Liciababycakes
My name is Alicia. I am sixteen years old and have been cutting for three years. I have depression from my father’s side of the family. I first started cutting because of depression and being overstressed. Now I cut because I enjoy it.
When I was thirteen I started cutting. In November of 2002 I went to Ellis Hospital to get help for my depression. I spent two weeks there which did absolutely nothing. But I pretended to be better so I could go home. I continued to cut for a while and then stopped for a little over a year. Then in January of 2005 I got depressed and started again. I told my school counsellor and asked her for help. She called my mother and within a week I was sent to Four Winds. They helped me a lot with my depression and for six months I didn’t cut. Then I couldn’t help myself and had to do it. So I cut on my left shoulder so I could keep it hidden. I did not do it because of depression. I did it because I wanted and needed to. Then in October of 2005 I cut my left arm twenty-six times. Every now and then I get the urge to cut and can’t ignore it. Sometimes I try to ignore it and think about what other people would think, but I have gotten to the point that I really don’t care what anyone else thinks of me.
I believe that cutting is an addiction just like anything else. Like anorexia, bulimia and any kind of drugs. Some people want to quit, but are drawn back in. I was like that. I wanted to stop, but now I just don’t care. People think that what I and many other people do is wrong. I don’t see it as wrong at all. I see it as a release from the world. I also do not do it to kill myself. When I first started out I wanted to end my life. But now I don’t I am not depressed anymore. I have a great life, a great boyfriend and great friends. I just do it because I enjoy it. Like people who are on drugs like the feeling they get while they are high, I like the feeling I get when I cut. I am not in anyway shape or form saying that cutting is a good thing. I just think that if you are careful and seek medical attention when needed it isn’t as bad as many people think.
