Psyke.org

Highclass

Copyright, Highclass

I’m a 17 year old girl. I started cutting myself when I was 14. My father used to drink a lot. It gave me a strange feeling inside myself. Before I knew it, I was sitting there cutting myself, because I couldn’t stand this feeling/pain. My mom said she was gonna put me in a mental hospital if I didn’t stop. All I wanted was her to understand it, and help me through it. She was always mad at me, and I just got worse. A few months went by, and I stopped, because I didn’t want my mom to tell my docter. One and a half year later I went to a continuation school. Everything was great, but then I started cutting myself all over again. I started thinking about my past. Not just the cutting, but also all the sleeping around, mariuhana, and drinking. I did those things to forget about my mom and dad. My teacher found out and told my parents. I was forced to go to a doctor I hate once a week. All I wanted was a therapist! Someone who could understand where I was coming from!

I haven’t been cutting myself for a little less than a year now. My life is perfect. But a few week ago I started again. This time I don’t know why. I went to see my doctor, and she told me I was sexually abused when I was about 4-5 years old. I can’t remember it, but I know who the guy who abused me is. It’s my cousins grandfather. She told me that the abuse was the reason why I always was cutting myself. Finally I got a therapist, and I’m getting help. I’m thinking about telling the police about it, but it’s kinda hard, because I live in a very small town in the Faroe Islands, and no one will belive my story. My therapist puts me in hypnosis, so I can get my memories back. I think someone should help us “cutters” in the Faroe Islands! We have no one to turn to.

I hope you “cutters” out there are trying to get some help. Good luck.

Love,
Highclass

 

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/personal/h/highclass