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A

Myself

Copyright, Adriane Sarandrea

she sits in a corner
the pain inside is too much to bear
she takes out the only thing that helps with her pain
it is her new best friend

she opens the blade
she knows she shouldn’t do it
so many people say it’s wrong
but it’s the only way to make the pain go away

she cuts once
she waits
the blood starts to come to the surface
she can feel the release it brings

she cuts again
this time it’s deeper
the more blood she sheds
the less she feels the pain inside

she hears footsteps in the hall
she quickly puts her friend away
and hides the wounds she has just made
she can’t let them know

she’s afraid that if they find out
they’ll take away her friend
her security
her life

she leaves her room
acting like she is the happy child they expect her to be
but inside
she’s a troubled teen with fears and lots of pain

she doesn’t let people get too close
she’s afraid they might get hurt
afraid that they’ll hurt her
she lives alone in her mind

she hates the way people lie to her
telling her they care
telling her they understand
begging her to believe them

she doesn’t believe anyone
if she believed them
she would only be hurt again
and that would be too much of a risk to take in her state

she’s hurt a lot of people
and for that she is truly sorry
that is why she refuses to get too close
that is why she remains so far

More poems by Adriane Sarandrea…

Paper Dolls

Copyright, Ali

Write out your feelings,
Write what you feel,
What you know best,
It isnt a test.
No one will judge you,
No one will care,
Just sit and watch you in despare.
no one to tell you your wrong,
Just like your own paper dolls,
Like a cardboard box,
Doing nothing at all.
Watching you with a gleam in their eyes,
But the blades calling your name,
Run away from the paper dolls,
And make that blade,
make it yours.
Make it last forever,
Make it cut deep enough,
To slit that solid vaine.
to make all the pain go away,
For one second of eternity.

More poems by Ali…

She Answers to Amanda

Copyright, Amanda

She answers to Amanda
But she knows that deep inside she is not
Though she does not know who she is
“Amanda is caring” her mother says
“Amanda is a good person”.
But I am neither of those
Iam anger and jealousy
Dirty looks and bloody hands
Rapped around a dirty blade
I kill off all of her enemies
While she bleeds on the outside
She acts like sorrow
and looks like pain
And refuses to see that I know who I am
And that she doesnt know herself
That I except what I am
Whereas she hides from it
No, runs from it
She loves to write
and draw and sing
Yet she knows she’ll never be good at anything
Except pretending to be good
She smiles and tries to do what she’s told
But when alone she drinks away her soul
And she is alone a lot.

More poems by Amanda…

 

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