DuCk

Despairing

Copyright, DuCk

How do I hate me? Let me count the ways

Like tearing flesh from bone
This feeling disconnected
Struggling, failing
To free myself from the dark
As it engulfs me
Mercilessly
Hopelessly lost in mazes of
Misery, abandoned, fear
Slitting my wrists over and over
And over again with blood tears
Boiling, gushing
Blood
Races around through each limb
Pulsing as the dark mood deepens
Bleeds out, out through my thoughts
I rape myself as I abuse,
Walk over and extinguish
My dreams, emotions
A whisper of what I used to be
And so I cut myself again
To get back at myself
To shut myself up as I’m screaming inside
Self-loathing is constant company
Violated by inner darkness
Gouge the eyes from my head
So I don’t have to see
The evil that I tread
As I’m disconnected
I belong
Nowhere

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