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Jodie

I Die

Copyright, Jodie

My name is Jodie. I’m a 14 year old female and have beem SI’ing for just over a year now. I started in March 2003 but stopped after the school informed my mum in June 2003. I was coping really well. But my mind started to play tricks on me again in October 2003. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw a fat person and not who I really was. I started comparing myself to all those skinny bitches. It got too much for me, and my only way of coping was to SI. When I did it, it felt great. I’ve been doing it on my legs so nobody can see. My arms are pretty bad and I’m ashamed. I have no pictures to share. Sorry. But my message is if you haven’t started SI’ing, then please don’t! It can do more damage than you think. Keep yourselves safe. And don’t be as stupid as me. You’ve got your whole lives. Don’t waste it.

I Realised

Copyright, Jodie

It’s me again. You may have read my story on how the school found out (‘I Die’). I’m 14 years old And I’ve finally realised why I cut. I thought it was because of bullying at school. But no… It’s because of my mums old boyfriend. I was 7 years old. He always hit me, I was terified… Alone and helpless. He always said after he hit me, he said, if you ever tell your mother I will kill you. After he left, I started letting my rabbit bite me, and kick and scratch me. I couldn’t live without the pain I had lived with for 8 months. I finally stopped. And when I was 13, I got so down, I remembered how much better I felt after a good kicking, or biting. I started cutting, nothing big… Just small, then I was beating myself up. And now that I’m doing it again I can’t stop. Please help. I realised why I had been doing this to myself because I have started seeing my mums ex-boyfriend again. I really need somone to respond. Please give me help. I can’t tell my mum. I need somone who I can relate to. Please e-mail me at painandsuffering6669@hotmail.com.

Moving On

Copyright, Jodie

I would like to say to all the people out there who cut themselves: You can stop. It’s just a choice of whether you want to or not. I’m 15 years old. I’ve been cutting myself since I was ten, when I accidentally cut myself with a knife whilst cutting an orange. I was angry at the time and the cut seemed to relieve me. I’ve stopped cutting myself in the last 4 or 5 months. Self harm is basically a thing you grow out of. People can argue that you don’t but me and all my friends who were formally cutters stopped. Of course you won’t stop completely for the first while but soon you do stop. I am trying to give a little piece of hope to the people who feel like they have nowhere to turn. I felt like that and still sometimes do. But I’ve found other ways to go about my pain and anger.

If you ever want to talk to me or just need some advice please feel free to mail me at i_like_to_poke_badgers_with_spoons@hotmail.com or i_like_jelly_tots@yahoo.com.

Thanks for reading. Peace and love.
Jodie

 

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