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Threads 26 to 50

If you ever need to talk...
Posted by Julie on Fri Aug 4 07:18:11 2000 (#66)

Hi, My name is Julie and I am a 42 yr old mom who is on a mission to help teens. My goal is to help teens from all over the world as I want to build a center for all teens to come to for free who need help. I would really like to help people who self injure and I have been educating myself on it. I know it is an addiction and that is one area I am familiar with. I am currently working with a doctor and we plan on making this a reality, it is not just a dream. If you would like to know more about what I am doing and who I am, go to my website and check it out. If you remember, please sign my guestbook so I know what your thoughts are. If you ever would like some free advice or just need to vent, feel free to email me anytime.

Love, Julie jflynn1@prodigy.net www.angelfire.com/mn2/illstand byyou

i dont know what to do
Posted by ehhh on Sun Aug 6 05:47:54 2000 (#67)

i tried to kill myself 5 years ago as a result both of my arms are covered in scars i had stopped talking to my sister shortly after the attempt (it was stupid and completely my fault) anyway she doesnt know about any of this so i have to wear long sleeves around her and i know she is suspicious i am afraid to tell her i wouldnt know how i dont know what to do i know ill have to tell her sometime but i am afraid of loseing her again ehhh i dont know i am just confused and rambling so dont mind me

Re: i dont know what to do
Posted by pc on Sat Sep 23 14:12:57 2000 (#103)

hi there, i was in your same positon last yr s you are now, well except i had told a friends about my cuts & she threatedned to tell one of the teachers at school if i did it again, well i did it again & again, but she found out & so i told her id tell the teacher, she told someoone else & then they called my mum to tell her what i did, the councellor also told her that i was suicidal, so that afternoon i had to face my mum, dad, sister & also having the whole family knwo & have to show everyone my arms, i thought when the teaacehr told me that she rang my mum, cos i had no idea of this, i thought id either kill her or me, i was terrified cos i have verystrict parents, but when after facing my mum, i felt very close to her, & she still loved me well until i did something stupid this yr anyway tell her, dont hold it off cos it will get worse for you & for her when she finds out, plus you dont want her finding out from someone else trust me. email me & ill tell you the full story. stay strong k

Re: i dont know what to do
Posted by Christine on Mon Aug 7 12:39:41 2000 (#68)

It's better to tell her and get it over w/ if she's your sister she will still love you .It would be better to tell her straight out then her see them and ask.Strike up a conversation the next time your w/ her and say something about your friend wanting to kill them selves and ask her if she ever wanted to then tell her about you .She's your sister she'll still love you .

Re: i dont know what to do
Posted by Alice on Mon Sep 4 10:10:58 2000 (#95)

Were you at my house recently? We have exactly the same situation except I'm the sister. I don't know your sister but I know I always hope my sister will come to me and even if we didn't speak for 5 years I'd still want her to talk to me. If she saved you she probably feels the same. Please write.

Re: i dont know what to do
Posted by Alice again on Mon Sep 4 10:14:45 2000 (#96)

I'm sorry, I read it wrong but I still think the same applies. It sounds like she doesn't know but I still think she'd be there for you and that might be exactly what you need. Write me.

STOP THE FEELINGS
Posted by STAR on Mon Aug 21 10:53:47 2000 (#70)

HI. I TRIED to o.d. a year ago. My boyfriend saved my life. He was great support. I understood why he did it, I was never mad at him for it. But sence day one I have wished he would have left me alone.At first something BIG had to happen before i started thinking of dieing. Now at least once a week, or more, I have the thought's. i want to know what I can try instead of dieing. I have tried "getting help" it didn't work. if anything it made it worse. please, if you know how to live through this...

