Anon
Thought I would send you these pics of me and my SI. Don’t know why. Maybe to help me get over them, maybe might stop people doing it themselves. I recently started cutting again. Had stopped, but the past year has been one of the hardest in my life and in the end I turned back to the blade.
I know I’m not the worst self harmer out there. Not by a long shot. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how deep the blade goes. Guiding the hand is a whole backlog of pain.
Also included among the pics of my scratches and cuts is a picture of my knuckles. Not a terrible injury, but knuckles were squeaking afterwards for a couple of days and still are stiff to move. That came from punching a wall.
Cutting is a strange thing, and the urge to go deeper is always there. And when the urge to cut kicks in, is like trying to stop a train with your body.
So here are a few of my scratches and cuts. And I’m not showing them off like they are something to be proud of, I have only shown two people ever: One in real life and one on webcam - inadvertantly - when he was trying to stop me cutting. Was like the time when I went down to the shops wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and had recently scratched my forearm badly.
I spend so much time hiding the bastards. Might as well show them anonymously and get over it. They ain’t so bad - to the eye at least. But behind them lies mental pain that has on occasion driven me close to suicide.
So a message to anyone viewing these images: If you haven’t started cutting, don’t start. It’s addictive as hell and you will reach a point where you want to stop. I did once. But look at me now: Running back to the blade at the first moment of pain. Progressivly getting deeper as time goes on.
