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Charlie
Copyright, Charlie
This is my story about self harming.
I have got over the worst of my self harming, the thought of wanting to do it hasn't gone but I can now control myself. I started self harming when I was 14, I would bang my arms or head against the wall or door to make bruises. It felt like such a relief when the rush of pain rushed through my body. But after a while this was not enough and even though I was still getting some pain from it, it wasn't blocking out the rest of my pain. I then found that stabbing myself with pins and sewing needles was another way of releasing my pressure. I continued bruising and pricking myself for a further year. But like before this wasn't helping me enough anymore and the pain and sense of relief was not enough. I moved on to cutting my wrist and further up my arms as well. I would use a pair of scissors or a craft nife I had stolen from where I worked. It started of little cuts, then they got longer and deeper. At one of my lowest points the hole of the inside length of my left arm was covered in cuts. It was very painfull, but that was good, I found myself trying desperatly to find spaces to cut. This went on for months, but one day I looked at my arms and saw the scars, i couldn't believe what I had done to my skin. I am 17 now and haven't cut for 7 months. I still bang my arms and head on the walls somethimes but I am slowly doing this less and less. I have never never told anyone about my self harming, but wish I did have someone I could talk to about it, but I know my family and friends would not understand and would judge me. I am winning this battle on my own without the support from my friends and family. I still have scars on my arms I doubt these will ever go away nor will the feeling of wanting to self harm. But I have got this far on my own and am not giving up now.
If I can do it so can you.