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Big Cutz

Freak

Copyright, Big Cutz

I can still remember the first day that I cut. I was really angry at something when I was about 11. I ran upstairs to my room and grabbed a tack. And for some reason, I really dont know why, I just cut my wrist up and down. I wasn’t trying to commit suicide, but it felt so relieving. Everything was relaxed and I just simply went to bed. By the time I was in 7th grade I was cutting every time I was stressed out. All of my family believed that it wasn’t serious and it was a “phase”. I was only cutting with dull stuff like tacks and scissor blades and things of that nature. Then one night I grabbed a razor. You would never have thought that a shiny, sharp piece of metal would relieve so much hurt. For a while. I cut myself and actually saw that I was bleeding. It felt so nice. By the time 8th grade hit I was covered from head to toe with purple/pink scars. I still have not won the battle with cutting. I am now in 9th grade. I just hope that one day I can stop and be “normal” for once. I just feel like a freak.

Untitled

Copyright, Big Cutz

I’ve been a cutter for two years, since sixth grade. I am now in 8th grade. My ex-boyfriend does it now and it just seems that everyone does it now. It’s just weird I guess if so many people are doing it now. It kinda makes it seem more normal to me actually. I’ve seen really bad cuts and some not so bad. But the thing that makes me mad now is all these little preppies at my school are doing it now for attention. It’s stupid because they get sympathy and if people like me do it we are just the freaks. I’m not looking for sympathy or attention. I have a bad habit. I just hope one day those preppies do realize that we do it because we have pain, not for peoples’ attention.

 

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