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Pathetic Loser

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Copyright, Pathetic Loser

Nothing too bad has happened in my life. Just the usual, parents divorced when I was 5, Dad is somewhat of an ass who I talk to maybe every few months. I can’t quite figure out why I have all these problems yet. I am anorexic, I do SI, I have social anxiety disorder, and depression. I don’t leave the house all that much, I don’t go to school as I should be in grade 9. I just can’t I don’t know why these things are so hard for me. The first time that I can remember that I hurt myself was when I was around 7 or 8. I jabbed an earing in my thigh, and I didn’t really feel it. I was sort of numb. My mom had a boyfriend who was a total ass and would make me go to bed hours before I got tired, (I’ve always had problems with sleeping) I remember lying in bed and a book fell off the shelf and I got so freaked out that it was a ghost or someting (keep in mind I was only like, 8) and I came down the hall and told the guy I was freaked out, but he started yelling at me and told me to go back to bed. I was trying to fall asleep but I couldn’t, I had always been scared to go to sleep I was afraid of everything from aliens, to swallowing spiders in my sleep. I was sitting in bed and I just started scratching the hell out of my hand, for about an hour. The next day there was a huge scab it was all bloody and gross. I didn’t really realize what I was doing, or understand it. Anyways, I now go through bouts of depression and currently i’m doing not too bad. I guess thats all.

 

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