Psyke.org

Morbid Faery

Can You See?

Copyright, Morbid Faery

can you see these tears as they fall?
can you feel the pain that creates them?
do you know what it’s like to be scarred?
do you even know what it is to be happy anymore?

i cut again
i cut again
make it stop
make it stop
i shake
i cry
the pain; too imense…
go away
you make me scream
you make me cry
i want to die
so kill me

you rape my mind
you make me hurt
you make me cut
i overdose
i faint
you did this
did this to me
quit it
i scream in love
i smile in hate
you make no sense…
you’re “happy”
or so you say
i HATE you
(i love you)

Feel

Copyright, Morbid Faery

whisper whisper
telling lies
kill me kill me
then she dies
empty feelings,
feel me die
empty feelings
watch me cry
killing you
killing me
killing everything you thought was true

Stupid

Copyright, Morbid Faery

you’re fucking dense
i hope you die
you don’t understand
i wish you could see
fuck you
you dont know how my mind works
you dont know what i think is right and wrong
empty feelings
i want to die of nothing;
no blood in the body
bleed me dry

Lies

Copyright, Morbid Faery

why do you keep sayiny everything
is going to be okay?
it’s not getting better.
i’m going to keep on bleeding
until the day i die
i can’t stop.
pick the scab,
make it bleed again and again.
let the blood drip
let it fall

Lie to Me

Copyright, Morbid Faery

talk to me
speak to me
show me what i should see
show me what i should be
should i be happy
should i be sad?
is that a smile on your face?
you’re smiling as i’m crying?
well that’s not very nice
i’m finally happy but you’ve become
sad, why must you take my happiness
from me?
don’t put your pain inside me

Attention

Copyright, Morbid Faery

make sure you are doing the wrong thing…
you know you want all the attention
so hurt me, make me cry
maybe people will be happy to see me hurt
more attention for you
i hate you
hit me

Anna

Copyright, Morbid Faery

she cares so much
i feel so bad
she is sad because of me
my openess lets her know, but
she won’t let go of the
pain she feels inside
it’s too much to bare.
i can’t stand the way she looks at me
with tears gathering in her
beautiful blue eyes
i love her eyes
i never meant to hurt her,
only myself.
i should have known.
now she has to deal not only
with the pain she feel,
but my pain also.
i’m sorry
i love you

Hear

Copyright, Morbid Faery

when will you hear me,
hear me scream?
listen to me as i cry,
cry out to you.
too much pain.
too much…
hold me,
and tell me everything
is okay, and i will be…
happy.
tell me that, please.
lie to me.

Don’t Leave Me

Copyright, Morbid Faery

there’s nobody around
everyone is dead…
except me
how lucky they are not to feel
the pain any longer.
i wish someone else was here
to share this life with me…
but they all chose happiness and disappeared.
i wish i could too.
i’m not gonna give up,
i guess i want my life,
but i still cut parts out of myself.
i love and i hate.
i cherish feelings
why can’t i just live

Addiction

Copyright, Morbid Faery

it’s like a drug;
the cutting is
once you start you can’t stop
it’s like a sickness;
the depression
every one is getting it
just you wait
everyone’s bleeding
we’re just cleaning away the hate,
we don’t want it to last.

Go Away

Copyright, Morbid Faery

i want to get away from the sharp objects,
which have made me bleed.
i need a vacation from life,
probly never going to escape.
people talk about killing themselves
ALL THE TIME,
but they never actually mean it.
my handwriting is sloppy,
as is my mind
i wanted to clean it up,
so i stopped, and it’s working.
hav’nt done it in a while
and i’m happy
i’ve been starving myself
a whole lot more
another form of self injury
i guess, i will never be “better”…
sick in the head
i wish i were dead

I Cut Again

Copyright, Morbid Faery

i cut again
i cut again
make it stop
make it stop
i shake
i cry
the pain
too imense…
go away!
you make me scream
(make me scream)
you make me cry
(cry)
i want to die
(kill me)

you stab me in the heart
i stab my wrist
you love me when hate myself
but you hate me when i love myself
you confuse me
what can i do?
i cant always concentrate on you…
i gotta stop
(stop!)
stop yelling at me!
stop guilting me.
shut up.
i wish i could gather up my every tear youve caused so i can fucking drown you in them

you rape my mind
(i cry)
you make me hurt
(i cut)
you make me cut
(overdose)
i faint
you did this
did this to me
quit it!
i scream in love
i smile in hate
you make no sense
youre “happy”
or so you say
I HATE YOU
(i love you)
whisper whisper
telling lies
kill me kill me
then she dies
empty feelings
feel me die
empty feelings
feel me cry
killing you…
killing me…
killing everything you thought was true.

youre fucking dense
i hope you die
you dont understand
i wish you could see
fuck you
you dont know how my mind works
you dont know what i think is right and wrong
empty feelings
i want to die of nothing;
no blood in the body
bleed me dry.

A Collection of Poems

Copyright, Morbid Faery

my world receeds in to despair and darkness
what should i do?
what can i do,
to help myself, to help you
i cant help the way i feel…
im sorry

my childhood was so nice
filled with memories of piggytails and
dreams of becoming a ballerina
now my world is all pain and sorrow, and dreams of ending it all
but yet i dream of days when i didnt have to take stupid pills that are “supposed” to work
and days when i didnt have to talk about my “issues”

the pain is more than i can bare
im about to burst
i can feel my world falling apart
my tears want to fall,
but i wont let them
i want to die
everytime i write those words,
im not sure i actually want death
i know i want to leave this pain, but,
would i need to die to escape?
i feel so abandoned, soo… sick?

i want to have some time away,
away from all this pain
away from the constant need to bleed
i want to so badly…
but i cant, not after making it this far
11 days…
thats a short amount of time for you but it seemed an eternity to me
you dont feel the pain as i do
you dont feel it crushing your skull every moment you try to resist the urge
this is me…
you act as if you know yourself, you dont. somewhere underneath that happy, naive, FAKE smile, is
something deeper
you know the pain is within you,
but you act as if it isnt
i wish i were that naive…

follow the veins…
dont be afraid… forget me… PANIC!