HELP!!!!!!!!!! STAR

Re: STOP THE FEELINGS
Posted by Linda on Mon Aug 21 20:07:33 2000 (#71)

Star. PLEASE write to me!! Linda

Re: STOP THE FEELINGS
Posted by Lost on Tue Aug 22 23:13:24 2000 (#72)

Hi. I'm the same way. I od'd over a year ago (twice) and my friend shannon saved me. I was mad at her for a while but I also understood her reason for doing it. I don't know exactly what you can do to stop your feelings. the thing that helped me was getting away from everyone and everything for a long time (in my case i was in a hospital for 9 months). It was hard at the time and I thought it was the worst place to be... but when I look back at it now, I realize that it was the only thing that saved me. it made me step back and take a look at everything from an outsiders point of view since I was no longer around the situations which caused me to be suicidal. don't get me wrong, I still have suicidal thoughts ALL the time... but i just can't bring myself to do it. There is something that is keeping me from doing it and i don't know what it is. I guess you just have to find something and hold on. Maybe just hope for the future (sounds dumb). I guess if you kill yourself, than you let everyone who has hurt you win... you don't want to lose girl. I know you don't. Most people with suicidal thoughts don't REALLY want to die... they just want to stop the pain. You can e-mail me if you want :) I'm 17 (female) and I might be able to relate to you and maybe even help you out one day. Until then, keep your head up girl!!!

Lost

Re: STOP THE FEELINGS
Posted by Christine on Fri Sep 1 07:33:52 2000 (#87)

try talking to a friend or do something you enjoy like shopping or swimming I don't know any thing to get your mind off the thoughts write all the good things about your self on paper and hang it on your wall stay safe ande-mail me if you have the erge to do anything I'm here if yo uneed me

Re: STOP THE FEELINGS
Posted by Alice on Mon Sep 4 10:04:06 2000 (#94)

Please write. I'd like to share my thoughts. You sound a little like me--I just don't know how to snap out of it sometimes when everybody says " Just stop feeling sorry for yourself" Every days a constant struggle sometimes. but occassionally you get a glimpse of what actually feeling good is like-- it may only last 5 seconds but thats a start. It's not easy. There are no fix all cures. Talk to me.

can't do it much longer
Posted by dying on Wed Aug 23 06:55:16 2000 (#73)

any advice? i'm like, giving up here. but im really scared to go to hell... nobody really worries about me cuz they dont think its serious... i just hide it but God i dont think i can last much longer... i think about it so much... what can i do??? anyone really know how to deal with it? if so please reply, i could use the help.

Re: can't do it much longer
Posted by Christine on Fri Sep 1 07:07:05 2000 (#84)

the only thing I can think of is dont do it its not worth it you cant just give up if yo uwant to e-mail me you can just dont do anything you'll regret please e-mail me anytime

Re: can't do it much longer
Posted by Alice on Mon Sep 4 09:56:29 2000 (#93)

Never give up!!!! Do whatever you have to to get from moment to moment. Every situation is different. but if you're actually at the edge---- it cant get any worse. Please write I'd like to share my war stories and help if i can. (i wasn't actually in the war)

Re: can't do it much longer
Posted by dying on Thu Sep 7 06:36:00 2000 (#98)

well, good news, im probably going to go to a hospital kinda soon, my brother found out about everything and he's insisting on me getting real help and getting better, i just hope i don't have to wait too long to get help. thanks for the support

Re: can't do it much longer
Posted by scarlett on Sat Jan 6 08:40:34 2001 (#148)

I hope you have been receiving the kind of help you need and deserve, friend. I am the mother of a beautiful young woman of 24 who is going through the hell you were. She has been for many years but never this bad. I found this board becasue i am desparately seeking help for her and am grasping at straws. I applaude your brother for his intervention.: I pray it was in time. Suicide is such a permanent solution to a temporary situation, even though it doesnt look temporary from you are sitting, i'm sure.

