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Chad

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One Rose

Copyright, Chad

Trust No One.
Cant Even Trust Yourself.
If Theres Only One Door.
Would You Open It Up.
If I Was Half Way Full.
Would You Spill The Cup.
Why’s Everyones Feelings All The Same.
Everyones Using My Name In Vain.
All Of These Roads Are So Plain.
Nothing Changes.. No Matter What I Do.
I Have No Choice But To let Your Face Bruise.
Im Awaiting Your Skull gettin Cracked.
Along With Your Face Gettin Jacked.
Everybody Knows Something I Dont.
Everybody Says Things I DOnt Understand.
Take Everything You Say But A Grain Of Sand.
Get The Fuck OUt Of My Face.
Your Lifted While Im Down.
Your The Smile While I Frown.
Your The Love While Im The Hate.
Your The Reason I Cant Wait.
Cant Wait To Kill.
Cant wait To Make You Dissapear.
Face Down On A Pile Of Jagged Stones.
I Bleed For Everyone Of her Sickening Moans.
Nothing Changes.. No Matter What I Do.
I Have No Choice But To let Your Face Bruise.
Im Awaiting Your Skull gettin Cracked.
Along With Your Face Gettin Jacked.
Your Laughing While Im Mute.
Im So Ugly.. Yet Your So Beautifully Cute.
I Bleed While Your Skin Will Tightly Close.
And When We Die.. Only On Your Grave WIll There Be A Rose.

A 50 Hour Night

Copyright, Chad

I’d Rather Have Nothing.
Than to have had something, Then god take it away!
I’d rather be dead.
Then be alive and make god make me pay every single day
Am I Happy again, be Sure to wipe the smile right off my ugly face.
Ive Bled Everywhere.. I Bled All Over This Place.
Im tired of Pain.. its YOUR TURN TO RUN.
Time You Bled and Cocked The Gun.
Punishments from god.. i know he hates me.. but why this much.
Why does everything shatter after just one of my touch
Too many knives surrounding my fuckin back.
seems everything i ever try to do.
is just a fuckin waste of time to precious old you
Wanna squeeze the blood from your wrist to my mouth
Nothing i say or do for her will ever be enough
Cuz theres nothing about me that could be good
More leiters of blood will gush threw my rusty veins
A walking dead man i am right before your very eyes.
I’ve swallowed every last ounce of pain
Just to save her a tiny little piece of anger
While i sat and bled all over my bathroom tile.
I bleed for you.. i bleed for awhile.
I cant even control my own anger.
Let alone control my own blood.
I try not to let you down.. u fell
While i sat and bled for days.
Everynight i kneel and i dwell
Dont take this dogs bone.
Unless you really want bit
Dont touch my face.
Unless you want fuckin HIT.
I’d rather have nothing.
Then to have had something then god take it away!
I’d rather be dead.
Then be alive and make god make me pay every single day
Am I Happy again, be Sure to wiipe the smile right off my ugly face.
Ive Bled Everywhere.. I Bled All Over This Place.
Im tired of Pain.. its YOUR TURN TO RUN.
Time You Bled and Cocked The Gun.
Punishments from god.. i know he hates me.. but why this much.
Why does everything shatter after just one touch
Too many knives surrounding my fuckin back.
seems everything i ever try to do.
is just a fuckin waste of time to precious old you
just more pain.. just 50 hours longer

I DO NOT BLEED ENOUGH

Copyright, Chad

another dead feeling i couldnt get out in time.
another feeling i tried to bottle on down.
this never ending spider web.
never ending bleeding cut.
everyone thinks i care what they say.
i really never did so keep your mouth fuckin shut.
what proof do you need that i cant feel it.
what other examples is there out there i havent gave.
the only thing left that i havent been through.
is 6 feet under dirt in a soiled stitched up grave.
I guess were all just fucked up versions of god.
when im hurt who out there will protect me?
seems the razor does more protecting then hurting.
seems the only salvation i got in this world is my blood squirting
Is it malice that makes me this way?
is it the flies inside my heart.
why do they hatch eggs , giving birth to all new hate.
my skin has turned into pure liquids cuz of the way you treated me.
i cant hardly open my eyes eatch and every morning to this day.
its all ganna end when i load and cock the gun and blow my head away
CUT MY FUCKIN HEART RIGHT OPEN.
AND LET THE FUCKIN RAZORBLADES AND AIR OUT.
every rose in my garden is black and gone.
every ray of sunshine has rotten and bled.
every last drop of rain is on my head.
i cant seem to get away from this worlds pain.
no matter what i do.. forever will this scar be her name.
Is It My Brain that is Long Dead and gone.
Or Is It My Nerves That Have Been Severed For Years.
Why Do Girls Take All I Got Left but Only Leave Tears.
i cant Hardly Open My Eyes without wishing I was In hell.
Im Just One Sharp Bullet In A Impossible to Break Shell.
Cut My Veins Open.. Watch The Oil Pump Within.
Spread My SKin Apart.. Now You See THe stitched grin

