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Black Tears

This is my Story

Copyright, Black Tears

I started to cut when I was thirteen years old. I am now fourteen and I still cut. I have been helpep, but everytime it fails. I started to cut because a guy I loved a lot dumped me. We had dated for about four months, then something happened and it all ended in a flash. I had to get stitches to close my arm up, because I had cut my arm so bad, and had lost so much blood. It was summer and I kept wearing long-sleved shirts for three weeks, because he lived near me and I didn’t want him to see the marks. I know it sounds silly but, it was all for him. I feel dumb now because we have broken up for the third time, I once again have cut myself over him. He doesn’t know any of this. Though he should.

I have hurt myself over a guy, and a lot of my friends say he’s a jerk and I shouldn’t do that to myself. I agree with them, but I feel better when I see the cuts on my arms, I don’t know why, I mean I hate them. But they seem to make me feel like I guess someone gets it, gets why I do this to myself. To those who don’t cut, don’t start. But if you already do, then I hope you find help, and if you don’t want help, more power to you. This is the end of my story, maybe one day I will be OK, but for now, I feel hurt and dead to the world. I guess I just want it this way.

This is True

Copyright, Black Tears

A girl who stays away from the world, has come out of her shell. Once she came out and once she was hurt by what they said. They being the other girls, the guys, even her own family. They tell her she’s ugly, when she’s beautiful. They tell her she’s dumb, when she’s smart. They tell her she is nothing, when the truth is she is everything! She’s a lost soul, or so they say. When really she’s just a girl who’s been hurt and cut up, inside and out. Like the saying goes ‘I may be smiling, but inside I’m dying’ and the truth is, she is dying!

‘How do you get that lonely? How do you hurt that bad? You have to make the call of having no life at all? Well it’s better than the life you have, how do you hurt that bad? how do you get that lonely and no body knows? Can’t they read the writing on the wall?’ Well here’s the answer: to get that lonely you have to not be loved, to hurt that bad, you have to get hurt, and for no one to see is for no one to care. And for them to not see the writing on the wall… they just don’t open their eyes to look.

 

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