Psyke.org

Vicious

Beginning to End

Copyright, Vicious

This is my beginning:

I don’t wanna hear it. So I buried myself in lyrics. Running so fast, I hit the ground. Don’t know what happened, it’s all just black. My only home grows weak and sick. My only home ages with wisdom. Wisdom of life. A path that continues on long after I’m gone. White a color of healing. Green an illing sight. Money is green and white. It sickens the rich and heals the broke. My house upon flames turns brown. A color of rust. Of old. Old somin defined by age in my eyes with age comes youth. Insane she sits. Out the window is her sanity. Yet still we question why she sits and stares out this window. We wonder as if she wants to be insane. Looks out the window and she sees her childhood. Childhood… way back when we were individuals. She wants so much she dreams so much it’s all reality to her. For she now lives in a padded room with bars on the windows. She now lives in what used to be surreal, used to be a fantasy. She dreams… She only asked for help. Not for slavery. “Help” she said for she thought she was going insane now she says “help” for she’s dying. Dying in a silent battle for her life.

This is my ending.

Thoughts (Bloody Tears)

Copyright, Vicious

How is cutting any different than crying. Just cause my tears are red does that have to mean that they’re bad. I hurt so much and I can’t cry. I don’t know why. I just feel so empty. I can’t hold it all in so I cut cause my blood makes up for the tears that I’m missing. Somewhere along the road I was taught that crying is bad so I stopped crying and started cutting. Cause no one ever said cutting was bad. My whole life I’ve known nothing but pain. No one ever said pain was bad in fact they made it seem good, seem right, so why is cutting wrong? It’s pain. Maybe cause it makes me feel good and people don’t want me to feel good so they hurt me and when they find out that I do feel good cause I’m cutting they get mad and try to take cutting away. People are trying to take my happiness away, and trying to replace it with Zoloft and Risperdal. Like that’s going to actually work. I’m not cutting now. I feel like shit. Everyone wants me to be happy yet they take my Xacto blade away. They are taking my life away. My reason for living. And then they wonder why I hate them. I’ve stopped cutting for now but one of these days I’m going to lose it and make some of the worst cuts I’ll ever make. Then laugh as everyone freaks out. They take my cuts away and they take my tears away. Just cause my tears are red doesn’t make them bad it just makes them special.

 

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