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Julie
Copyright, Julie
I first started cutting in the 7th grade. i was only 12 and my grandmother was very ill. october of '98 came and she died. i couldn't take the pain anymore so i got up earily to get ready 4 school. and i took a razor blade to my wrist. i sliced it open good. i was crying and watching the blood drip at the sametime. But also in that very same year my parents devoriced. and i did it again.
When i relized what i had done thats when i thought i have an answer to end all of my pain that the next couple of years would bring.
1 yr had passed and i was a freshman that year. and i got really really depressed majorly. so i sat in the bath tub cause that is usually where i do it. and i sat in there picking a razor blade apart. piece by piece. i slit my wrist open again this time it was much deeper than the other one i had done before. i sat in the bath tub feeling relieved. the cut just rleased the pressure off of my chest.
Noe my sophmore year was really bad. i had met a guy my freshman year, and he was really nice to me. but things took a drastic change and he became really angry with me. he yelled at me like he never yelled before. so that nite i sat in my room writeing a suicide letter for my mom to find next to my dead mutilated body in the morning. i sat in the bath tub wanting to die so bad. i took a razor and cut 15 times into my ankle.. they were deep cuts to cause when i got done my leg wa all bloody.
so i got up cleaned it and put gauze on it... when i got done i tour the note into a million pieces. when i got done i relized what made me feel better when i was angry... cutting myself.. it was apart of me now. i didnt do it again 4 like 4 mths til i broke up with my boyfriend of 9 mths. he was txting me on my phone screaming at me 4 no reason. i took it kinda hard so i did the same thing i always do i took a bath and cut myself...
but now what i relize is that i couldnt take this anymore. i was hurting my family and friends. after my wound healed i now have a scar on my leg from what i did... this scar reminds me of what i did to myself... but i couldnt help it i had to do it. it relieved so much pressure off my shoulders...
my advice to people who are still cutting is stop. stop while u still can. its not worth leaving scars on u r body.. get help. i have been cut free for 5 mths now. Get help!