, well that’s really rich
Am I really such an old witch
It’s not always easy being a mum
Trying to do what’s best for her son
When you are all grown up and maybe a dad
And maybe your children will drive you mad
When you tell them, that it is time for bed
Maybe they will shout at you instead
Battle Scars
Copyright Tami
A battle that died down
Has once again arose
The choice of weapon picked
This void never really closed
This isn’t a regular battle
Its one that lives inside
Where all I’ve come to known
Is hurt and tears and lies
The weapon is in hand
As it touches battle ground
Everything is perfect
Not even a whimpering sound
Staring into the mirror
At someone who is so lost
Crimson lines and drops
Are this battle’s cost
My Life
Copyright Tami
I sit and think and wonder why
I have to live instead of die.
The world seems dark, hopeless, a curse
And everyday the cuts get worse.
With every ache and pain I hide
The endless nightmare will not subside.
I treasure nothing but a blade
Hoping one day the tears will fade.
It takes so much just to smile
When thinking of carving all the while.
The hallway down the path of life.
Causes nothing but madness and strife.
My Suicide
Copyright Tami
No one can save me
I am out of range
You can’t erase memories
And people tend to change
I am all alone now
No longer strong, I am weak
So before I end my life
I’d like a chance to speak
I’d like to say I’m sorry
I’m going to try to explain
I’m sorry for all the things I did
And I’m sorry I caused so much pain
I didn’t mean to end it like this
But there’s only so much I could take
I wasn’t happy with myself
I made to many mistakes
I didn’t like my life
I didn’t have any control
I didn’t like me so,
I cut my body to kill my soul
Phoenix
Copyright Tami
This was my life. I took it with a knife. I cut so deeply, hopeless…
It seems tragic but it works like magic. My blood pours I cut my wrists the blood flows through my fists.
It pours out drip, drip, drip
It spills on the floor. i wish to die on this truth I cannot lie.
Even though I want to die don’t take it like I lie. It seems like the best choice this pain & suffering I can no longer take I am going down down like the snake.
My heart begins to beat slow for my blood has been lost from my soul.
My lips are blue.
I have to run from view.
Please just let me be I don’t have anything anymore my soul just wants to soar. Why does life seem like such a chore?
Art Work.
Copyright Tami
It’s an art form
and beautiful,
or so you claim.
You wield blade as brush,
fill flesh canvas
with finely drawn
crimson lines, ritually
purge anger through pain.
I can’t help but remember
the unblemished perfection
of the child you were
and wonder
if all your scars
are so easily seen.
I Slit
Copyright Tami
i sit in dark, i’m all alone
i feel the cold surround me.
thoughts fill my mind, unforgotten sorrows,
why wont they just let me be?
i see it glimmer, i see it shine
my old friend razor in my hand.
if only i could control myself…
all common sense falls through like sand.
i feel it peirce, i feel it sting
and my eyes begin to tear.
now i feel no pain, i’m almost numb
i’ve gotta get out of here.
I Look
Copyright Tami
i look in the mirror
what do i see
an image a nightmare
this cant be me
i look in the mirror
and turn side to side
what i see makes
me want to hide
i look in the mirror
tears roll dwn my cheek
i look in the mirror
and see a freak
i look in the mirror
and see all my scars
i feel so different
different by far
i look in the mirror
look deep in my eyes
is that where i am
is that where i hide.
Why, Just Why?
Copyright Tami
you cut yourself…
I do too… not on my skin
I do it on my soul…
No self respect…
No love for myself…
Sometimes I hate to exist..
And I am not a teenager any longer
as the young girl that was me doesn’t exist
All this is wrong…
and a great waste of time and energy…
the answer is never outside…
just inside ourselves…
and in the amount of love we have for ourselves…
Nothing wrong in wishing to be loved and noticed by the world…
But how can the world see us if we are the first to ignore the exsistence of ourselves?
