Anonymous
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Human Jewelry
Copyright, Anonymous
I’ve made an anklet
Engraved in my skin
The red slashes
Form red ruby dots of blood
The veins of blue
Add sapphires to this
Piece of human jewelry
Perhaps next I shall
Make a matching
Bracelet or two?
Pain Addict
Copyright Anonymous
in my heart lays still desire
of blood hot as burning fire
i need to cut, i need the pain
so blood may drip heavy as rain
broken bottle come unto me
now i cut, now i bleed
grab my razor and cut myself up
in this blood lust my minds corrupt
see it dripping sweet and red
always longing to be dead
all these obsessions never told
a blade in my hand i hold
i see evil watching me
i know now i cant break free
ill live my life long with pain,
giving into blood red rain
what will soon become of me
such a scarred one, set me free
…set me free…
take my scars, take my pain
take my corrupted life in vain
take my cuts, set me free
let these blades stop harming me
can you help, will you try?
or just watch and let me die…
i try so hard to cry, but no tears fall
so i collect my razors and use them all
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
Serenading my love for this deadly game;
I wound myself,
My pride,
And my promises.
Fearing its deadly consequences;
I wound myself,
My pride,
And my promises.
Traveling in a circle,
With nowhere to go but up,
I sink down.
Lower,
Lower,
Lower than the place I was before.
I look up to see my past,
I look down to see my future.
I look at my own blood and see my present.
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
The nightmare got worse.
Yet, I still feel the same.
I wanted to feel different,
I guess I’m insane.
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
Crying cyrstal tears
Screaming out into the night
Only the blade fights away my dark fears
Only the blade can make things right
I’ve been told that teenage angst is no way to live
But I find it a comforting familar place
Everyday I sweep by, giving what I have to give
From the far away look in my eye, you would think I’m drifting in space
Where do you turn when there’s nowhere to run?
No one to save you from yourself?
When everything but cutting has lost its fun?
And you know no one wants to help?
Only the blade takes it all away
Only the blood fixes it
Without the blade or blood emotional pain would stay
But we don’t have to deal with that once the skin is bit
When love becomes a joke and Life’s lost its luster
You have a friend
Something with which to cluster
Sharp and shiny, it will see you to the end, or help you to the end
Crying cyrstal tears
Screaming out into the night
Only the blade fights away my dark fears
Only the blade can make things right
Stecret
Copyright Anonymous
the uncertainty a tragedy
of minor consequence; no sense
of empathy displaced
you’re not a bottle, not a pill
no standard addiction
just bind her limbs to misguided hope
in hiding, swelling, dreaming to burst
no wall to contain you
just another personal detail
the nondisclosure of long-sleeved life
hushed-tone voices just ads for
rushed excuses
maimed truth; four years of
silence for the sympathy thought
undeserved so concealed
The Candle
Copyright Anonymous
candle candle burning bright
in the darkness of the night
remove temptation set me free
from pain and gloom and sight of thee
harken candle darken now
let no stranger marken thou
the knife cuts deeper in the dark
my demon comes, leaves its mark
my blood runneth over
the white cliffs of dover
through valley and saddle
to sea; marking its path
amongst marks of times past
will i ever be free?
Bloody Resort
Copyright Anonymous
cut into my skin does this dull blade.
forcing the darkened blood to turn bright red and slowly seep.
again and again this blade permeates my skin giving me a rush
head spinning and legs trembling
oh what a rush. cut my self into pieces, as many as i can, this is the onyl resort.
my only world crumbles in front of me. my only love dissipated and gone.
my flushing passionate rush gone along with it.
the only rush now is pain, the only rush now is death.
oh what a rush. cut myself into pieces. as many as i can, this is the only resort.
Cant take this way of life any longer.
not anymore, no not anymore.
die, die, i must
killing of the only saint, only goddess which is in me.
oh what a rush.
cut myself into pieces
as many as i can
this is the only resort.
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
I am a soldier fighting an unknown war why is it unknown, unknown because you can’t see it it’s fought from within it’s an emotion battle fought within an emotion battle the only casuality is me I want to scream I want to shout but my screams go unheard the scars they do not heal the wounds they do not mend, I am so alone yet so afraid the battle is over but the war is never over as the memories slow eat away old scars slowly eat away becoming new scars the lightness slowly fading to black anything that was ever good in me is slowly slipping away I am slowly falling I have nothing left except loneliness and this loneliness is overtaking me slowly engulfing me overtaking my mind and my soul eating me up.
Please Help Me
Copyright Anonymous
your eyes are bleeding softly
your heart is beating quickly
i feel the pain you cry
you start to tremble
you begin to shake
then you realize its not fake
i need to find myself again
my walls are closing in
I’m still bleeding tears
why wont some one help me
what did i do
what should i do
its not my time
I’m so confused
what’s real, what’s fake
God, I’m praying, please hear me
don’t take me away
the bleeding still wont stop
I’m getting sicker
i need some help
Someone help me, anyone?
At the Beginning
Copyright Anonymous
464 & some
the number of times i have.
it cures me for that minute, when i feel like i can’t take it anymore.
but then those feelings of being alone and lost come back again.
i’m trying so hard, its been so long
but all i can think about is it.
i have to try though
for my family
for myself.
but what am i worth?
whats the point?
Copyright Anonymous
im gonna miss you come university,
what the hell am i supposed to do,
stuck here without you,
slowly fading don’t look back,
remember how it was
don’t forget me,
remember the good times,
remember the tough stuff, we went through,
remember how we could get through anything,
those were the happiest days of my life,
will tommorow be the same,
no, cause you won’t be there,
i’ll miss you…
miss you so much…
slit…
My Mind is a Puzzle
Copyright Anonymous
My Mind is a Puzzle
My heart broken glass
Spirit drowning
Put me back together
Make me whole
The Day of your Death
Copyright Anonymous
give me a knife
and ill give you a sign
of all the anger
that built up inside
ill paint you a picture
of vanity and dare
and show what you doing
just isnt fair
ill cut even deeper
and make you see
that we were never
meant to be
ill dig you a grave
ill sing you a song
the day of your death
…
ive waited so long.
My Scars
Copyright Anonymous
I hope this helps anyone who cuts themselves or is even thinking about it. Cutting yourself only leaves memories of what you did and will make you want to do it even more. If you do cut you can e-mail me and I can try to help you or give you some words of advice because I have helped my friends to deal with things even though I am young.
