Megan
Sanitize
Copyright, Megan
Sanitize my life God,
help better this bleeding lie.
Soak the blood up in your hands
rinse the soot from my eyes.
Better me so i can see,
Your words of wisdom writton on
the walls of my destiny.
Pray the death out of my mind,
destroy the madness killing me.
Strip my hands of these chains,
that this world doesnt see.
Father, break my empty longings,
better me.
Escape
Copyright, Megan
Escape into dreaming, soon I will be free
Escape into bleeding, it’s washing out of me
Escape into blindness, I need to fix my mask
Escape frome my madness, I need freedom at last
Escape from resistance, I’m losing everything
Escape from my chains, I’m dieing in these bonds
Escape to my hope, she’s so far away
Escape to my death bed, I’m freezing in this grave
Escape, is my very destiny
Monday
Copyright, Megan
Black mass surrounding
Insanity consuming
I want to bleed.
Scarred.
Please dont mention anything,
I have nothing new.
People keeping distances,
parallel with me,
superman died.
I drained his blood.
Rambeling, senslessly,
but do they still love me?
A piece of art, it’s all i see.
Yet you see a problem residing in me.
The Demons aren’t controling,
abducted by wonder of human stupidity.
One Cut For…
Copyright, Megan
one for you
one for me
one for truth
one for my family
one for my heart
one for death
one for falling apart
one for living
one for lying
one for stupidity
one for crying
one for weakness
one for strength
one for pity
one for emptiness
one for reality
one for hate
one for love
one for caring
one for believing
one for staying
one for leaving
one for blame
one for shame
one for pain
one for control
one for everything
one for nothing
each cut for something
as they leave a scar
each one does memory bring
making it all so hard
one more cut for sanity
and another for stability
keeping you together
without getting any better
too many cuts to care
but all for a reason
then one more
just for the hell of it
Will You Go Out With Me?
Copyright, Megan
You’re in my dreams and in my head. It’s such a wonder how I’m not dead. Why am I alive? Whatever happened to committing suicide? I should’ve been gone I shouldn’t exist. The bleeding stopped and my memories are the scars on my wrist. I changed my style I changed my mind. The only thing that remains the same is the traumatised soul I have inside. He tore me up and ruined my self esteem but what I lack is what I’ll redeem. I’ve been through it once twice if you say. They told me it’s impossible to still be seeing the light of day. I knew I could get through I just hated admitting the truth. It’s not the light of day. It’s just seeing your face that gets me up every day. I love your smile! I hope you like mine too. You probably see it all the time. Because I smile every time I’m near you. People say I’m intimidating. I hope it’s not true. I’m told I look too hardcore but that I can change for you. You gave me a sense of hope a way to escape the hurt. I feel a lot of affection for you it’s an emotion I can’t revert. I wish I could take it back this crush I have so strong. Someone said you’re bad. I explain how much they’re wrong. I wish you were my boy so I could be your chic. We’d be a great looking couple but that wouldn’t be it. We’d be together always both hand in hand. We’d share our happy moments as well as times when were sad. Please help me be happier. Like I should always seem. Please be my boyfriend. Will you go out with me?
For Robby — you gave me a sense of hope and helped me abandon the knife.
Pariah
Copyright, Megan
A breed of babies was reared from the earth,
Born with no common distinction,
No biological connection,
Just the indistinguishable dormant disease
Tainting a few cells of their brains.
Some thrived, lavished in the love of their families,
Some were cast out to fend for themselves,
But most existed in between all extremes–
What all the textbooks declared normal
And punctual on the milestone map.
Then…
As the chemicals flooded into their brains
And filled the designated receptacles
The sheep and the goats were sorted,
The time-release infection exploded.
The children were children no longer.
They despised the imperfect shells they were caught in
So they opened up their skin and watched
Watched as the living blood poured forth
And the malignant toxins evaporated
Into thin air.
The Informed and Elite, seeing the madness,
Gathered to make a corporate decision,
And crowned themselves as the royal standard,
Debasing (and even exiling) the lower class
To live as pariahs in the caste of cruelty.
Punished for our germ, one day we may unite,
And bring down this royal structure with our razorblades,
But until then, we’ll passively spread the sickness,
If you hold our hands, the metastasis will begin,
And you’ll be infected too.
Cliche14
Copyright, Megan
there are arms, wrists riddled
teenage troubles transcribed
into puffy pink lines
an excess we ignore
familiarity numbs the sentiment
cliche
what if it’s all an infectious disease
spread by eye contact
an epidemic with no preventative measures
reinforced by the presence of blood
coursing under the skin
Untitled
Copyright, Megan
my head is pounding and my mind is racing, another night alone with my thoughts.
my cold, shaking hand reaches out into the night, frantically searching for my one true friend; the one who can give me what I need. music in the background is able to drown the sound of my cries, but not the screaming in my head.
suddenly my fingers glide across its surface.
a quiet sigh leaves my body.
“how I’ve missed you my friend”
my hand clenches around him as I bring his edge to my pale flesh.
I close my eyes and let him run wild on my wrists.
Faster and deeper he goes, until he’s satisfied my need.
a cold liquid trickles down my arm and a single tear falls down my face.
my friend returns to the darkness and I am once again left alone with my thoughts.