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Copyright, Gina

I woke up today
knowing what I had to do
I push it out my mind
still a few hours to get through
I sit down to breakfast with my parents and my brother
they’re clueless to the fact
that we’ll never have another
I know it’s only a few moments I’ll have to stay stable
I get yelled at for spilling juice on the table
I get up and choke back my tears
go to the bathroom and shut the door
to make sure that no one hears
I look at my pale face in the mirror
my heart hurts
I can almost feel the pain getting nearer
I turn the water on so hot that it burns
and write the letter to whom it concerns
I step into the shower
and slit my wrists
I bite my lip
and ball my hands into fists
I wish my teeth would stop chattering
and my heart would stop racing
now my breaths are slower
and my heartbeats are pacing
I wait for some strange feeling to come
but I can’t see anymore
and my whole body’s gone numb
I hear no noises
just a few distant voices
from a happier time
when I was alive

Don’t Run Away from Me

Copyright, Greenstar

Me used and wasted
Me abused and tasted
Me frail and vile
Me pale and crying
crying tears of blood
not tears of salt
i know i cant stop
but its still all my fault
always hearing i love you
never feeling that its true
can’t it once just go right?
why cant i feel good?
why do i have to fight?
Me full of rage
Me spitting out venom
Me not acting, being real
Me not acting, this is always how i feel
i can pretend to be fine
I can pretend to not live a lie
i can pretend to smile and be vain
but in my soul there is stabbing pain
in my skin there i stab, no shame
holding a blade i slice my skin
but why do i do this?
why can’t i stop, just for him?
Me loving, or at least hoping i do
Him i’m shoving, but trying not to
Me crying, fragile in his arms
trying not to scare him away.

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