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Suicide Jojo

I’m Still Here, But Am I?

Copyright, Suicide Jojo

I’m still here, but am I? I don’t think I’ve been here for a long, long time my body just kind of mopes about from time, time goes cahms, goes college goes back home and that’s my fucking fucked up life. Hey, but nobody cares. I mean out of all the people in the world they wouldn’t miss another person. I mean twenty miles away nobody would even know I existed, nobody would know shit about me and that’s fine by me. I’m just saying, what’s the point in being here?

Well, let me tell you, a man created a shit thing and he called it earth. Dumped some people on it somehow – thinks for a while – creates emotions, creates depression, self harm, rape and all the rest of it and sits back in a big fat arse cloud and watches why people suffer. That’s like walking up to somebody stabbing them walking away then the police coming, them saying they have fingerprint and all the rest of it then you saying you haven’t done it. I mean wake up, call God, why do you do this to people? Oh no, wait, don’t tell me, you didn’t do it, you didn’t put these people on this earth. Hmmm. What a crock of shit. I mean, how can you sit there and watch while people suffer and don’t tell me that’s a part of life, what, making people so depressed they want to kill themselves? Fuck it, fuck everything.

Too Much Hurt

Copyright, Suicide Jojo

I guess I should start with the obvious self harm. I think people get bored with stories of how lonely people are and how much they want to die. I always tell people I want to die, but I don’t. It’s just I don’t have any other options. Like the rest of the people on here I feel sad reading the stories of how people have been raped and lonely suffocated and can’t talk to their friends because they’ve been abandoned. I get this horrible feeling inside, my heart aches. I’ve tried and tried but nothing ever works for me. Suicide is my freedom and self harm is another. I’ve got everyone around me it’s just they don’t understand. I hate them for not understanding. They’ve got this happy secure life and you can’t feel nothing but jealousy but it’s not their fault for being happy it’s mine for not being and I’m sorry to all those people that have been helping me: Julie, Reanne, Janette, Bernie, Jane, these are the people that mean the most to me, but they don’t know that. I see these people at school, school is my home and I’m leaving soon. I feel so sad about that it feels like a disease that’s spreading and killing the people I care about and that’s why I’m leaving to be free of pain. I can look down and see how their doing I wouldn’t have to worry about bumping into them in the street and walking away feeling the hurt over and over again. I guess people have to die someday. My day is pretty soon so to everybody who has helped me get through this short lonely life, thanks. I’ll be watching you.

 

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