Angelena
Well I’m Angelena and I have been SI for two years now and I am fourteen years old turning fifteen within this month. It started out as just something I would do if I was upset or something. But then it became a way of life. I have lived a pretty good life up until this last year where everything fell apart. My sister died of a drug overdose and I just lost it, After all that happened my dad became and alcoholic and life just wasn’t the same. I just started High school and everything seemed to go well right off the first few days I found great friends and a boyfriend I didn’t deserve. For a while everything was perfect and then he got me into smoking pot I mean yeah I have tried it many times before but he just got me into doing it almost every weekend and then after that, I did it on my own, all the time. Eventually me and him broke up and everyone just started to hate me which made me hate myself more than I already did. For so long it was hard to go to school because the same people would always start crap with me. I lost all my friends and then my best friend and I just got into a lot of trouble with all his friends so he never talked to me again either. At that point I just wanted to die and that is all that I would think about. I officially hit rock bottom and relied on pot and SI to make me happy and for so long it did. Then one night I snuck out and got picked up by the cops they brought me home and everything went from really bad to just worse. My parents went nuts and then I tried to commit suicide. The one friend I had left screamed at me and told me I was too hard to handle. All I remember then was that I was on the way to the hospital because my mom was putting me in the psych ward. Where I made my home for two weeks, I got out of there two days before Christmas and everything then had changed. My family treated me differently and people at school just said I was the psycho girl who got put away in the loony bin. But at the same time I looked at myself differently too, I realized that I needed help because I have been depressed for way to long. I know I still cut myself but I am getting help but I just want you all to know that relying on drugs and SI is not the way. It is an addicting way of life that can lead to worse off things. I know how good it feels to do it but in the end it will just leave you a past of sorry little scars, with a story to each and every one of them. At first when you get help or end up admitting yourself, it is scary and a long process and sometimes it doesn’t always help at first. But if you can find one person in your life that you can be truly open with then use it to your advantage.