A Collection of Poems

Copyright, Morbid Faery

I’m sorry,
I made you cry.
Don’t worry,
I’ll be fine.
All the happy memories
we’ve shared,
Have all disappeared

I love you,
but you don’t understand;
I’m sorry
you can’t forgive me;
I hurt you too much,
if only i could take it back.
So many things I wish to take back.
Scar tissue reminds me I can’t take any of it back,
so I bleed.

Silver;sharp
I touch it to my wrist, pause…
I think of everyone I’m disappointing,
put the blade down… the pain;
stronger and stabbing, I pick it back up…
don’t pause this time, the blood released…
watch it drip…
I’m so sorry; I feel better, but I feel so bad,
I’ve disappointed him, he’s gonna be mad.

I don’t understand,
he doesn’t like me cutting,
but I like it.
He says he cares and doesn’t want to see me hurt,
if that were true,
he wouldn’t constantly remind me that everything
is my fault, my fault, it’s all my fault,
I’m the reason he hates me and “loves” her.
Soon he will say “I don’t want you anymore, you are useless.”
I cry at the thought

I want to tell you a story
A story of a girl’s life
She grew up so happy and naive
Then she realized what a horrible
place she was living in
With a broken heart she cried every night.
After a while she just didn’t care anymore
Now she sits in the corner
as she carves mistake in her wrist.

Bloody letters
He finds them the next day
Those awful little cuts
“Why do you do this to yourself?”
“Because I like it.”
Doesn’t he see I love him?
Can’t he believe he has the power to stop me?
“Because I like it.”
“Why?”
“It makes me feel better.”

well I can’t tell if you care anymore,
and I can’t tell how you feel
you don’t talk to me anymore,
you’ve found her.
I’ve lost him
you don’t want me anymore
but I want you and I didn’t
realize that til now
I’m alive because of you,
but you don’t understand that
I wish I could tell you exactly
how I feel about you, but it
wouldn’t be fair to “you” or “her”
if only I had the courage…
you wouldn’t have to deal with me
anymore

I Wish…

Copyright, Morbid Faery

i wish i didnt like this…
wish i didnt like this pain…
wish i didnt like slitting my wrists…
whis i didnt like seeing the blood…
wish i didnt laugh at my wrists…
i wish i didnt like this…
wish there was an easy solution…
wish no one cared…
wish i could help myself…
i wish i could bleed right now, die of nothing; no blood in the body…
i wish i didnt like this

Words

Copyright, Morbid Faery

feel, feel the pain
fear, fear of cutting too deep
pain, i feel it every time…
dark, dark are my thoughts
lost, ive lost my mind
gone, all the happiness disappears
broken, the heart broken
falling, into a void never to escape
escape, help me escape tihs world
hollow, hollow life
life, such a funny word
death, sets the soul free
sick, to my stomach, too much blood
sad, cry
bleed, beautiful sharp objects
red, the crimson blood
thought, all i have
cut,sets me free
scream, such a horrible sound
crucify, religion?
voice, sing how i feel
silent, keep those little demons secret

can you hear me now?

Copyright, Morbid Faery

why cant you hear me screaming?
why dont you see ive been bleeding again?
this peice of glass;
oh its so beautiful
i touch it to my wrist and release all the pain ive been collecting
oh no ive done it again
im crying again
make it stop, please just stop the pain
its too much to deal with now
it wont go away on its own;
i get help, wow that doesnt work
what a surprise
this life is too much
life? like ive said before: what kind of life is this?
this life that everyone who goes to this site lives everyday?
life, funny word aint it?

Save Me

Copyright, Morbid Faery

life hurts real bad
sleep is my only escape,
but it won’t take me
darkness imprisons me
i can’t escape
i’m suffocating
somebody,
anybody,
please save me
i might be dead or alive
this may be a dream or it may be real
help me
my blood is spilling too fast now,
i can’t breathe
somebody,
anybody,
please save me
it swallows me
i’m dead
just like that
i’m gone
nobody saved me

Thoughts

Copyright, Morbid Faery

its funny how the word life
makes me laugh
if you really think about it
what kind of life is this?
this endless nightmare we are living,
we call it life.
and i laugh again just at the thought of death
how sweet the thought of death is
to some people these thoughts are reversed , and im so glad they think that way
i hear people say “life is sooo great”
and i become the most jealous person in the world
you would not believe how jealous i get
i bet those people would never think of self injury or “self mutalation”
but i do
i think about it every night
every day
every second of my life
because i am so addicted to it
and i cant stop the bleeding anymore
its gotten so bad…
theyve gotten deeper…

Love and Hate

Copyright, Morbid Faery

love and hate
i love the pain and hate it
i hope you never have to deal
with the hurt and pain i do
all i know is pain now
go away, leave me alone
you cant make me cry anymore
you wont make me scream
please dont hate me
for these evil thoughts

Poem

Copyright, Morbid Faery

i cried and screamed
my feelings spill out
i cut and burn
my blood seeps through
i died and left
here i have found peace

Pain

Copyright, Morbid Faery

i try to kill the pain with more pain
i hate the pain
i hurt myslef
i cut and burn
i dont think about it
i just do it
there are so many scars
ugly, ugly scars
i want to feel it again
feel the pain
see the blood

 

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