I left behind so much blood
From the cuts I am in pain
I cut because I am so full of anger
Anger from problems I am not able to deal with
I cut more and more
Till I bleed so much
The blood flows like a river
I see it just drip from my body
The angrier I get the more I cut
I start with my arms
Then going to other parts of my body
I cut so deep it takes a long time to heal
Leaving behind painful looking scars
I look back from the days I cut myself
I did it due to all my pain
I think of how dumb I was to cut so deep
I try so hard to get away from these horrible memories
But every time I look I am haunted
By these horrible scars they scar me
I think of why I was so dumb
To cut myself and leave these scars
And as every day I carved more and more
All that was left for me years later
Were painful memories of my scars
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
life isnt always easy
and you can never tell
when someone that is close to you
is living in some hell
they re never really open
they never tell you why
you never see their pain
you never see them cry
they cannot stand the pain
because the slits bring them pleasure
the pain the tingle the blood
they tears you cannot measure
sometimes its for curiosity
other times its for fun
they know they wanna stop
the pain has already won
they tip their wrists way back
and watch the blood poor down
to them its very soothing
in the blood they seem to drown
it happens cuz you lie
and because they cannot kill
you never want to hurt them
they know you always will
soon they disappear
without people even knowing
they sit in agony
and still their blood is flowing
Ending Your Life
Copyright Anonymous
Maybe I’m too selfish
But when you will end your life
I can’t live anymore
You are my angle
The one I can always trust
You can’t leave me here behind
I need your voice,
Saying that I can tell you everything
When I’m crying,
And you put your arms around me,
I feel better immediately.
It’s strange, but true.
If you have to end your life,
And I know you have your reasons,
Please tell it to me,
Because that will end my life too.
Red Lines
Copyright Anonymous
i feel myself drowning in a sea of black
i should have noticed, seen the signs
as through the darkness i see the lines
angry, red, flowing fast and free
they snake across my leg, like well placed vines
and so begins the end of me
i feel myself falling through the cracks
Deep Scars
Copyright Anonymous
these scares are full of hate and pain
faster then the boold pumping through my vein
scabed and scared one at a time
all these crazy thoughts going in and out of my mind
i forgot the sadness
for as long as i remeber
but it does come back once in a while
and leaves with a smile
the first cut was little
and it did not bleed
i hid it from my parents so they could not see
the anger raging inside me
my life has been twisted
ever since i was born
little by little
riped, thrown away, and torn
as i look back on my life
i now do think twice
but i do not regret
my scares of pain
not only will i remember
but i will never forget!
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
Lifes not the thing to brag about
or to even say is great
you cant say its worth living for
for its life that i hate
love is just worth dying for
with loathesome thoughts to sell
you cant say life gets better
for i have surved in hell
Life’s Hell
Copyright Anonymous
My friends think that it is stupid
But they just dont get it
These slasshes on my arm
Make me feel glee
So why not make yourself free
I tried to stop along time ago
But I just could’nt do it
I watch the time go by
As I sit in class in this world of hell
I want to get home and ring that shiny little bell
I get the blade and run it smoothly against my skin
and cant think of anything else except for when to do it again
Bell is my razor, I named it.
You Know Me
Copyright Anonymous
You know me.
I’m the girl who sits in the back seat.
The one you put off as a rebel, a drugee.
You know me.
I’m the girl who always sits alone.
You say I’m an outcast and self-absorbed.
You know me.
I’m the girl who gets straight A’s in class.
Now, I’m the nerd, the brainiac.
You know me.
I’m the girl who draws in my notebook.
This makes me a freak, a loser.
You know me.
I’m the girl who is over-weight.
The fat girl who eats too much.
You know me.
I’m the girl who sits behind you.
Yes, I don’t say much, I’m shy.
You know me.
I’m the girl who doesn’t speak English.
My language makes me strange.
You say you know me.
I’m the loser, the rebel, the outcast,
The nerd, the freak, the fat girl,
The shy one and I’m strange.
You tell me to be this way.
To you, I’m not perfect.
You think you know me.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
i hurt myself
i feel nothing
nothing but the tears of blood
pouring out my eyes
im screaming so loud
its deafening
but no one comes to help
and im hurting
and im screaming
and i want to get away
but it hurts so bad
i cant even move
Ecstacy
Copyright Anonymous
My every being wanting,
Needing this touch,
The cold, cool touch
Of blade to skin,
Of blood dripping down,
The heat of the pain,
I am wanting,
Always wanting,
Always dying for death,
Or escape…
I always give in to my desires…
Watch me bleed and love me for it.
Maggie
Copyright, Anonymous
So you want a goodbye letter
I’ll do by best
But I can’t do better
This will be a test
To see how I cope
Without you around
You meant more than just NHS
You understood me
Well that’s what you have said
But I go and be me
I get hooked
On what you give
It seems I fell in to the trap
I always do just that
You should never show you care
But I never made you aware
I’ve never been a friend indeed
Though I’ve always been a friend in need
And Maggie could never fit the bill
And now I’ve got to say goodbye
I’m still riding high
But my fuel is now leaking
I’ll fall from the sky
And for a cushion I’ll be seeking
Another sucker to soften my blows
Attachment is all I know
Round and round I’ll go again
Maybe deeper down next time
Someone new to share my pain
I’d like to tell you I’d be fine
But I’ll miss our weekly sessions
As if I haven’t learnt this lesson
It seems I fell in to the trap
I always do just that
You should never show you care
But I never made you aware
I’ve never been a friend indeed
Though I’ve always been a friend in need
And Maggie could never fit the bill
And now I’ve got to say goodbye
So this is goodbye
I’m hurting deep inside
I’ll miss your accent
And all the times we spent
You’re moving on
And I know you won’t have regrets
Cos after all
I’m just another of your projects
On the NHS
Make Me Feel
Copyright, Anonymous
kill me
shoot me
cause me pain
make me cry out in the rain
sooth me
scar me
make it hurt
while i lie out in the dirt
Mutilate me
murder me
tear me apart
just brake my heart
break me
shake me
and ill end up on the floor
but you see i still want more…
Waiting
Copyright, Anonymous
I’m sitting here waiting.
Waiting to see if I’ll make it.
Tapping, snapping, mentally cracking.
Just Waiting.
Longing for the bite.
Proving that I feel, that I’m real.
Thinking that I need it, just to bleed with it.
Still Longing.
Hoping that no one guesses.
Glancing, shifting, twitching, bitching.
Half-hoping to tell: I’m going to Hell.
Left Hoping.
Sinking into Darkness.
Just sitting out in the hail, feeling that sting.
I can hear it sing, just to me.
Deeply Sinking.
Dreaming of that edge.
Quietly reaching out, grabbing, sighing, dying.
Breathe deep, look down, laugh, then frown.
I’m awake now; no longer Dreaming.
Speaking of my secret.
Writing, asking, yelling, crashing.
Spilling of secrets rather than blood.
Now I’m Speaking.
Here I’m Speaking.