Untitled
Copyright Tami
A Fucking hate and fucking pain
I don’t think I can ever be sane
I hate this feeling I hate this pain
I have to cry out in the rain
I have to cut myself 5 times at school
About 20 at home man I’m such a fool
I cut myself I go to the hospital
They say my blood is getting brittle
I have many stitches I have many scars
Sometimes it hurts I want to jump in front of cars
But this blade is my friend
This blade is my love
This blade is my hope and everything to me
This journey will end
This pain will pass
For tomorrow ill be in the grass.
Want to hate You
Copyright Tami
mr mc garvey
you dont self harm and you never will.
dont ever tell me or anyone that you know how it feels
how could you?
your not inside me and you dont know how much it hurts me.
i see pain in your eyes but when you look at me
i feel so hurt cuz i know that you lie to me.
never again will i trust you or that you have to say to me.
you think that i dont know!
i do and it hurts.
you hurt me so ill just hurt you back.
just so that you can feel the pain that you passed on to me.
Untitled
Copyright Tami
screaming, yelling
argueing to pointlessness
put my hand over my ears
i dont want to hear
anymore
shity day shity day
i am hurt, by the way
im sorry, im sorry
im sorry, im sorry
what else can i say
tears, tears
red rubies are my grace
hallow be thy brain
emptiness is my place
i cant take it
no, i just cant
please stop yelling
so…
what happens now?
when it never should have even
happen’d.
Leave Me Alone
Copyright Tami
sometimes i wish
that i had wings
so i could fly
far away from here
away from your words
and your irrational rules
away from the bruises
and broken, glass tears
i feel so tired and low
withdrawn from my social experiences
it hurts to much to talk
its easier just to keep quiet about things
about my endless torrment
why wont you just let me be
i can make my own decisions
i know what i want
im almost 15 years old
i dont need your shit anymore
you pathetic excuse for flesh
i hate you
Mother
I Hate You
maybe if i just make the next cut
deep enough
i wont have to worry
anymore…
Anna-Marie
Copyright Tami
i had so much to say cuz i thought u was gonna stay.
then when you was here my day was never grey.
now that your gone i will always think of you
and all of the times that you would bring me through.
now that your gone i will always think of you becuase i love you.
Self Harmer
Copyright Tami
you all think im mad
do you really get it?
i cut not to hurt you but to feel free.
this is a release for me but you dont care.
you want me to feel all the pain.
but now its not about you.
its about me and the pain i feel.
I Hate You
Copyright Tami
i see hell in your eyes
taken in by suprise
touching you makes me feel so sick
touching you makes me wanna die inside.
walking, waiting
alone without a care
hoping and hating
things that i cant bear
did you think its cool to walk right up
to take my like and fuck it up
well did you?
i hate you!
Shitless
Copyright Tami
scared shitless.
shitless is what you leave me,
there is no suport for me and you dont give a fuck.
you give me all there things to do to make me stop.
stop what you call a hobby.
but its an addiction.
i cut to feel free.
you dont like it fuck off.
you dont ever help and its slowly killing me.
Anti-Depression Pills
Copyright Tami
you tell me that im depressed.
you tell me that i need something for it but i dont
i know what you are gonna give.
just a simple pill.
anti- depression pills.
did you know they can kill you?
dont try but they can.
thats why i know now not to touch.
like a child with prezzie ordo whenh told not to open it they will.
cant help it can they?
but they dont wanna put that they will kill you on the bottle
as they know how it will end.
thats what they told me
and thats how they want my life to end.
Abandon Me
Copyright Tami
abandon me.
just let me be
just let me drown in my self pity.
watch me lie under a big darck tree.
the darkness as i call my mistury.
so just go ahead abandon me.
ill just go scream. scream the way you scream at me.
ill just tune you out.
ignore what you say to me.
becuase you’ve wholeheartedly abandoned me.
Fuck Up My Life
Copyright Tami
this is shit and i hate you.
who cares if i cut?
why do you really care.
you wanna see my pain
do u wanna take my like and fuck it up?
go ahead then just do it and see
what will come.
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