Psyke.org

Holly

It Does Hurt

Copyright Holly

You don’t realize how much your words hurt me
You don’t realize how much I care
You think I just blow them off
Like I just let them sail through the air
But your words do hurt me
They even leave a scar
A scar you can’t see
Even if you look at me hard
You don’t know how much your words damage me
How painful they are
You don’t know that I’m hurting inside
That in my heart
It feels like I’ve been hit by a car

Numb

Copyright, Holly

I’m so glad I stumbled onto this site. I’m a cutter (recovering, if you will) and this site is so helpful and a comfort of sorts. I’ve written a lot of poems about cutting, and I would like to submit one:

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake…

Crimson tears of regret
Spill out, sliding along lazily
Bubbles and bursts
The red is everywhere
Bright and glowing
There is no escape

They say every person has a soul
Lost mine
It ran away
Leaving me empty

I do believe I’ll
Never find it
Just reach out blindly
Clawing at nothing
Hoping for just a little bit
Of something
Anything

Desperation fills my lungs
Breathing gets harder with every gasp
Rasping, incoherent words escaping my mouth
Liquid crystals along my cheeks
The pain is inside
The only unreachable place

Then it is gone
And the nothing resumes

Tough it out
Is what they say
I am sick of fighting
For something I have
No liking for

Walk along
Deaf to the words
Blind to the actions
Numb to the blows

But as soon as I see them
The silver gleaming under the light
Know that it will be okay
Feel for just a few more seconds

It doesn’t even hurt like it used to
Just let me bleed away
All my faults and all the frustrations
Before I break down

Funny,
But no laugh resounds
The tears won’t stop
They keep coming
Not ceasing

Panic
Light-headed
Breathing shallow
Crystals flow

Maybe this is my end?
Maybe I’ll feel again…

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

 

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