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Interview with Shelley Stoehr

Copyright, Safety Pin Girl, Author's homepage

This interview was conducted by e-mail on the 29th of january, 1999.

Safety Pin Girl

Please explain a little bit about yourself and the books you've written.

Shelley Stoehr

I'm so bad at this. I always end up talking about my car, you'll see. I'm turning 30 on Jan. 31 this month, so I'm a proud Aquarian. I live in Pomono, CA, about a half hour outside LA. I live w/ my boyfriend Chris, who was my best friend in college, and who happened to move to So. Cal. at the same time as I was getting a divorce from my ex-husband and thinking of moving down to southern California from San Francisco. I was born in Pennsylvania, and grew up in New York (Babylon, Long Island). I used to be a modern dancer, among other things, and now I'm a licensed massage therapist, working part-time in a chiropractor's office. I am an insomniac, and usually write at night, after my boyfriend goes to sleep. My four (published) books are Crosses, Weird on the Outside, Wannabe, and Tomorrow Wendy. I've been writing fiction as long as I can remember, and trying to get published since 7th grade - Crosses was my second attempt at a novel, and in all, I've written four full-length "failures" in addition to my four published works.

I have a mutt named "bone" and a goddess-mobile (car) named "Gelsey" (as in "Gelsey Kirkland"). When it rains, I get very wet, since the top on my car doesn't go up. It gets 15 miles per gallon. That may say the most about "who I am." (Absolutely no practical traits, but a lot of stubborn, sentimental ones. I think I earn less $ writing than the cost of the ink and paper my books are printed on. Barely a dollar an hour, if you reconciled my time spent writing w/my income from it. Yet I wouldn't stop writing YA fiction if you paid me ten times as much to stop!)

Anyway, if I was rich and famous, how could I justify keeping my goddess-mobile over a newer, more reliable vehicle? My boyfriend Chris has promised that if I ever start earning enough from writing to afford an awesome new car, we can ditch his car for the Mercedes or new-Bug, and I can keep my impractical goddess-mobile.

I would like to earn enough money to provide a nest-egg for "Gelsey," so I'll never have to weigh the happiness I get driving/owning her against the cost.

That's kind of my philosophy about everything - me, and my writing. (As Oscar Wilde said, "take care of the luxuries, and the necessities will take care of themselves." Except I think of it also as "nurture whatever inspires you, and have faith it'll sustain you." I'm just a hippie-freak at heart.)

Safety Pin Girl

Of the stories you write, how much of it is based on your own experience and how much is purely imagination?

Shelley Stoehr

At this point in my career, it's hard to differentiate anymore!

I never considered myself a "writer," even though I was publishing books, until a year ago, when I joined a writers' group, and discovered that I "fit in" with them - they were like me in that they didn't keep track of exactly which came first - the story, or the experience. If you are a writer, you understand - it's a very solitary career, so a lot of your "life" is made-up. It gets to where you don't write as a catharsis from living, you live as a catharsis from writing.

I hate to spout hippie-mumbo-jumbo, but something I read in Michael Crichton's book, Travels, really struck a nerve. That writing is like "channeling," and you allow different "spirits" to control you when you write, just as the medium does in a seance.

I'm not really avoiding the question - I really don't know the answer for sure. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing my experiences, other times I feel like I'm experiencing my writing.

I would agree though with the famous quote that "the best autobiography has not a whit of truth" (and visa-versa).

Safety Pin Girl

Have you always known you wanted to write? If not, how did it happen?

Shelley Stoehr

I always wrote, but no, I didn't know I wanted to. I used to love the line from Oscar Madison in The Odd Couple - "I don't like writing, I like having written." I always wanted to be something else, and yet the only thing I've consistently focused on since I was little, is writing. All through school, I used to think of writing as my "backup" career, or the "day job" that would support me while I danced, or painted, or designed clothing, or philosophized, or reasearched the religions of the world, or discovered the secret of "everything," or made funky math-magic out of Calculus. (These are just a few of my interests, and some of the "careers" I've dabbled in.)

I guess because I kept coming back to writing - leaning on it whenever I was confused about my future/identity - I finally figured out that instead of making it a chore I had to keep doing until I found something I was good at, I should just enjoy being good at it. I realized then how much I actually loved writing.

Ironically, it became harder to write as soon as I decided all I really wanted to be was a writer. More pressure, I guess.

Safety Pin Girl

So many teenage girls cut, burn, or otherwise injure themselves. Why do you think this is?

Shelley Stoehr

(Please keep in mind that I just write fiction, so a lot of this is based on my own intuition, not clinical facts!)

Inability to express deep-felt, personal emotions. Fear of "dismissal" if you try to express yourself in a "normal" way - like, no one will understand how important your feelings are to you. A need to scream and fight, when you've grown up thinking that kind of behavior is "unnacceptable" - especially for girls. A desire to control your world, so you don't have to feel like it controls you. A way to keep your secrets, and yet not be crushed by them. A way to record your worst feelings, so you won't forget they were there, but you also don't have to deal with them yet. A way to beat everyone else in the race to hurt you.

Safety Pin Girl

What other books/authors do you suggest people read if they enjoyed Crosses?

Shelley Stoehr

Francesca Lia Block, especially The Hanged Man and Girl Goddess #9; Hillary Carlip's Girl Power; Robert Corimer's Tenderness; An Unquiet Mind and Touched With Fire, both by Kay Redfield Jamison; and (I haven't read this one yet, but it's specifically about cutting, and I've heard it's good) A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain, by Marilee Strong.

Safety Pin Girl

Popular music figures prominently in all of your novels (in fact, in Tomorrow Wendy, one character speaks only in song lyrics). What are some of the bands and singers you enjoy listening to, and why?

Shelley Stoehr

Tori Amos. I have her song lyrics painted all over my "goddess-mobile" (my car).

Fleetwood Mac. My favorite song is "Never Going Back Again," on the Rumours CD.

They Might Be Giants. The lyrics make me laugh, the tunes make me dance.

Phil Ochs, and Peter, Paul, and Mary. I'll always be a hippie at heart I guess.

I also love scores from musicals, and my three favorite tapes are the soundtracks from RENT, Godspell, and Les Miserables. (Geeky maybe, but true.)

Safety Pin Girl

What advice would you give to girls (or anyone) who wants to write?

Shelley Stoehr

Write a lot, read a lot. Join a writer's group, or start your own - for support, inspiration, and to get out of your own head once in a while. Publish anywhere, in whatever venue you can find (in fact, if you write fiction, while you're waiting for your break, it's a good idea to write - and publish wherever you can - reviews of your favorite books, or ones that are most like your own writing. People tend to remember writers of reviews they agree with.) Listen carefully to your worst critics. If you're going to take suggestions from anyone that will make you a better writer, the best advice will probably come from people who think you're not good enough.

Safety Pin Girl

I think Crosses should be made into a movie. Any thoughts on that? Also, if it were made into a movie, and you could pick anyone you wanted to be in it, who would you pick to be Nancy, Katie, or Mike?

Shelley Stoehr

I actually wrote a screenplay adaptation of Crosses, and now, because of the recent media-interest in cutting, it is finally being tentatively considered for a movie (yay!). Now that you ask, here are my picks for the leads: Reese Witherspoon as Katie, definitely. The younger sister from Party of Five could be Nancy, and the guy who plays Corey on Boy Meets World would be a good Mike.