Why do I Cry
Copyright, Anonymous
the pink gets lighter
the scars begin to fade
leaving only the memories
of my hurt and my shame
the sting is long gone
the bleeding is over
the lines are lessening
the cuts scab over
it was a first
and maybe a last
somehow i doubt it
it distracts me from my past
the pain inside
is finally overcome
with bleeding and scaring
I come undone
it doesnt hurt any longer
i dont feel a thing
its as if i’m not real
it doesnt mean what I think
i’m slowly dying
i’m breaking piece by piece
my life is almost over
its the end of me
My Dead Heart
Copyright, Anonymous
My dead heart;
Has fallen apart.
And the love I once talked about,
has finally ran out.
I’ll slowly forget the memories of it;
and how my broken heart will never perfectly fit.
Cracked down the middle; tourn at the seam.
Love, not anything like a dream.
Are you proud of what you did?
I’m closing my heart; Locking the lid.
I loved you; with all my heart.
Love, you just watched me fall apart.
my dear why does love hurt like so?
why does it put me on a all time low?
So tkae this dagger; beautiful, cut me deep…
With this heart… I cannot keep.
My love, you watched me as i fell apart.
I loved you with every piece of my dead heart.
How I Really Am
Copyright, Anonymous
how about that u now see the real me
which is someone u never thought i would ever be
how about that im a cutter and u think i have issues
but ur the one thats causing my issues and i want them to stop
so i got to my room and i slice away like i have no other way
to say how u hurt me but on the inside i feel realy good and on the out side i
feel really bad so now is the time to stop and let me have my peace
i want to die now so leave me be
Hidden Secret
Copyright Anonymous
It shall not be named.
No on will ever know the pain.
At first, the attention was nice,
but then it wasn’t.
After the mess, the secret continued.
This time, no one will ever know my secret.
The people I once wanted to know, I dare not tell.
As I keep the pain inside the scars get longer and deeper. Not just physically, but emotionally.
I was dying.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you everything. This is my hidden secret, and no one will ever know.
This is something inside me that is personal and private.
Now listen here, give me your word that you will not tell a soul. For this secret of mine shall not be told. Through your personal pain and misery, please don’t spoil it.
Don’t spoil my secret.
Leave it to me to fix my problems.
Because now, after these years, I am in control.
Why do I Cry
Copyright, Anonymous
why do i cry when i no
that no one will here the sigh?
why do i cry when no one
will take the time to sit around
and watch the bad days go by?
why do i cry when all i can do is cut?
the reason i cry is becasue no one cares about me
and im always alone trapped in this person i have no idea about
and, i cut because it makes my pride rise really high and takes me further than words can express!
Tear Stained Eyes
Copyright, Anonymous
now 365 days tears have fun down this face
dripping on the sheets in the forbidden place
the sharpness shines in the light onti the ceiling
i lift my sleeve to scars unveiling
not one knows the pain i get from the world
no one knows the shit its hurled
now i dont even feel ters builing in my eyes
i call out but no one hers my cries
people laugh it off like its a joke
but its not funny i hope they choke
its not too deep but enough to feel the pain
i cant explain, no one knows what im sayin
i wonder what people would say
if they understood i felt this way
dead hair is tucked behind my ears
tangled, notted, and soaked in my tears
so i walk about with tear stained eyes
i try to tell them but als they hear are lies
A Story
Copyright, Anonymous
a girl
a razor
a cut
she bleeds
its horrible
i read it
i shake
she watches herself bleed
blood rolls down her arm
hits the floor
my eyes focus on the terrifying words
someone
please
look what shes done
drip
splash
i cry
Mirror, Mirror
Copyright, Anonymous
mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the girl i see?
skin so scard face so pale,the one who haunts my dreams
she lays awake at night till she cries her self asleep
mirror mirror on the wall whos this girl i see?
why is she so hurt why is she so broken?
her pain is so obvious yet her words are unspoken
for she shows her problems on her skin
that reflects the pain she feels with in
yet no one says a word they just give her worthless looks
assuming that they know her, that they can read her like a book
poor little girl nothing can stop her pain
though she keeps trying she is failing at life’s twisted game
i wish i could some how help her, instead i stand aside and observe
observe her go through so much pain n confusion which she doesn’t deserve
Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the girl I see?
heart so broken, skin so scarred, some one answer me please
How did it get this bad, how can this girl be me?
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
She looks at her razor
It lay’s on her desk
She thinks about the promise
And how she made a bet
She doesnt want anyone to know
About the thoughts that go through her head
And shes so tired of feeling this way
She just wants to be dead
All the people at school
Point and call her a whore
But fuck everyone at that school
Soon she’ll shut the door
She picks up the pretty razor blade
And feels the sharp end with her finger
Blood runs down the tip of it
And then she starts to linger
Shes teased herself enough
Nows the time to go
She holds the razor to her wrist
And lets everything just flow
She pushes it deep in her skin
With blood pooring on her shirt
She doesnt feel the pain anymore
She feels like she is dirt
She pulls the razor slowly away
And feels a warm sensation come over her body
She feels the need to sit down
But everything starts getting blurry
And she feels the rush again
She puts the razor in her other hand
And cuts the other wrist the same
She feels the skin break apart
And feels the razor hit the vein
Shes starting to black out now
Soon she’ll be gone
Then she thinks about how everyone will feel
What pain that she has caused
She feels regret but cant stop from fainting
Her brother knocks on her door and yells
“Holly are you alright?”
Just as she falls and hits the floor
He hears the bang and freaks out
The door is lock, he cant get in
He yells to his mom to call 911
They’ve been down this road before
Holly has tried several times
And this time she was sure
Her dad busts the door down
But now its too late
They see her laying on the floor
Blood all over the place
Her mom and brother break down crying
But her dad looks more like hes dieing
The Ambulance gets there and takes her away
Her brother is looking at her room
The crime that had been commited was a horrible sight for him
He looks at her desk
And there lies a piece of paper
He tries to read it but the tears are blocking his sights way
He dries his eyes and looks back down
The paper says “this is my hope anyway”
This Girl Left Un-Noticed
Copyright, Anonymous
There once was a girl with a pretty face she was much more then just a pile of waste to me she was a party on wheels and I hope most of her wounds have healed. Underneath it all she was really deep. She hurt herself because she could not feel and most days she could not deal. Her problems aren’t fixed and aren’t getting better she hid it all underneath her sweater. In her drawer she kept a knife, a knife she felt would end her life. A life made up of pain and sorrow. She slits her wrist before she sleeps but her parents they don’t hear a peep. They may never see the marks she makes underneath her sweater and she knows deep down they may never get better. The pretty girl sees herself as ugly and fat because everyone at school walks on her like a doormat they treat her like she has no feelings. The bullying is never ending and she feels as though God isn’t sending an angel from above. In her heart she had no love. Her life was just no fun and she knew that it was done. She went to her drawer and got the knife and that day she ended her life. She left a note that said: “In my head oh in my head all along I felt so dead. I told you all that you would see, see the pain you have caused me. The wounds self-inflicted on my arm while all of you laughed and thought you caused no harm but soon you will see what is wrong with everything what is wrong with you and me. It was you who messed me up you who fucked my life, my life so simply ended with a knife.” On her stomach there was a heart all bloody and cut. In that heart it said “I Die for those who never feel loved”.
