Suzi
I started cutting when I was 12 years old… I am now 33. I did manage to stop for about 4 years between the ages of 20 and 25. I guess we can call that time the party years. I think I was happy… content anyway. I started cutting again after my boyfriend of 11 years had a massive stroke. He was a crackhead. He beat me severely. I got rid of him after I got him back on his feet. I had to make him go while he was still vulnerable. I did get him kinda out of my life, but he still calls me every once in a while. Since then… I moved back to my old neighborhood… met back up with my old friends… started the meth again… then the lies… to my great husband that I now have… but the truth stays with me… it is who I am… who I need to be right now. And no one understands that part of me. So I cut again… to stay stable… to stay alive… I no longer stay superficial… I need blood… lots of it. It keeps me sane. So many years of cutting has made me a very bitter person… but I understand others who cut. And I still continue… I need it… it is life for me… when I don’t cut… it is bad… I get suicidal… I would rather cut than die.
