Little Soldier

Dissociation

Copyright, Little Soldier

“It’s not me”
I whisper as I watch myself get tricked
“Come on in the foams pit,”
“It will only hurt a bit”
Only 4 years old
I knew that it was wrong
A flashback
My past
I don’t want to remember
So I put up a mask
He used me
Abused me
Searching for, I always vow,
When I was young and innocent
Not yet jaded
By terrible events
As I look back on my past
Through nightmares I pass
Through my childhood
Remembering his voice
Touch
Smell
I hate it
Hate him
Motherfucker
Actually
He was a
Kidfucker
Who never cared
That when I grew up
These memories would become clear
The sneer in his eye
I find myself constantly wondering
Why?
Why me?
Why him?
Why anyone would do this to a kid?
Innocence lost forever
Never really recovers
Confused
Scared
Used
Jaded
Tainted
Helpless
Hopeless
Wounded

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