Psyke.org

Lonely

Copyright, Lonely

I am a cutter and a burner. Through my life I have been depressed and suicidal. I have always been depressed ever since I was little. No one really understood me. And it was sad and I felt really alone. I have always felt rejected from the world because I am different. People make fun of me for being adopted or because of my sexuality which is bisexual. It’s hard for me to cope with my problems. I am so lost all the time. As I was growing up my neighbor molested me and I never knew it was wrong. And I never told anyone. And it just got hard. I first started burning myself when I was in 6th grade. I had an obsession with flames and fire. And I just felt so alone. Life was so hard. And everything just got worse when I got in the 8th grade. A freind of mine seuxually harrassed me and after that my life was shit. I smoked weed, got drunk, had sex, got arrested. And I cut myself like nothing else. I just thought it would ease the pain I have inside. But it didn’t. I just got overly depressed all the time. And I would cut more and more. By the time I got in high school, I was so suicidal. And I was so alone. For half the year of my fresh man year I was alone and had no friends. I just felt so alone. As the year ended, I had 3 freinds. And during the summer I was smoking weed and drinking. I got a boyfriend who said he loved me, and me and him started having sex. When my sophmore year started, I was so fucked up in my head that I lost 2 freinds. They said I was crazy and had a split personality. I didn’t care that I wasn’t friends with them because they disrespected people. But inside my mind my thoughts weren’t right. And, well, it’s summer and school is gonna start and I am going to be a junior. And right now I have no friends. And no boyfriend and my self-esteem is zero. My life is crummy. And I still cut myself. Because to me that is my only true friend. All I can say is people out there don’t cut yourself. It’s not fun and it trully ruins peoples’ lives. It’s ruining mine.

 

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