Beauty
Copyright, Anonymous
Beauty
In the paleness of sunless skin
In the lines and scars of past pain
In the blood of desperation.
Beauty
In the long garments of hiding
In the pale mask of fearfulness
In the ever throbbing of truth.
Beauty
In the whispered words of hoping
In the pleading tears of longing
In the painful beat of the heart.
Beauty
In the silence of the prison
In the fight of the addiction
In the life of the cutter.
Dolls
Copyright Anonymous
If i was a doll would you play with me
oops to late i was the rag doll to your sickness
you make me sick with you lies games and deciet
like condition i leave u to soak and you make my hair fall out
you in your dog collor and chains, you pinned me down with you looks
you stares your nails. rust colour grave stones you took me
you killed me
you pillaged me
and you raped me
the black skies of a storm is my broken heards delight
the red skies in the morn were my broken hearts warning
knives pierce my wrists and slit along my veins
why don’t you just get a fucking life and kill yourself already
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
as she sits on her bed
wishing she were dead
the pain grows inside
there’s to much to hide
The scars on her arm
shows all the harm
she’s tried so hard
but she’s just left scard
scared on the arm
scard in the heart
she lies on her bed
praying she were dead
the pain grows inside
there’s to much to hide
the blade hits her skin
tearing the flesh of a terrible sin
she cries her last tear
and falls to the ground in fear
fear of her death
fear of hell
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
ever cut yourself to feel the pain
see if the emptyness inside goes away
is it replaced with the pain for just one day
ever cut yourself to see how red the blood gets
or how long it takes before you get weak and pass out
or even die
ever been tempted with a knife
or stare down the barrel of a 45
and smell the powder
wonder if it will burn or even hurt will it shatter you in two
if you pull the chamber back
will blood fly and that’ll be the end of your so called life
your living here in a world you call hell
what will people say when your not here anymore
or did they even take the time to care
to say a final last good bye
or will god send down an angel of hope
and keep me alive till the times right
or will the devil tempt me to my grave
and keep playing this deadly game
just ta take my soul
to a dark forgotten place called hell…
Lying Here
Copyright Anonymous
As i lay on the floor
thinking why didnt do this before
It takes away all the sadness
Emotional pain is gone
I will not tell mt little secret
hopefully i can keep it
i dont need to talk
the pain is away and i am okay
That is what ill say
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
My days has not been good!
So i geuss im gonna have that date in my bathroom after all!
I promised friends i would stop,
but they just dont understand me!
They think i am trying to kill my self,
but im not,
i just wanna get the pain out!
And thats the only way i know how!
My Hidden Secret
Copyright Anonymous
It shall not be named.
No one will ever know.
At first I wanted people to know for the attention.
After all that mess I continued with my secret.
This time, no one will ever know this hidden secret of mine.
The people I want to know, I dare not tell.
As I keep the pain inside, the scars get longer and deeper.
Like I said, no one will ever know.
This is something that is confidential and private.
Not a soul will ever know.
Now give me your word that your mouth is sealed.
Leave it to me to fix my problems.
It’s finally going to be under control.
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
I put the blade down to my skin
I count to 3 and cut right in
Its bleeds a little, it bleeds a lot
it helps me control my thoughts
I know its wrong, I think its right
Its gets me through the dark, lonely night
It starts at the surface, gets deeper and deeper
Makes the hills of life, steeper and steeper
The letters D-I-E carved into my skin
The scars, they show the person within
And once again, the blade goes in
The Cuts
Copyright Anonymous
I cut deep,
I cut shallow,
No matter where I cut,
Or how deep,
I still feel the pain,
The pain through my nerves,
To my head,
To my heart,
No matter where it goes,
I still feel it…
Crimson Tears
Copyright Anonymous
The crimson tears fall down my arm,
Bleeding, crying, so much harm.
All the things I feel inside,
The fear and pain I try to hide.
The feel of the razor against my skin,
that holds me over, until I cut again.
Alone
Copyright Anonymous
alone in the world
alone in the house
alone all day
it makes it hurt
alone all week
alone every minute
alone when she is not
with him..
Pain
Copyright Anonymous
pain is what i miss
pain is what i need
pain is what i want
but can’t get
pain needs to be real
pain needs to be here
pain needs to be with me
but it can’t
pain is what i want to get
pain is what i have to have
pain is what i have to have now!
why can’t i just get it and be happy
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
This is part of a song I wrote about my friend:
chourus
in this mood
i feel so lost
and only i
am paying the cost
so understand
wat i do
and pleez
stop yelling at me 2
im all alone
in a big big earth
and sometimes i wish
i had never been birthed
with all this pain
what else to do
then cut myself
and no1 understands
xcept u
verse
sometimes i need alone time
and other times i need more time
to think about every little bad
thing in my life
now dont b critisizing
just cuz u aint buying
this whole cutting and hurting myself
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
Sitting in my room
Alone
The numbness encircles me visions past present future swirl recklessly
through my mind endless pictures fears hopes dreams worries
become a dizzying blur I’ll never make it out alive…
I feel the cool, even blade against my arm and it calms me.
It is the only thing concrete.
Now I am grounded. All I feel is the dull throbbing.
I see the velvety red blood slowly running down my skin.
It is the one constant.
Suddenly I am once again in my room.
The walls come back into focus.
This is my place.
In my room.
Alone.
Still alive.
It was the knife that saved me from oblivion.
My Heart
Copyright Anonymous
the drug abusers use to kill whats real
the pill takers pop to feel numb
and the cutters cut to feel
the rest just push it away
until they scream and shoot
or slice, or burn, or slowly fade away
whatever their style may be
they all need the same, to be free
My Heart
Copyright Anonymous
my heart is breaking
and it hurts.
i love the one person i
want to be with the rest of my life,
but it can’t.
it is against the rules to be with him.
everyone think it hurts to to cut
but it takes away the pain
pain is not suppose to be given my parents but they do
so the pain has to be taken away
in a different way
so it helps
Solution
Copyright Anonymous
It solves all my problems
It feels like I succeeded in life (for once)
The horrifying thoughts
The knifes and pins and glass
My pale white flesh
Filled with memorized scars
And once again…
My hand slides down
The knife goes through
The thick, red b.l.o.o.d dripping on the floor
The tears fill my red swollen eyes
My makeup flows down my disturbed cheeks
A slight cut is all it takes
To make my undying troubles fall to the ground
And get buried beneath the hard, rough surface
To all my problems and heartbreaks and feelings in my abandoned life
It’s the solution… it’s my solution
Unfinished Job
Copyright Anonymous
I started a job.
I slashed my wrists and cried for days.
