Psyke.org

Alyce

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Copyright, Alyce

I’m a 15 year old girl. I started self harming about a year ago at school when I couldn’t handle life anymore and I had alot of anxiety and stuff. And it all got out of hand it just started with little scratches with pencil sharpener blades no one noted that I did it all the time. About a month later I started using razor blades. The cuts got deeper and more often I just used to put bandaids over them. Then my friends found out and told the school counselor. She spoke to me about it a lot. Then mental health got involved and my parents found out. They weren’t happy. This social worker started seeing me. It got that bad I was admitted to a mental ward; I stayed there for a while then things were still going down. I got discharged only for about a month then the social worker said I was a harm to myself. I went back. Nothing changed. I sat in the corner and cried. I didn’t eat, I didn’t talk I just cried. Then I went to see a shrink. He said I have severe depression and severe anxiety and a mild eating disorder. I’ve tried to commit suicide several times. I still want to die but it’s kinda impossible as im in an institution at the moment because I’m still a harm to myself. The only reason I’m writing this is because I want all the other depressed people around that they are not alone and if they need someone to talk to email me. I check it when I can.

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Copyright, Alyce

Cutting is my only true friend it has been there when everyone else turned their back; my closest friend.

For all these years you have wiped away all my tears, held me when times got rough, never spoke those hurtful words, were there to hold me when I was hurting, when no one wanted me around you sat beside me, all these years we have spent together, our Memories will never fade, I wear them on my arms, you took the pain from my heart, our bond is unbreakable, when all these people left me, you stayed with me, I know I will never let you go. If it means I have to die.

Restraints will not keep me from you.

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Copyright, Alyce

I’m a 16 year old girl a few months ago I tried to overdose on 40 aspirin and 90 Seroquel I ended up in hospital in and out of consciousness for a few days and I visited the psych ward for 2 months and got out and a few days after I tried slashing my wrists my mum walked in on me with my wrists like 6cm wide slashes with blood seeping into the carpet and I was unconscious I ended back in hospital and then I was put back into the psych ward for a whole straight year. It’s only been a few months I’ve been out and now I’ve saved up 100 aspirin and a box cutter from the supermarket this time I will succeed.

 

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