TORN

Copyright, Chad

Have I Bled Enough Before You GOd?
My Heart Feels Like Solid Concrete Layered In Nails.
I Fall In Love.. I Wait.. I Lose.. End Of Story
I Bleed For No One, I Bleed For Glory.
All This Deciet, Its No Ones But Mine.
I Feel This Jagged Knife In My Spine.
I Cant Lay Down, Cuz My Back Is Bloody And Bruised.
I Cant Feel For You Because Im Already Dried Up And Used.
Your Warm Beautiful Body, On Top Of My Cold Lifeless One.
I Force You To Suffocation For All You Have Done.
All This Agression And Anguish You All Give To Me.
Its Just Brand New Scars That Are Ready To Be Born.
Every Last Bit Of Anything Inside I Had For You.
Its All Be Ripped.. Beaten.. Bloody, Bruised.. Torn.
Only Remedy For Me At This Point Isnt Even Here.
So I Bottle It Empty Like A Bottle Of Beer.
Hardly Have Knuckles Left On My Hand.
Punching Threw Layers Of Selfishness
Broke Ever Last Leg That Ever Tried TO Stand.
These Feelings.. THere Black.. Black As Your Heart.
I Felt Nothing But Scars That Are Yet To Be Born.
Every Last Bit Of Anything.. Has Been Torn
Anything That Ever Meant Anything To Me.. You Murdered.
You Wont Ever Be There When I Truly Need You.
You Wont Ever Listen When I Truly Need You Too.
Close Your Eyes.. And Cover Your Ears.
Beacause Everytime Im Torn And Drown In Tears.
When I Look In The Mirror.. I Put My Head Down In Disgust.
When I Feel My Chest.. I Feel The Hatred Forcing My Heart TO Bust.

No one but myself

Copyright, Chad

Happyness Is A Emotion I Was Born Without.
Disease Is A Tormented Gift From God.
I Cant Be Anything I Put My Mind Too.
I Just Equal Out TO All Your Not.
Accept By No One.. Understood By Nothing.
All I Am Is A Slave On A Broken String.
Just Another Price To Pay.
Just Another Pack of Pain.
Just Another Back of Pain.
Dont Fuckin Tell Me How Im Suppose To Feel.
Dont Fuckin Tell Me How To Cope And Deal.
I Dont Fuckin Care What You Once Went Through.
Dont Fuckin Promise Me You Will Come To..
In The End I Will Have No One But Myself.
And I Absoulutley Fucking Hate Me.
At Least Have The Balls To Stabb My Chest.
Being A Coward And Stabbing The Backs
Everything Falls Apart.
Everything Worth Loving Dies.
All Thats Empty is All I Have.
No Point in Life.. No Point In Trying.
When I Was Told Jesus Is Love.. The Priest Was Lying.
Just Another Price To Pay.
Just Another Pack of Pain.
Just Another Back of Pain.
Dont Fuckin Tell Me How Im Suppose To Feel.
Dont Fuckin Tell Me How To Cope And Deal.
I Dont Fuckin Care What You Once Went Through.
Dont Fuckin Promise Me You Will Come To..
In The End I Will Have No One But Myself…
AND I FUCKIN HATE MYSELF…
I ABSOLUTLEY FUCKING HATE ME.

Dont Look At Me

Copyright, Chad

Its Hard To Explain.
Inside I Dont Feel Anything.. Anything At All.
I’m So Ugly To Everyone.. And Myself Most Of All.
The Mirror Cracks When It Stares At My Face.
Not Even The Ugliest Person In THe World Would Take My Place.
These Shackles.. Been On So Long The Rust.
These Scabs On My Skin.. Been On So Long They Collect Dust.
These Knives In My Back.. Felt So Many Im About To Fuckin Bust.
I Wish I Was Beautiful Like You.
Worthy Of Being Looked In The Eyes.
Look Into My Pitiful Ugly Face For Too Long.
And Everything Beautiful On You Slowly Dies.
I Stitch My Eyes Shut.
I Staple My Eyelids Close.
I Hide This Hideous Piece Of Face For You All.
At The Point Im Ready To Start Over.
The Time Im Ready To Begin Again.
SomeThing In The Way To Drag Me Back Down.
Im Ready To Try TO Succeed Again In Life.
Im Ready To Get Up And Take Another Shot.
But Im Severed At The Nerve And GOD Takes All I Got.
Same Cycle Over And Over.
I Hate Myself And Think Im A Ugly Hideous Machine.
I Realise Im THe Ugliest Thing This World Has Ever Seen.
I Wish I Was Worthy Of Being Loved.
I Wish I Was As Beautiful As You.
I Wish I Was Perfect Like You Are.
These Shackles.. Been On So Long They Rust.
These Scabs On My Skin.. Been On So Long They Collect Dust.
These Knives In My Back.. Felt So Many Im About To Fuckin Bust.