I loved the smell of my warm, black b.l.o.o.d that dried on my fragile hand.
The sight of my trashed swollen arm was to my liking.
Then you walked into my ever-dying life.
I promised you that I would do nothing to harm myself anymore.
Only for you I will not put myself through anymore of my idiotic touchier
But I’m angry. I want to cut myself. I want to see more dwelling scars.
But I love you with all of my ever-lasting heart.
The air you breathe I worship
Knowing that one day, one minute, one sec,
I will take in the same air that you once blew out.
Because of you I have not died and I am living, breathing a life that I always wanted to have
I left that one single job unfinished
And unfinished it shall stay forever.
Innocent Suicide
Copyright Anonymous
It’s not my fault
I want to stop
I want to stop the crying
Stop the cutting
Stop the hurting
I hate it
I truly do
But then again
It feels so good
The look of it
The smell of it
My slashed pale flesh
The thick, black b.l.o.o.d dripping down my swollen arm
My fears all being washed away
But when I think about it
I’m doing nothing but harming myself
Over and over and over again
I’m slowly killing myself
It’s an innocent suicide.
Forever Addicted
Copyright Anonymous
Since the first day I was terrified
The first time I gripped that smooth, cold handle
I was addicted
Knowing that it was real
And that it was wrong
When the knife first touched my soft pale wrists
I was absolutely horrified but knew I will forever want more
And Forever I wanted to see more b.l.o.o.d
Forever I wanted to touch more scars
Forever I was dying
Slower and slower
Slashing my wrists is like a dream
But never becoming full-filled
I was forever scared
And forever I was scarred
And till the day that I will cut that final vein
Forever I will be {{a.d.d.i.c.t.e.d}}
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
play with razors.
play with knives.
cut yourself
and live your life.
cut it deep.
hit the vein.
let it bleed.
Bleed and bleed.
so cold inside.
so hard to live.
cut again,
you’ve hit again.
hit the floor.
bleed to death.
die right there.
thats the rest.
you’ve gone too far.
you’re so depressed.
you die to live.
yet lived to die.
you don’t regret
the things you did.
you hurt inside,
and did what you did!!!!
Love and Suicide
Copyright Anonymous
I’m tired of this shit.I want to understand.
Why my life is full of this pain and hatred.
I need everything,I want nothing.
I need you,I hate you.
I hope you die,I hope you live.
I wanted you to kill me, but you couldn’t you little bastard.
Why do you love me but treat me like this.
Treat me like the little whore everybody else sees me as.
Why can’t you just fucking make up your mind?
I know I’m a bitch but I’ll love you forever.
But if you don’t,that’s fine.
I’ll just fucking hunt you down and kill you,that’s all.
Maybe,I’ll torture you.
Maybe I should just slit my wrists in front of you.
It doesn’t have to be like this,we could be together and work it out.
Please,don’t leave me, I love you so much.
So much,I’ll give you the honor of putting me away.Away from people so I don’t infect them with this mental fuck called love.
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
Right now it’s the time when I don’t want anyone near
When I want all just to disappear from my sight
To be left alone in this misery of mine
There is no way to release all this stress
That’s accumulating with in
My chest hurts from all the hits
That’s I’ve have taken from life
Trying so hard to be the best
Not screw up and move on
Everyone says it so easy
If u only knew how difficult this is
To be me
But I take it all, one hit at a time
Trying to make wave so I can fit it
I’m heartless with out no feels ‘cuz sum how all have been
Shattered away. They flew to never return
Heartless is what I am with all these times
That I’ve have been crushed
Silent Screams
Copyright Anonymous
The day begins, the sun shines
It’s early, everything seems fine
As she steps into the crowded hall
Smile on her face, walking tall
Watching the world smile back cluelessly
While her heart burns to ashes, endlessly
She’ll hide her pain from her friends
And hope one day, the pain would end
The door slams and now she’s home
She sits down slowly, another day alone
Directing her look to her arms and wrists
Scars from before, blood in her fists
Hiding it no longer, she lets it out
Her heart so silently, screams and shouts
Yet no one hears cause’ no one knows
The past that haunts her wherever she goes
Scars of Shame
Copyright Anonymous
u cut the flesh of your own
cause you r alone
with nowhere to turn
you tell no one
cause they won’t understand
you have no one to take you by the hand
and tell you they understand
u hide th cuts
u cry at night within your room
u go on the next day hidding the pain
no one seems to notice
that you think life is hopeless
but you still go on
but then the truth is known to everyone in your home
it gets out to your school
people stare
poeple gossip
but you still go on
but you try to go on
like nothings wrong
and know one knows
changing the subject when people ask
or you’ll laugh to try to convince them that your okay
or just ignore what they’re saying
you try to convince yourself that know one knows and that things are still the same
you still try to hide the truth
but your left with the scars of shame
Untitled
Copyright Anonymous
Can’t find the strength to be alive
The constant pain eats me inside
But i know how to make it stop
A flash of metal, my blood drops
I try to look happy and i smile
Everyday is such a trial
And still nobody has a clue
The things a razor blade can do…
At my worst its twice a day
To forget the pain its the only way
Slashes run across my thighs
Hidden well from mothers eyes
Maybe one day i’ll cut too deep
And drift away in peaceful sleep
I’d be free of my life and all my pain
They wouldnt miss me, not for days
Paint It Red
Copyright Anonymous
I wake up from a dream in which i died countless times
Struggling for breath until the pictures fade away
Forgotten words keep resounding in my head
Sunlight trickles into my room, a single ray
But it shatters as soon as I try to grab it
Rigth before the cold rain comes down
I can’t explain this sudden change when
My world turns liquid and I start to drown
pre
The knife, the water, it stings
The blood, drowning, the pain
(in me)
chorus
Turn it into something you can deal with
Cut it wide, cut it deep
Paint the world red with your sorrow
Metamorphosis into sleep
(cut it wide, cut it deep, so you can start all over tomorrow)
Finally alone, I collaps on the floor
All worn out by another tiring fight
I tear up the bits that are left of me
Not able to see through another night
Unless this lulls me in a peaceful sleep
As I lay — thrown back against the wall
The rain is still pouring down on me
I’m caught in what seems an eternal fall
The knife, the water, it stings
The blood, drowning, the pain
(in me)
Turn it into something you can deal with
Cut it wide, cut it deep
Paint the world red with your sorrow
Metamorphosis into sleep
(cut it wide, cut it deep, so you can start all over tomorrow)
bridge
It suffocates, I need to rip it out of my chest
Locking you outside, my reason’s right here
It’s so intense, I need to rip it out of my heart
Another scar, carved by these fears
Drowning, the pain
Drowning, in me
Turn it into something you can deal with
Cut it wide, cut it deep
Paint the world red with your sorrow
Metamorphosis into sleep
(cut it wide, cut it deep, so you can start all over tomorrow)
My Own World
Copyright Anonymous
Long since the time has been
That peace I’ve found in here.
