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CrimzinTearz

My Life

Copyright, CrimzinTearz

Blade glistening in my hand
Trying to make my pain into something you can understand
I’m sorry for slipping one more time
I’m sorry for creating so many lines
I couldn’t take the pain tearing at my heart
The razor ripping my flesh apart
So much bood dripping from my wrist
Pouring out of one deep slit
Vision fading to black for my life is gone
I tried so hard, I guess I’m not strong
Lifeless eyes, the pain no longer shows
Is this how my life is suppose to go?

Cave In

Copyright, CrimzinTearz

From a young age she saw all that went wrong
Always taught to hold your head high and be strong
Made fun of from the start
Judged on looks, not her heart
Wondered why they were so cruel
Never any boyfriends in elementary school
Pushed onto middle school and got with the popular clique
Had a few rumors she sucked dick
Now the boys came running, thought she was attractive
But left when she wouldn’t give
Loved the attention too much to let go
So she led them on that she was a ho
Short skirts, tight shirts
Let them feel thinking it wouldn’t hurt
Made it worse
So now she thinks life’s a curse
Guys didn’t change
When she hit high school they remained the same
So she flaunts what she’s got
Trying to make the guys hot
Knows what to say
And how the game’s played
Acts like a slut
Never letting them fuck
Taunt and tease
Even dropped to her knees
It got too much that she cried and cried
Praying to God to just die
Since sixth grade
Finally she caved
Overdosed on painkillers, cough syrup, and wine
When th police came she put up a fight
Arrested and saved
But yet again her strength caved
Grabbed a kitchen knife
And started to slice
Cut her arms and ankles, each thrice
Thrown on meds
Still wishing to be dead
Tried to o.d once more
This time she thought it was over for sure
Popped painkillers and slept
Hoping to be consumed by death
Awoke still in her bed
And told her mom what she did
Threw it all up
So now she cuts
Summer time so she’s eve more cautious
Broke a plastic pen, push hard as the blood glosses
Her breasts
Still praying to God for death
She’s 14 with so much more to go
So she puts on her show
Goes on a smile upon her face
Going to school in a new place
It’s summer for now
Wondering how
To hide her scars
On her breasts, thighs, ankles, and arms
She tries to struggle to the next day
But when again will she cave?

A Mind’s Turmoil

Copyright, CrimzinTearz

I sit here praying to die
Wondering if your love for me is a lie
The tears stream
Silently hoping it’s all just a bad dream
I’ll awake soon
And gone will be this gloom
I’m trying to refrain from my fears
Focus on my tears
The blade calling with a voice so sweet
No I mustn’t give into defeat
But it makes promises so nice
Saying it’ll erase the pain of my life
Should I say yes take it all
Once again start my downward fall
I can’t, but I want to
Wait no the promise I made to you
But blood glistening sticky and sweet
It’s the release I need
No don’t do it
Just one slit
Stop, make the thoughts leave
If I start I’ll hide it with long sleeves
No!!I won’t give in
Oh come on, only a few every now and thenv Stop! Stop! Leave me alone
Not until you cut to the bone
Tears pour as I wish go
Never, no!
Please I beg, leave me be
Not until you give into me
Some one help, the blood starts to stream
Ha ha, no one can hear you scream!

 

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