Psyke.org

Jennell

Untitled

Copyright, Jennell

I am going to tell you about my SI. One night my dad was screaming at me because of my grades and I was crying so hard and I had no idea what to do, so I went downstairs and went in the bathroom and started scratching myself but I wanted more pain, so I looked around and I could only find a screw driver so I used that. I pressed as hard as I could. The next day my arms were covered in cuts, but it felt good to me. I still do this, I hate how people tell me to stop because I don’t want to, it’s my way of dealing with my problems. I have been cutting for about seven months now. I just recently cut again, because my bofriend just broke up with me. I did about seventeen in all, some on my legs and about ten on my arm. I have about fifty scars on my arms from this too. It is one of the hardest things to try and stop. I never knew something like this could be so addicting. My life is pretty cool, but when things go wrong, it is terrible, and cutting is like the one thing I can turn to. Everyone tells me to just stop and I tell them it’s hard and when they can’t understand it makes me mad I just want someone to try and understand, you know?

Update

Copyright, Jennell

Well, I am glad to say that my boyfriend and I got back together, but I am still cutting. My mom told me she would get help but, she won’t. It’s weird. Then my boyfriend was all mad and crap for no apparent reason so I cut ‘luv’ on one wrist and on the other ‘sux’. I wish I didn’t have to hide it. I thought I was just cutting because of the pressure during shcool, but now it’s summer and I can’t stop. My parents are always getting all drunk and crap and they just get so annoying. I don’t think I can ever stop, because for once it’s my thing that no one can make me stop and can bug me about. I don’t want to stop but I want help too, just someone to talk to. So if you would like to talk to me my e-mail is horsefever2008@msn.com.

 

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