Psyke.org

Fiona

Copyright, Fiona

I guess with me, it’s a little confusing. Everyone around me is like, it’s “that girl” or “the girl with the weird hair” or even “hey you”. You would think that wouldn’t bother a person but it really bothers me.

I’ve never had what I wanted in life and I’ll probably never get what I want.

  • I wanted to be an officer in VICA but Noooooooo… I’m not “smart enough”
  • I wanted to be accepted at school but Noooooooo… I’m to stupid and ugly

(The list is too long for me to list everything…)

I guess I started cutting around the time I just got out of the hospital. I was so mad at my parents for not letting me do something that I went against everything and took the little paring knife and cut 5 deep cuts into my arm. At first it didn’t bleed but then blood gushed out and I felt so much better afterwards… I continued this pattern and I still do today, only I sometimes bring my razor to school because I can’t stand some people.

I tried to stop but it just kept looking at me in the eye and I so realized that I was addicted. My parents do not know and I hope they never do know only because I’m not allowed to do a damn single thing with my friends.

Just the other day, my mom said I couldn’t take a walk around because something might happen to me. (We’ve only been living here for 16 years… AHHHHH!) I hate everyone around me and no one understands what I’m going through.

 

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