My mind’s a mess, my arm’s confessed
What’s happened in the past.
I hear the cries and screams of pain
And yet I do not fear.
For in my world the kind I seek
is nothing more than tears.
Things I cannot let be known
are found out anyway,
And thus I see what cannot be
But lets my mind be free.
In the dark alone I am,
But yet I feel alright.
As with a knife I scar my arm
and let it flow all night.
They watch on unknowing,
even as blood comes down;
For in my world it is not wrong
To let these feelings out.
My friends have seen the things I did,
and yet they do not tell.
Rather that they join me
in this kind of hell.
Something that would need to stop
cannot be done so fast,
With it patience and the word
to be inside my own world.
Cut and slice,
chop and dice
Cannot stop for fear of life.
As I see that what was wrong,
I found that it was all along,
I’d rather not leave my own little world.
To The Left and Free-Fall Down to Safety
Copyright, Anonymous
Water dripping,
Mixed with blood
A light red pool appears on the floor
Staring down,
At the linolium floor,
Suddenly everything seems so fake.
This poem is for my own sake,
Because I know that no one will fully understand,
Who could understand the way that pain
Angers me, and pleasures me, both, in its own
Evil way?
Suddenly the volume is turned down, and I’m seeing through anothers eyes.
All I can do is stare at the pool, and ask myself why,
As the fresh dark crimson blood mingles with the old, watered-down red.
I see myself standing there, wet, like a forgotten rag-doll in a rainstorm,
Pitiful and bleeding, a numb gazing-expression, peering out of the empty eyes,
And as I heard toward my bedroom, I am feeling a sensation never known before,
Suddenly my entire body is drifting weightlessly, and tingles delightfully with each breath.
Out of the bathroom, down the hall, and to the left,
Open the wooden door.
Bloody footprints, all through the house,
Marking my journey to sanctuary.
Sit on the bed, light dimmed, music echoing off these unadorned walls.
Suddenly I can’t breathe.
From the self inflicted pain, my body seethes,
And I close my eyes to block out the light
That has come into my vision, painfully bright,
As I free-fall in my thoughts, past all sense of reality,
Right into the empathetic hands of insanity.
Suddenly everything doesn’t matter.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
I wish I had a reason, so at least I could define
Why I am so selfish to live in this state of mind
I dig my self-inflicted grave, my words are endless knots
So lost the cell closes again, lay myself down to rot
And in this slit, this greedy proof that I portray,
I tell myself in one short rip; this world that I’ve betrayed
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
I cant explain what i feel
And i know its not real
today is the day i die
i can hear you cry
The bleeding is not stopping
My life is leaving me
I’m sorry that i never told
I guess i will never be sixteen years old
Please dont be afraid
And i am sorry
but i need to escape
just let me leave
So just let me fall
just let me sleep
Please let me fall
Back down inside my head
Illusions
Copyright, Anonymous
These precious illusions
In my head
Did not let me down
When i was defenseless
I know i will die
When i’m left without them
And all of the times
I chose to bleed
Will be laid to rest
By my stilled breathing.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
I’m gonna draw a picture, a picture with a twist, I’ll draw it with a razor blade, I’ll draw it to my wrist, and as I draw this picture a fountain will appear, and as this fountain flows my troubles will disappear.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
Why do you like me?
What is it you see?
Not my scars i take.
From last night, awake.
You don’t know my friend?
They shiny, too tough to bend.
That’s my superstar…
Always leaves a scar.
No one knows my secret,
Now I hope i keep it.
Just lay awake and dream.
Nothing is as it seems.
I cry, but not clear.
Don’t feel sorry my dear.
I want it this way.
Like every other day.
I like my blood to run.
That’s my idea of fun!
I like to feel the sting,
from my shiny metal thing.
Let me live how I please.
Let the blood trickle down my knees.
Let me dream of a better place.
Or forever let tears stream my face.
Sweet Pain
Copyright, Anonymous
Sweet pain I want to feel you,
I need to feel the pain,
Sweet pain erupt from my veins,
Spill the blood poor the tears,
And let the emotion peer,
But this disclaimer is so wrong,
Sweet pain,
You came,
And im hurting so bad,
My skin is skewering my blood,
Im so ashamed of me,
For wanting everything to be fair and perfect,
A drop,
Splits into shattered fluid,
Like its nothing,
It must mean somthing,
Sweet pain,
You win again,
Ill never live life and begin.
My Reducer
Copyright, Anonymous
i cut
i bleed
the emotional pain turns into phisical
the razor, the knife, the scissors, the thumbtack, the staple they all reduce
the pain and i am happy fro that second
this is my reducer and i love it
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
I carve into my skin,
looking, searching
for what lies beneath,
hoping to find a reason
or an answer.
I carve into my skin
through salt-flavoured tears.
Each cut stings and throbs,
and I can feel it,
reminding me that I’m real.
I carve into my skin
hoping to forget,
only to remember more
because I am left with
proof of pain.
I carve into my skin
feeling ashamed,
confused,
alone,
and numb.
I carve into my skin
knowing that
no one has to see
because my protection
is my sleeves.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
I’ve always cried
When I was sad or upset,
angry or annoyed,
stressed or just tired.
You told me crying was dumb
and that I was pathetic for it.
You told me I’d learn some day.
I’d learn to handle life without crying
So I did.
But you don’t like that either.
Now you think I’m crazy,
Now you treat me like a freak.
Don’t be upset, it’s okay.
I just didn’t want to cry anymore.
That’s all.
Now I don’t have to cry anymore.
You were right,
I learned to deal without crying…
The cut keeps me from crying.
Cold
Copyright, Anonymous
Cold goes my mind
As my nails pierce skin
For they’ve taken my weapon
All that’s left is myself
So I sit and I dwell
And I ache and I swell
Constant pain floods inside
Every drip wets the table
And I cry and I bleed
And I die and I need
We’ll go on like this
Every minute pushing harder
We’ll go on like this
And we’ll go on like this
Bleed
Copyright, Anonymous
Have you let the bleeding inside out?
Have you kissed oblivion?
Your soul will thank you for letting it free
For just one moment
But with blood from a wound came detriment
Back to torment
Back to tease
Until you give yourself more
And until you give it end.
But I can’t give it end
It calls me back again and again
As it always has
To free my mind
Release the pain
And taste escape just one more time
I’ll never give it end
Does it call you
Did you find yourself?
Free your mind
All alone
Taste blood with me
Time again
Time and again
Time to give it end
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
The scars are so hard to hide,
and the fresh cuts even harder.
Make-up can cover it,
but not all the time.
