MyLastWish

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I am fourteen years old. I cut with a razor, knives, safety pins. Anything. I am happy to say I have been clean for two full weeks and I do not plan to continue. It will always be there. The cuts on my leg and stomach are still healing. Everywhere else are scars. I am always here to talk. My e-mail is gothchickwitanattitude@yahoo.com and I have a website with good poetry, I have found them hard to find: www.freewebs.com/cuttingedgegoth.

Although I have been clean for two weeks, I have done this for two years and I know the urges will always be there. But I am here, typing this, and feeling like I can beat this. We all can beat this. And if you have not started, do not. It is not worth it. Scars leave reminders of memories that one day you will forget.

Here is a poem from that website that I wrote:

Slow and painfully
I wish I could die
Slow and painfully
I wish I could cry
Slow and painfully
I cut with the knife
Slow and painfully
I want to end my life
Slow and painfully
I hurt you
Slow and painfully
I want something new
Slow and painfully
Waiting here, waiting for you
Slow and painfully
But I already knew
Slow and painfully
Just kill me please
Slow and painfully
I can’t live with these
Slow and painfully
These slashes on my wrists
Slow and painfully
Take no interest
Slow and painfully
You don’t need to care at all
Because slow and painfully
Is how I’ll fall

Update: I have continued SI’ing. Even worse. Scars are everywhere. And I must say that I like them. I’ve even got some pictures of them. But I admit that I think I’ve calmed down for a bit. I’m getting into the drug shit again, so cutting is put aside. But anyways, hope you enjoy the new pictures.

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