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Chantel
Copyright, Chantel
I don't really know where to begin. Its the first time i can speak and really be heard. I am 14 years old, i have a extreme case of depression, i am suicidal, and oh so much more. Maybe it was the way i was raised. I grew up with the parents that i wish i never knew. They didnt care about anything that happened to me, it was like i was not there. And still today i sit here at around 1 in the morning and still think about how much better off dead. All these dreams with no hope and no star at the end of. I cant tell you all the things i have done, the list goes on and on. Arrested twice for driving (hence i am only 14) caught with vodka, whiskey and cigs when i was 13. ran away twice, was kicked out once. OD all the time till the pills didnt even hurt anymore. Cut myself offen, a way to heal that pain and shut up that damn voice inside of my head. My mom had an affair and lied to me for years about it. I am not a virgin and had not been for a long while now. I am an alcohalic, a drugadict and addicted to anything and everything. Its funny how time flys. I cant remember last when i was happy. Its sad isnt it? How life can just slip away like this. I have tried suicide many times, and people tell me dont but i cant help but to notice it. I lost everything i have to my own god damn mind, as it eats away at me. I have created a nothing of myself, as my mom screams for me to die and that i am just not pretty enough or to pretty for her. I dont deserve shit, i am the disapointment. I need to die. How many motherfucking people feel just like me? How many people can say that they have just cried for no reason, to find urself awake with ur own blood around u. Mistakes are in life, but u know somethings wrong when thats all you live. I cant do this much longer. Please come save me. If u would take me in and catch me please let me hear ur voice tomorrow. I dont know how much longer i can take this numbness i feel inside as outside i shake. Please god help me. Catch a fallen angel i shall, if you let it go. I need someone, please. Its a shame, only the good die young.
Unless... Believe...