Psyke.org

Sarah Fisher

My Razor Blade

Copyright, Sarah Michelle Fisher

Part One

My razor blade
my closest friend
sharp and shiny
the only thing that’s real
ripping my skin
breaking through
blood fills the line
that my razor sliced into
blood, thick and red
runs down my leg
a sudden feeling of relief
trickling down to my calf
I smile and sigh
My razor blade
my closest friend
she’s rescued me yet again.

Part Two

My razor blade
She’s my closest friend
Helps me through so much
We sit and decide where to go next
When a spot is chosen
The razor penetrates my skin
More blood flows
More pain fades away
she’s my closest friend
She’s rescued me yet again.

Part Three

My razor blade
my dearest friend
here we are again
looking at my skin
seeing the many scars
adding one more
this time a design
so I design a flower
it’s next to the word pain
there’s a lot of blood
I feel so much better now
my razor blade
my dearest friend
you saved me again

Part Four

My razor blade
my best friend
once again
we meet
smiling slightly
I carve in the word hurt
I surround it with a barcode
there’s a lot of blood
a lot of lines
I’m running out of room
next time I’ll use my calf, perhaps
my razor blade
my best friend
thanks for saving me again

Part Five

my razor blade
me dearest friend
again we meet
people are hurting me
I need your release
thanks for loving me
slide it across
my pale white skin
I decided to gash my arm
the design this time is a broken heart
my razor blade
my sweetest friend
thank you once again

Part Six

My razor blade
the greatest friend
I call you again
five inches long
down my arm
the cut bleeds rapidly
my razor blade
my closest friend
you’ve rescued me again

Part Seven

My razor blade
my dearest friend
make a cross on my wrist
bleeding again
thank you
my dearest friend.

Part Eight

My razor blade
my closest friend
here we meet again
I dear I have bad news
this is out last meet
for tonight you’ll help me leave
I took some pills
I’m woozy now
this feeling is very strange
we’ll write a note first
this is what we’ll say
“Mommy I love you it’s not your fault
daddy please don’t cry
bubby I’m sorry sissy had to leave
baby, I loved you so
friends and family I’m sorry
I don’t expect you to understand
just please know I’ll watch you from heaven
and we’ll meet again in your dreams.”
Sit on the bed
lay on the towels
okay friend
here we go
slitting my wrists five ways
slitting up my veins
listening to “Heaven Sent Me You”
my blood flows and I die
my razor blade
my sweetest friend
why have you deceived me
why have I died?
I thought we were friend
now you’ll never rescue me again

 

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