Excuses have to be readily made
and short sleeved tops and bathing suits can’t be worn…
why is it so weird to others…?
why can’t they see that it’s living… it’s coping…
My Best Friend… a Razor
Copyright, Anonymous
My best friend is always there for me when I need him
Whenever I need him, day or night, he’s there to save me
Without him, I don’t know where I’d be
He is my lifeline, my only way out
My worst enemy haunts me
Wherever I am, he is in my head, trying to kill me
My worst enemy leaves physical scars, as well as mental
I hate my worst enemy
My worst enemy, and my best friend are the same person
The person I hate, and wish was dead
Is the person I need to live, and long for
It’s the same person
But they don’t talk, except in my head
They don’t live walk, or even breathe
They don’t even move without my help
They don’t even know who I am
Yet they manage 2 rule my life
When I am in pain its because of them
When I feel so much better, it’s them
It’s all them, the person typing this is them
It’s all them,
It always has been
And it always will be
I’m not typing, my friend is
Lots of love, the razor blade
Red Line
Copyright, Anonymous
These angry red lines,
Stand-out against my pale white skin,
They scream for me,
They express my anger,
My pain,
My hurt,
My confusion,
They let all of these emotions out,
They cry the tears I wish I could cry,
Only they cry them in blood
Invisible
Copyright, Anonymous
I lie to myself
I say I don’t wanna die
When in fact I do
It’s gone too far
Too far for me to reach
Out of touch
Out of bounds
No one can help me
No one understands me
I’m a useless waste of space
As I sit on the bus everyday
I wish just wish
It would crash
Relieve me from my life
Whatever life that is!
I’m invisible
No one notices me
No one cares for me
Not anymore
Pain
Copyright, Anonymous
As i feel the pain hit me,
i can feel myself breaking up inside,
as people convinse me that im not normal,
i feel like im not wanted,
so whats the point in sticking around,
should i end it all,
or keep going through pain,
as i think to myself,
i reach for a sharp pointed blade,
as it starts to slide through my skin,
i dont feel the pain i cant feel the pain the pain is already there,
and i want that pain to dissapear,
that pain fads as i head for a dark hole,
i chose the worst,
and now i feel nothing at all.
Dark Angel
Copyright, Anonymous
I have a dark angel who visits me sometimes,
She has left her mark by ugly swollen lines,
She comes in the darkness
when things are so bad
she stares into my eyes and makes me mad
she takes my soul and she gives it away
she sends me out by myself to play
she sends me out,out in the dark rain
It is this darkness that sends me blindingly insane
she takes my hand and she holds it tight
she knows not, any form of light
she has a favorite color that she likes to see
but in the form of a liquid her color must be
she watches me hurt, she watches me cry
she watches in silence while my pain i defy
she says nothing for she cannot speak
she is in control of me for i am too weak
her clothes ar dark, but her winges are dyed
with the color that my lines have cried
the color of evil, the color of death
the color my lines have always wept
You will find my life on the tips of her wings
when deep in the darkness, my pain she brings.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
The whole thing I think is sick
The whole thing I think is shit
How many times have you wanted to die?
It’s too late for me. All you have to do is get rid of me
I’ve felt the hate rise up in me…
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves…
I wander out where you can’t see…
Inside my shell, I wait and bleed…
You got all my love, livin’ in your own hate
All you wanna do is drag me down
Tearing myself apart
From the things that make me hurt!
Giving into what has got me
Bleeding, claustrophobic, scarred
Severed me from all emotion
Life is just too fucking hard
SNAP! Your face was all it took
Cuz this need ain’t doin’ me no good
Fall on my face, but can’t you see?
This fucking life is killing me!
It isn’t easy to be hated
Numb
Copyright, Anonymous
Darkness swallowed me
Swirled around my head
Engulfed my body
And left me for dead
It drained me of thought
Drained me of soul
And left me stranded
With no where to go
I couldn’t escape it
As hard as I tried
No one heard me
When I struggled and cried
My body wilted
With nobody to hold
And without you to touch
My hands became cold
Why should I fight
Or try to go on
When it’s too late to fix
And you are long gone
The blade sank deep
I made every cut
For every mistake
Regret or mess up
No where to run
Helpless to hide
Gloom knew where to look
The pain was inside
Silence taunted me
Blackness teased
It pulled at my hair
Made me fall to my knees
Holding me there
I want to be saved
But chains still bind me
I am its slave.
I Couldn’t
Copyright, Anonymous
all my strength sapped away
i’d like to but i just can’t stay
in this life i couldn’t deal
at least this way i can’t feel
no more pain no more tears
no more hurt no more fears
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
Sliced so deep, she can see the skeleton of a whore
Then she weeps, wanting what she had before.
A river of hatred and anger floods her eye,
As she looks up to God, “Just let me die.”
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
The crimson river runs down my arm and makes a sea
The room is spinning out of control yet I see you perfectly
Oh God let him run out of my mind, out of my body, like the blood
Never let me cry, just let me die…
I feel the pain in my wrist but my heart is still throbbing
Make every pain and pleasure subside and let God have his way
I wish to leave, never to cry, just let me die…
Tainted
Copyright, Anonymous
Smooth, unblemished
Earthen skin
Pale and pallid
Under feeble light
A flawless facade
For the monster within
Soon to be broken
Soon to be faulted
A tentative stroke
A steely caress
Earthen skin breaks
Unblemished no more
Stricken with crimson
Frayed by silver
It is tainted
And it is perfect
If there is someone who wishes to leave a note or read some of my other poems, he/she may do so at my diary at www.teenopendiary.com. My diary title is “The Breaking Point” and my username is “-shattered-“.
The Cut
Copyright, Anonymous
Life is confusing.
People are rude and uncaring.
There’s no social life.
There are no friends.
There’s nothing and nobody but her.
And she doesn’t know where she belongs.
Confused, lonely, depressed.
Nothing can distract from her terrible thoughts.
No friends, just the girls that make plans in front of her, but not including her.
No social life, just homework to be done and tears to be cried.
Nothing good can come in this life.
She’s fat, ugly, dumb, and alone.
Nothing takes away from these never-ending,
Self-loathing, hateful thoughts.
Except maybe a knife.
The thought of a blade pressing on her skin.
Leaving the nice clean cut, defined, simple, and perfect.
Life is a mess, life is out of control.
But the cut… it is clean.
It is a straight line, no confusion.
Just a clean, simple and perfect cut.
This will calm her.
This is the only beauty to her body.
Her face, her body, they’re a mess, they’re ugly.
But this is beautiful.
It’s not messy — it’s perfect.
It’s the one thing she can have that’s perfect.
No perfect friendships, no perfect grades, no perfect anything.
Except for her cut.
She’s confused; she’s lonely; she’s depressed.
Nothing will calm her, but that one little cut.
That is her perfection.
Epiphanies
Copyright, Anonymous
Swirling memories and torturous thoughts rape my mind,
leaving scars deeper than most can see.
Internal scars become external as my hands glide over my body leaving marks all their own.