Feded

Copyright, Chad

Looks Are Decieving
Along With Lies Im Believing.
With All The Millions Of Times I’ve Died.
All Thats Good Inside.. All Thats Salvation Is Dead.
Everything On my Outside Body Is Dripping Red.
I Just Want Someone To Sit And Listen.
Nothing I Say Is Ever Fuckin Heard.
Everyone Brushes Me Off There Back.
And Ignores Every Last Blooding SPitting Word.
So Many Things I Wish I Could Do.
So Many Words For You I Wanna Say.
The Only Thing That Would Happen Is.
You’d Laugh At Me And Tell Me To Go Away.
If Today Was The Last Day I Was Alive.
And I Asked You For A Kiss Goodbye.
You Turn Me Around And Knife My Heart.
As I Vagueley See Your Bloody Footprints Walk Away….
All Your Faces May Be Fake.
The Skin May Hide Your Lies.
But No Mask Out There Can Hide Your Eyes.
With All The Millions Of Dreams Of Mine That Dont Come True.
I Realise Im Everything Hated…. Hated By Every Last One Of You.
All Thats Good Inside.. All Thats Salvation Is Dead.
Everything On my Outside Body Is Dripping Red.
Im Fuckin Sick And Tired.. Of So Much Anger.
Im So Fuckin SICK AND TIRED.. Of Being So Pissed…
Im SO Fuckin HATEFULL…. Every Single Day..
Im So Fuckin Lonley.. And Never Being Missed…
No Longer Will Anyone Try To Take Or Put Me In My Place.
Next One To Do Me Wrong, I’ll Kick You Right In The Fucking Face.

Wasted Breath

Copyright, Chad

Im Bleeding My Effection Before Your Eyes.
As I Crawl Down And Need You Most IN Life.
You Slowly Stop Listening And Leave.
All Alone When I Waited For You To Come Back.
By Myself WIth Nothing But Scars I Grieve.
Eatch Day Without Having Anyone By My Side.
Feels LIke Year After Year.
How Can I Run When These Scars I Cant Hide.
Feels Like Tear After Tear.
Not A Single Person Left Who Even Fuckin Cares.
The Only Friends I Got Left Are Bladed Objects And Nightmares.
Watch Everything I Love Before Our Eyes SHATTER.
You Ask Me Whats Wrong.. Why Even Fuckin Waste Breath On The Matter?
Waking Up, Only To Get Slaughterd Back Down To The Ground.
Scattered Reamins From Past Memories Nowhere To Be Found.
My Insides.. Their Beyond Being Repaired.
I See Ashes From All The Times People Pretended To Care.
Same Room EveryDay That I Lay Wasting Away.
My Same Ugly Face.. Same Pitiful Body.
Same Faces Everyday I See That I Hate.
Dreading Every Day With Myself While I Sit And WAIT.
Im Wasting Time Talking About Anything I Think.
Im Drowning Even When Theres No Water For Me To Sink.
As I Sit And Waste My Breath…. I Bleed I Lick, I Taste.
My Heart Sets Itself Ablaze To The Thought Of This Waste.
Watch Everything I Love Before Our Eyes SHATTER.
You Ask Me Whats Wrong.. Why Even Fuckin Waste Breath On The Matter?
Waking Up, Only To Get Slaughterd Back Down To The Ground.
Scattered Reamins From Past Memories Nowhere To Be Found.
My Insides.. Their Beyond Being Repaired.
I See Ashes From All The Times People Pretended To Care.
Waste…. Waste… Waste.. Waste… Waste… Waste… Waste….
Pretty Pathetic When I Can Already Sense Dissapointment Without You Even SAying A Word.

