Psyke.org

Ashley S

Lost

Copyright, Ashley S

I’ve been reading on this website for a while taking each small to what I might look at next and how I will react. There are definitely a lot of triggers on here and gosh I cut a lot from reading these, a lot more than I thought I would. I cut and I guess it all started out of curiosity instead of actual pain. I watched the TV show called Degrassi and I just cut a little to see if I could take it and I could. It didn’t really hurt and it didn’t really feel good. OK I got raped and molested when I was six all the way until I was eleven and that’s when I started for real, after he did it for the last time. I was having flashbacks and stuff and I couldn’t handle it, so I cut. I kept on cutting until people found out and I was sent off to rehab for three days. The worst three days of my life.

I stopped for a while then started back the summer before 6th grade but this time worse. I mean deep cuts every day. It was crazy. I cut all the way through 6th grade and over the summer and up to 7th grade until it happened. I cut too deep and I had to go to the hospital and get fourteen stitches. After that I was shipped off to rehab again and this for a week. I was put on two different types of medication that really don’t work and I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I was cut free for a while and doing really good then I cut again. Now I’m struggling to stop. I don’t know what to do. If anybody can help me, e-mail me.

 

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