With a sharp flick of the wrist,
blood flows,
pulling with it my impossible hatred.
Finally, my head is clear.
Crimson Love
Copyright, Anonymous
Beautiful girl in crimson dress
smoothe pale skin
long black hair
eyes shining silver
as the blade of a knife
Beautiful girl in crimson dress
all I need
all I want
take you in my arms
like lovers waltzing by
Beautiful girl in crimson dress
you hurt me
you bleed me
but that is the cure
for this my tortured mind
Beautiful girl in crimson dress
please leave me
you have lied
you will not save me
you are rotten all through
Perfection
Copyright, Anonymous
Once beneath all time
there lived a little girl
who wanted to
change the world
starting with herself
She demanded
perfection
forgetting only God
is without defection
foolish child
The slightest failing
disgusted her
wouldn’t forgive herself
as she would another
and she hurt inside
She had to be punished
sin was rife
she smiled in cruel anticipation
took the knife
watched blood blossom red
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
A thousand eyes are watching you
Laughing at your tears
Taking pleasure in your frustration
Enjoying your pain
Come judgement day
You know they’ll be the jury
Passing sentence on every word you’ve said
Every action completed, every mistake made
Unforgiving, every detail remembered
They dig up memories best left buried
Call forgotten enemies to witness
Drag before you scenes of rejection and failure
“Your life was a waste
Nothing accomplished
Nothing to leave behind
No one to mourn your passing
You are charged with living a meaningless existance
A life of hate, misery and fear
You helped no one, not even yourself
Just lived and died in the blink of a thousand eyes
How do you plead?”
My Wonderful Life
Copyright, Anonymous
My parents don’t know me,
They Probably never will.
They don’t want to learn,
Its my sprit they will kill.
I don’t think they hate me,
But love me they do not.
Growing up I remember.
Pain, screaming, and Pot
Back then they never tried.
And still today they don’t.
They want me to love them.
I wont! I wont! I wont!
How can I love people,
I barely even know?
I don’t want to love them.
So away I will go.
I will go live.
Far, far away.
Where no one will know me,
And there I will stay.
So I bid you farewell.
And have a nice life.
Please don’t come looking.
I promise to hide the knife.
Deserve to Die
Copyright, Anonymous
I cut my wrist with a broken piece of disk,
I wish I had exacta knife to end this life,
But I don’t have that knife,
All I have is this disk,
But the night I do use that knife
Will be the night when I cry because of the overwhelming sight of the slits on my wrist,
And when I do cry
I will begin the slow and painful death I deserve to die.
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
Forver living in a memory
That will never cease to exist
Never being able to separate reality from fantasy
Lost in confusion
Drowning in emotions
Looking around at other people
Seeing how I should be
Looking in the mirror seeing all that’s wrong with me
Take a knife and cut away all those empty parts of me
When those are gone you’ll look agian
See more unworthy peices that you just can’t let be
Let it kill me
The things you think are wrong
Let the judgement cut at me
Until that part is gone
Eventually there’ll be nothing left of me for you to cut apart
Maybe then you’ll let me be
Cause now I’d rather not even be then this person you’ve created to take the place of me
Choices
Copyright, Anonymous
There was a lifeline.
Misread by many others,
But not entirely mine
It called out to me
When i got lost in a cage of rage
It showed me how to free
Myself from the voices
It took a long time
To understand that I had other choices,
Choices which caused less harm
To my friends, my family,
And my left arm
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
and i know someday
you will ask
and i will explain to you
that there are wounds that are deeper
than any razor blade could go
that every breath
every memory
leaves a scar.
Unspoken Words
Copyright, Anonymous
fuck you
you bring back all this pain
and all those years of tears that i cried
because you get off on talking about it
i cried and cried
and i told you about it
because i couldn’t hold it in any longer
i felt like i was going to burst
and i just let it pour out
the way i’d let all my pain, and loneliness and anxiety bleed out of me when i would press that sleek shiny sharp
razor against my flesh
and just like how i let those waves of crimson pour out of me, i poured out my heart to you
i told you my secret
i told you my vice
you started too
and they made me feel like it was my fault
they said i made it look “cool”
well it wasn’t my goddamn fault
you had to be the star
you had to have the attention
well take it
you could’ve gladly taken all the attention i got away from me
i wanted it to end
but you wanted it to start
it was my drug first
so get your own
now its been months
and i’m almost there
but you just have to keep talking about it
you make it come back
you make me want to slash up my arms
i love you but i hate you
just leave me alone about it
i don’t want to talk about it
i don’t want this pain
please..just leave me alone
and fucking stop it
it doesn’t make you cool
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
a cut
a scratch
a stab
a slice
they’re not all that different
and they all feel nice
on my arm
or my leg
on my foot
or my knee
these scars that are left
are a part of me
if you don’t like that
then that’s too bad
you piss me off
you make me so mad
so fuck you
and your perfect life
i’d rather be me and cut as i please
than at someone’s request
be on my knees
Never Enough
Copyright, Anonymous
She walks around with a smile on her face, a permanent fixture to her grace.
She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t tell, She cannot weep, for she would kill.
She cuts her arms, its not enough, she doesnt no who she can trust.
She trys so hard and gets so far, but it doesn’t matter coz there is always sum1 there 1st.
She looks at you, you want to help, but you could neva no wot she goes through.
She lives each day to its full extent, but it doesn’t matta coz u no she’s bent.
She can’t breathe, she’s chokin, but htere is nothing there just a memory.
A memory of a time wen all was well, i time wen she dint’t even no how to feel ill.
But now its routine, everyday, the things she goes through just to pay.
The price of life, the price of daeth, is nothing compared to what goes on in her head.
You think she’s mad, you think bad, but really all she wants to say is “Is anything i do enough?”
I Want to Die
Copyright, Anonymous
I want to die
I’m already dead
living my life a lie
becuz of things you said
I cut my wrists 2 let the hurt out
the blood is my tears
I don’t know why you hate me
being loved is my fear
my sorrow a black, blanket of death
suffocates me
taking my very last breath
I wish you could see
the razor it helps me
lends me a hand
I wish I could get better
I know I cant
Scarface
Copyright, Anonymous
i went happy with the blade
a holy massacre valentines raid
blood all flowing down my arm
never ment to do such harm
wanted to prove i am alive
wanted to see what was inside
blood is life and life is blood
mud is dirt and dirt is mud
water is the essential
i havent drank in months
this isnt life its just dirt
hurt and pain and pain and hurt
Untitled
Copyright, Anonymous
what do u do when it all comes down
what do u do inside your town
waitin around waitin to drown
inside the windows that keep you here
inside the car the car u cant steer
watching it all from inside your mirror
staying away from urself, what u fear
staying away from all that is real
keeping it secret the way that u feel
sad being happy truely is me
slow going fast makes me dizzy
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