Psyke.org

Gemila

Tomorrow?

Copyright Gemila

he smokes all forms,
he drinks & fucks
like there’s no tomorrow.

I cut, I bleed,
I cry, I wait…
wishing it wouldn’t come…

Like You & I

Copyright Gemila

you make me unable to stop, to
think, in fact i cannot even
breathe. I get so caught up in
my fantasies and memories
I want it to be real again —
there i go, setting myslef up
for disappointment yet again.

But here you come, barging
back into my mind, you’re
always in my heart,
you never leave my head
who knows what will
eventuate from two lost souls
like you & i.

Thoughts

Copyright Gemila

i’ve tried to hate you, i’ve tried to forget you
but all i do is love you,
and it takes no work at all.

i only hate you coz i love you
i only want you coz i need you
you only stay so far away
because you know you feel the same.

it’s two a.m. in the morning
and i can’t sleep, you’re
running circles through my head.
you’re a miracle, you’re mystical —
the remedy or the disease?

Far From Perfect

Copyright Gemila

speaking my mind
doing what i want
i can’t be grouped,
changed,
barely even persuaded

mind set
go for it
philosophy
do or die

those who don’t like,
don’t listen,
i’m just me
far from perfect

Promises Kept

Copyright Gemila

i can clearly see
that it’s not that dark
outside.
confirming that it’s
all in my head
people notice something’s
different.
unaware i was giving off signs,
i scream a silent
internal scream
that eats at my
insides. it grows darker.
so hard to keep
the promise.
just how strong am i?

The Unknown

Copyright Gemila

they know you by
association
but they can never
really know you,
when you don’t know
yourself.

it’s true that i’m
someone’s daughter,
someone’s sister,
friend and enemy.
but all i am is
someone.
and i know you’ll
never know me.

The Me

Copyright Gemila

i know you love me
but you have no
reason or right
to be nosy.

i’d have told you when
i was ready.
when i had come to terms
with what i’ve done —
what i do.

now i feel worse,
not knowing what you
think or expect from
now on.

don’t get me help
or ask me why.
this is me.

Alone on Mt. Life

Copyright Gemila

have you got any hope
when the one person
who understands you the
most doesnt even know you

when the one thing
in life that makes sense
confuses the hell out of you.

when you hate your
one true love.

you can’t bear to
look at your reflection
to see what you’ve
become.

the shell of what
was once a great being
standing tall above the
shadows of fear.

there was never any
need for escape and
now the doors are
bolted. you’re trapped.

you dont remember
how to lift yourself
higher than the
sorrow.

so you wallow alone
for an eternity.
never fulfilling what
you dreamed out of life.

never moving forward,
just stuck halfway up
your mountain —

not close enough to
the top for the end
but not near enough
the bottom for a new
beginning

doomed forever to
never know your fate.
an empty destiny.

 

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/poetry/g/gemila