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Uncontrollable Urges
Copyright, Kelly
Sitting here Knife in hand
Not expecting you to understand
That the pain I have will never leave
I know its hard to believe
It has controlled me for so long
I don't think I can stay strong
I feel like I am doing a nose dive
Beginning to wonder why I am alive
Sitting here lighter heating
Starting to learn that he is beating
He has hid and ran, and I don't understand
How he is getting away with this... what a man
Sitting here blade to skin
Fighting the urge to push it in
Loseing the battle, beginning to shake
Its one more decision I cannot make
Shaking, rocking slowly talking
Thinking, sinking even walking
Blade in hand weary slicing
Lighter in hand very enticing.
Written on:
November 5th 2000
Kelly