Good luck...scarlett

depression chat room
Posted by anon. on Wed Aug 23 07:14:15 2000 (#74)

hey everyone who is going through the same shit i am... someone wrote that they wished there was a chat room so i created one called depression support its a private chat so u will have to type that name when u go to find a chat. i just made it so theres no one in there but i hope that after a while people will start going there and are able to get help from fellow sufferers. please try it. tell me what u think

Re: depression chat room
Posted by scarlett on Sat Jan 6 08:45:05 2001 (#149)

I just found this site and saw your message on the board. If you are having success with your chat board, message me and I will send my daughter there. She is in the middle of hell and we are seeking ANYTHIGN that can help her

thanks..good luck and stay strong...scarlett

parents are blind
Posted by chris* on Wed Aug 23 07:30:39 2000 (#76)

hi everyone... i just wanted to know if anyone knew how to wake parents up. my mom is in denial though i told her that i was depressed she still thinks its anxiety from school or some bullshit. no matter how much i tell her, she still believes what she wants to. it sucks because she doesnt know what i really am going through because she doesnt believe it... what can i do? im really on a ledge here and i need help bad but my mom just doesnt understand... what do i do??

Re: parents are blind
Posted by kate on Fri Jan 18 18:15:35 2002 (#1124)

my parents are also blind its so obvious i am not happy at all, im an alcoholic and i start drinking at about 9.00a.m. each day...my mumj only ever sees things from her point of view - because i have friends, am middle class, have everythign i want and am quite intelligent it means that obviously i am happy - NO! shes so unpredictable and irrational, so selfish, i know shed just do the whole 'im a bad mum thing' ... thats so selfish.....so if you tell them anything they immeduiatly make you feel worse -- HELPING!!!!!!!!

parents suck -- can't you go to the doctors on your own if you need help?? ... how old r u?? if you ever need to talk just email me

Re: parents are blind
Posted by Henny on Sun Aug 27 06:18:48 2000 (#78)

that is soo true!! my parents dn't understant at all.. so i always keep my mouth shut when something happen! they said i had the wrong friends.. but they don't know how much i get depress.. they pushes me too hard in school! They don't know anything about me.. so.. i can't really help! but i need help anyway!!!!!!!!

Re: parents are blind
Posted by chris* on Wed Aug 30 05:58:57 2000 (#80)

hey Henny... thanks for the reply, sorry ur in the same position im in though. i guess maybe ur gonna have to just tell them straight up how ur feeling. i dont feel like i can do this cuz im trying to protect my mom, u know?

Re: parents are blind
Posted by blue rose on Wed Aug 30 06:50:11 2000 (#82)

My parents are blind too. I told my mom i was diagnosed as bipolar and she said I just have PMS. Talk about bullshit. I wish I could help you, but I can't even help myself. If I ever figure out how to make them see, I'll let you know.

Re:parents are blind
Posted by kristina (also chris*) on Thu Aug 31 04:24:37 2000 (#83)

ugh, dont u just hate that?? my mom's all like... yeah, its just teenage stuff and i know u dont want to hear that but it's true... grrrrrr

Re:parents are blind
Posted by Christine on Fri Sep 1 07:21:09 2000 (#85)

My parent were like that the first time I tried to kill myself my mom siad I was under stress and that I just needed to go home and she would take care of me she said I just needed her then the cutting started I hid it and I tried to tell her how I was feeling I ended up breaking down in the principals offic and he got me help he sent me to a hospital after convincing my mom I had a problem i'v been cutting for years and my mom is still in denile parents cant face that there child has such a strange disease but its still a disease and it need to be treated tell your parents you need help and if they don't help you get it your self the feeling only get worse if you don't get help so if not for no anyone but your self get help

Re:parents are blind
Posted by kristina on Fri Sep 1 07:57:45 2000 (#88)

did the hospital time help? ive been thinking about that lately. i dont know, sometimes i dont know if im safe from myself. i thought maybe some hospital time where im away from it all and under observation and around other people with problems would help me through... is it a good idea?

Re:parents are blind
Posted by lost on Fri Sep 1 22:13:43 2000 (#89)

i think its a really good idea... if you WANT to be there... it can help a lot... but you have to remember that its not gonna all of a sudden happen... you have to help yourself while you're in there.

