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SpandeXXX

Addict

Copyright, SpandeXXX

Everyone’s addicted to something.
Pot, pills, exercise, booze.
But sometimes people are addicted
to other things like Suicide.

They hate the world they live in.
They just can’t seem to find a place to belong.
They have no friends,
maybe one or two,
but they don’t even no about what
this person does to them-self.

She cuts her every night.
With no end in site.
She has cut cuts over cuts.
She just can’t seem to stop.
And every time she cuts her self
the blood just even redder,
but the more she does it the less blood she has.

As the razorblade sits in her hand
she just looks at it.
She’s scared of it,
but she can’t put it down.
And she can’t back out.
She tries & tries.
She begs & pleads.
But the razor cuts her even deeper.
She see the blood,
and she cries.
But no one hears.
Then she falls.

As she looks up
all she can see is herself,
with blood dripping down from her wrist.
She fells the pain and oh the agony!
She keeps screaming and screaming,
Blood still dripping down from her wrist,
And its not stopping.

Shes beginning to feel light headed,
now everything a blur.
Her eyes are getting heavy.
She can bearly scream now.
All she can hear is everyone screaming
‘Why are u doing this to ur self?’
And ‘how unlike u!’
‘Ur making me look bad?’
‘Stop doing this please, stop, we love u!’
She tries to fight it but,
its not working.
Now she nos sees gonna die!

But what will everyone think when tell find me…
“No, im not gone yet!”
She says as she tries to get up.
When she reaches the stairs she falls again but this time good.
She can bearly speak now.
She doesn’t want to go now.
She can’t leave.
Something or someone doesn’t want to let her go.

But her eyes are getting even harder to keep open.
She starts to cry.
But no one hears again.
Now shes all alone.
She can’t hold on much longer,
But all she can think about
is what shes leaving.

A world fell of hatred, war and politics,
but most of all her friends!!
She doesn’t want to leave them.
She loves them.
They love her.
They would no what to do without her.
She nos her family will miss her!
But she doesn’t care about them.

Shes worried about never…
Really falling in love.
And getting married.
Going to college.
And living in the real world all by her self.
But must of all….
Not living to see the world die!!!!

Now shes starting to fade.
As she tries to hold on she manages to say,
“What will everyone think when they find me….”
Shes almost gone by now but as she finishes her sentence,
“(echo find me) dead?…” she dies.

She just stops breathing and
she leaves the world for good.
Never again to see her friends
get married to one another,
have a couple of kids,
get a divorce and wreck their lives so bad,
so bad that their kid repeat this all over again.

So times her friends felt as if
they were being watched.
Because she was haunting them.
She had such a short life
that everyone started to forget her.
And because she was one of the
millions of suicidal teens who
finally gave into the temptation
and went forth and cut them selves in the right spot,
and fallowed the path of many addicts of suicide.

She was one who
cut them selves repeatively
and having cuts over cuts.
She wasn’t a goth but a normal person.
Who couldn’t take
all of the teasing
about being a Barbie look a like
without the big, fake looking boobs,
and being in to ballet and the Rasmus.
She was kind of an outkast,
but had a lot of friends.
And yet she chose the
only way she felt was the right way out.

Everyone was shocked when she was found dead.
She was in her room
with the bed all mest up
room all messy
music blasting
blood all over her walls
and suicide note in hand!

 

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