Psyke.org

Melissa

Can This Be Wrong?

Copyright Melissa

How could this feel so right but be so wrong?
Wrists bleeding dripping with blood,
silently screaming but nobody comes.
Hurting on the inside, now putting it on the outside,
so people will see what they did to me.
What am I doing? Can this be wrong? It feels so right.

I Pray

Copyright Melissa

I pray for you to come back,
cry for you to leave,
wish for you to disappear,
I hope for me to be.
Why do you have to do this,
why can’t you just leave me be?
Please don t do this again,
oh why does it have to be me?

Did You Really Have To Do This To Me?

Copyright Melissa

Why did you pick me?
Couldnt you have spared me that one chance to have a perfect life?
I guess you were too selfish to see how much you’d take from me
it hurts so much to look into my eyes and see how much you’ve hurt me.
why couldnt you have just listened to me when i told you no?
i guess you needed it that much that you had to violate me

The Endlees Rejection

Copyright Melissa

People cant see the real me.
i wish they could see how much pain is put on me
they cannot accept
only reject
take in the good
ignore the bad
Then it seems ignoring went too far and now im dead.
someone could have saved me but
they saw right through the bad right to the good
now that im dead,
they twisted everything up
to see right through the good and into the bad

These Are…

Copyright Melissa

these are my feelings, these are my thoughts,
these are the words, i never forgot.
these are the hands that held the knives,
that cut my wrist, to make me feel alive.
these are the eyes that filled with tears,
as i cried in the corner to wash away my fears.
these are the wrists, that bleed from within,
as i make the cuts, so deep and thin.
these are my feelings, these are my thoughts,
these are the words, i never forgot

Pain

Copyright Melissa

emo songs, shaddy friends,
tears of black roll down my chin,
as i cut these wrist of mine,
the blood falls gently by my side,
broken hearted suicide notes,
a rope thats hanging oh so close,
bottles of pills bloody knives,
scars on my wrist, stupid lies,
beautifully depressed is how i feel,
raw cuts start to heel,
dried up blood, on my hand
i whip away the tears on my chin,
i start to think that if i died,
who would want to see me
one more time?
would they love me the same,
as when i lived?
or let go of me,
like flowers in the wind?
and if i seemed to want to live,
would you listen?
or walk away and simply grin?
everyone seems it will get better,
but always gets worse,
while theres changing in the weather.

Anger and Frustration

Copyright, Melissa

slit my throat
slit my wrists
kill me now
so i dont exist

fuck that
ill kill you
put me outta my misery
fuck you
i hate you!

Untitled

Copyright, Melissa

Cuts run shallow, cuts run deep, cuts release blood, and make others weep, cuts can be hidden, or right out there, on someone’s hand, u never know where, cuts help with pain, though in not the best way, cuts help deal with the daily strain, and sometimes dont fade away, cut yourself with razors, a knife will do, shatter some glass, use a sharp nail or two, I’ve tried them all, I’ve burnt myself too, sometimes I do it to see if im real, to see if it hurts, or to help me deal, after a few times I get addicted you see, I have to fight those urges in me, the urge to cut, the urge to burn, the urge to cause so much hurt that I yearn, you may think I’m crazy, or clinically insane, but I’ll do it again, I’m addicted to pain.

Outcast

Copyright Melissa

I try to breathe,
and close my eyes,
all this pain rushes inside,
scarred up body,
Bloody wrists,
No chance of happiness,
No chance of bliss.
I hide it with my makeup,
pretend it’s all okay.
day by day it eats me,
at my heart and mind,
I react by cutting over and over
Even more this time.
I cry tears of anger,
of everyone who didn’t see,
Never payed attention,
Never cared for me,
I die here all alone,
No one let to see,
Of what I could became to be,
I never had my happy moments,
I forgot all about fun,
They treated me like dirt,
All they could see,
Was the outside,
but that wasn’t me.
So what if I’m not perfect,
That will not bring me shame,
I was different,
I wasn’t the same.

 

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