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Mel

Touch the Stars

Copyright, Mel

You reach towards the stars,
With a glint in your eye,
And a blade in your hand.
You reach as high as your arm will go,
Stretch your fingers to their limits,
Until a twinge of pain tells you
You can go no further.

Your heart leaps with desperation,
Your eyes sparkle with the recognition
That you are so close… So close.
But you are never close enough.

Your eyes sparkle,
But this time with tears.
Your heart leaps,
But this time it is reaching
Towards an imaginary ladder,
Trying to find a way back up to the stars.

You fall…
Fall as far as you can fall and so much further.
You break,
Into a thousand pieces,
Like the shards of a broken mirror.
You shatter beyond recognition,
Beyond repair.
And you are broken.

You reach towards the stars,
But now you know that you were never even close,
And you never will be.
You are not worthy of happiness,
You are not worthy of freedom.

And then you feel a pain in your hand,
And see the warmth that is your life
Trickling out of your palm.
You take the blade
And hold it near your pale skin.
You hold your breath,
And you cut,
Once,
Twice,
Three times.
You cut deep into your flesh,
Through the layers of skin
And all of your disgusting fat,
Through your veins,
Until you are satisfied
That you have gone deep enough.

And you cut again.

Your emotions flow out of your body,
Onto the floor.
All feeling you have ever known is erased,
As all you are and were is undone.

You reach, one last time,
Towards the beckoning stars,
But this time you are not hoping for happiness,
You are praying for salvation,
From this nightmare you have been living your entire life.

Your arm falls back to the ground,
Your body becomes cold and lifeless,
Like a wilted flower,
As your crimson blood drains from your body,
And that sparkle escapes from your eyes.
You have finally found the freedom you were forever searching for…

Ugly

Copyright, Mel

Just kill me now if I havent died yet tonight.
Slit my throat and leave me there dripping
of my embaressment and jugde me for, I need it
more then I need him,
The one who stole my heart.
Make me cry, because I am no one.
I know what pain feels like….
pain never left me from what you did
what scar you put in my heart from
the abuse you put me through,
so many screams, so many lies, and
so many bruises that I cannot indure nor take.
The one on my face is still yet
blue and purple and
it won’t stop bleeding…

Why don’t you just kill me now?
While your standing there smiling…
looking at me…
like I was never anything…
I know you feel that way.
I know you don’t think I’m beautiful.
What happen to person that I used to know?
did all the empty promises
you continued to say… mean Nothing.
Stop smiling for I will be the one smiling this time.I’ll press my fingers into your neck and watch the blood
flow down onto my finger tips.

Hearing your screams never made me so happy before…
Will you hit me now?!?
Now that I have your life in my hands?!?!
…I doubt you will ever hurt me like you did again…
after that night…were it was my turn
to punish you and show you what pain felt like…
Now that your cold skin is up against my body… I know what I did… and
I can finally breathe again.

 

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