Black Rain

Copyright, Chad

Never Ending Circle.. Nothing Hurtfull Ever Ends.
The Only Thing Drifting, Is Love, Family , And Friends
Nobody Knows… Nobody Cares.
No One To Love.. No One To Care.
You’ve All Seen Me Before, Yet You All Stare.
Same Cycle.. Same Of The Darkest Of Rain.
Zereo Memories And Millions Of Scars Of Pain.
The Blackest Of Rain.. The Very Blackest Of Rain.
Tired Of Swimming In Lies.
Tired Of Being Broken Down.
Every Emotion Has Been Raped.
All I Have Left Has Been Taken And Broke.
Nothing Left But Black Rain Forcing Me To Choke.
Dont Know Why I Dont Just Quit Now
Stop Before The Scars Get Too Deep To Erase
As I Shove Down Years Of Hatred Towards Myself Because Of Her.
You Pretend You Still Love Me And There For Me.. Though You Never Were.
I Lose It All The Second The Razor Gives The Vein A Slit.
You To Me Mean Nothing But Fuckin Shit.
Why Bother Trying When Its The Same Everyday.
Pretending You Care..I Wont Listen To What You Have TO Fuckin SAY!
Same Cycle.. Same Of The Darkest Of Rain.
Zereo Memories And Millions Of Scars Of Pain.
The Blackest Of Rain.. The Very Blackest Of Rain.
All I Have Left Has Been Taken And Broke.
Nothing Left But Black Rain Forcing Me To Choke.
Realise I Am The Way I Am From The Messages You Send.
Fuckin Same Cycle Over And Over and Over AGAIN.
Raw Emotions That I Cant Stop Unless There Bled.
A Careless Heart Feeds Off Of Pain That Im Always Fed.
These Scissions And These Scars.. There Not Mine There Ours.
I Did Them Cuz Of You.
Meaningless Effort When Your Blind To All I Ever Say and Do.
Nothing I Will Ever Say Or Do, Will Ever Mean A Thing To You..
WHy.. WHY.. WHY DO I SEE NOTHING BUT RAIN.
WHY, WHY , WHY.. NOTHING BUT DARKNESS AND RAIN… Pain, Pain.. Pain….

Loyalty

Copyright, Chad

Fuck Loyalty..
Never Got Me Anywhere But Down And Depressed.
My Heart Dangles From A Thread Which Hangs Out My Chest.
I Try As Hard As I Can.
But I Cant Please Everyone, I Gotta Fail Sometime.
Worry About Yourself, I May Not Be Okay.
I’ll Have Just Enough Energy To Bleed At The End Of The Day.
Theres No More Room On My Body To Scar.
No More Blood Left In My Veins To Spill.
Im Absolutley Dead Inside Now.
Nothing Left Alive Inside For You To Kill.
I See My Loved Ones Fade At The Crack Of Dawn.
Say You Love Me, I Need You. And Your Gone.
Expectations You Have Of Me Taking Away Your Tears.
When You Forced Me TO Cry Two Times More.
Expectations Of You Have Of Me Being There.
When Everytime I Showed Up You Locked The Door.
Your Just A Scar That Should Fade Away Over Time…S0
Actually Tell The Truth
Use your Heart And Not Your KNIFE.
Theres No More Room On My Body To Scar.
No More Blood Left In My Veins To Spill.
Im Absolutley Dead Inside Now.
Nothing Left Alive Inside For You To Kill.
I See My Loved Ones Fade At The Crack Of Dawn.
Say You Love Me, I Need You. And Your Gone.
Have We Suffered Long Enough?
A Gun TO My Head.
A Knife TO My Throat.
A Noose On My Neck.
Poision In My Veins.
Tied To A Railroad Track.
A Plastic Bag Over My Head.
My Veins Spit Out Blood.
Drowning In Gasoline.
Chokin On Mud.
Cock The Fuckin Gun.
May As Well Over-Dose.
Pump Me Full Of These Drugs.
I Dont Feel It Anyway.
Say What I Wanna Hear.
Use It Against Me Now.

Kankakee Valley

Copyright, Chad

When I Listen To You.
All I Hear Are Lies.
When I Look At You.
I See Failure In Your Eyes.
When I Open Up For Love To You.
All You Open Is Your Thighs.
And So We Turn The Page.
But Its The Same Old Book.
Unlock My Chains.
But Its My Everything You Took.
Wish Upon My Black Bleeding Star.
As I Did When I Tore My Skin.. Scars,Scars,Scars…..
I Mabye Ugly.
But I’ve Always Been Known To Show My True Face.
I’ll Never Candy-Coat My Story,I Leave It Orginal Taste.
Plain And Simple.. You Dont LIke It, Leave It.
You Dont Know A Fucking Thing About Me.
Yet You Believe Every Word People Say.
I Wanted Your Hand To Hold.
Instead I Held The Razor.
I Wanted Your Love To Make Me Feel Pure.
Instead You Poisoned My Veins With No Cure.
No One Believes Me Untill Bloods Already Been Spilled.
No Helping Me.. Im A Empty Heart Than Cant Be Filled.
The Sun Comes Out Every Morning.
But All I Ever See Is Darkness Anyway.
I’ll Hide Under These Jagged Rocks.
Because I Suffer Harder Eatch and Every Day.
I Mabye Ugly.
But I’ve Always Been Known To Show My True Face.
I’ll Never Candy-Coat My Story,I Leave It Orginal Taste.
Plain And Simple.. You Dont LIke It, Leave It.
You Dont Know A Fucking Thing About Me.
Yet You Believe Every Word People Say…
Theres No Escape.v Just A Chained Razor Wired Door.
Im The Wounded Dog You All Hate And Love To Beat.
Yet I Havent Quit Yet.. So Hit Me WIth More.

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