Re:parents are blind
Posted by Christine on Sat Sep 2 04:27:52 2000 (#90)

I think its a good idea but you really have to want to get help like lost said it can help alot but you have to want to be there and you have to put alot of effort into it to get past it and after there are feelings and you can learn how to deal w/ them you can talk to me if you want e-mail me anytime I love getting mail I feel loved so if you want to talk to me you can I'll always write back .good luck I think its wise for you to try to get help .HIP HIP HA RAYYY!!!!!!!!!

Re:parents are blind
Posted by ALICE on Mon Sep 4 09:40:40 2000 (#91)

please write id love to talk my whole family suffers from depression

Re: parents are blind
Posted by Alice on Mon Sep 4 09:50:10 2000 (#92)

HEY BEEN THERE DONE THAT STILL THERE. KEEP HANGING ON THAT LEDGE!!!! PLEASE WRITE. I'D LOVE TO SHARE MY STORIES AND HELP IF I CAN. MY WHOLE FAMILY SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION AND SOMETIMES IT SEEMS LIKE THERES NO ONE IN THE WORLD TO TALK TO ABOUT IT. SOMETIMES PARENTS SEEM TO IGNORE IT BECAUSE THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO HELP -- IT DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT WANT TO. WRITE BACK

Re: parents are blind
Posted by kristina on Tue Sep 5 04:27:40 2000 (#97)

heya... thanks for the encouragement, im really thinkin about it, i jsut dont know how to approach my mom... any ideas?

Re: parents are blind
Posted by scarlett on Sat Jan 6 09:14:10 2001 (#151)

Young people, I am a parent and I cry for you all. If a parent wont see beyond their own fears, go to a school counselor, or princial, or even a religious leader in your church/community. No one wants you to hurt, but parents are sometimes too close to the problem or they have their own problems and can't even help themselves...it is sad but a fact. Don't give up til you have found SOMEONE to get you the help you need.

And before you would do anything really stupid, call 1-800-suicide. TALK......

Good luck and don't give up////

killing him
Posted by mal on Mon Aug 28 04:54:13 2000 (#79)

I was at my grandmothers funaral, and all I could think about was killing the piest, and his blood all over my hands, is this normal, help me

Re: killing him
Posted by Micha'el on Wed Oct 4 22:27:07 2000 (#105)

i felt like killing the priest at my father's funeral, but i do write theology, and better theology than the rubbish Christianity and Judaism can throw at us! Sorry, I studied the Bible all my life, and I know both religions are wrong!

Re: killing him
Posted by *star* on Tue Aug 21 10:34:59 2001 (#772)

Hmm, i have to say i dont think *Christianity* is rubbish, everyone should be allowed there own beliefs surely? . (*)

Re: killing him
Posted by Christine on Fri Sep 1 07:26:05 2000 (#86)

dont take this the wrong way but its not normal not to offend you only to help I think you really need help do you have a therapist if so tell them about these thoughts and ask them for there madical oppinion its beter then mine if you wan tto talk you can e-mail me I'll be willing to help if you'd like

???
Posted by Ashley on Mon Sep 18 09:11:47 2000 (#99)

I am 15 yrs.old, I have been cutting and burning myself since I was 13. I have thought about suicide some, I don't know if I would ever do it. I would like some advice, cuz I am afraid that I will lose control of myself and do something that I will regret. I have been going to counclers since I was 9, i have already, been to the hospital, been on 3 or 4 different anti-deppressants. Nothing helps! The cutting has gotton worse, the most recent ones needed stitches, I have gotton to were I injure myself in other ways.I have put my head through windows.Put cigarrettes out on my arms and stomach, I have smashed my head into mirrors. I cannot control my actions when I get upset, I can't deal with problems, that I should beable to deal with. I have thought about suicide alot, and tried to go through with it but lost the courage. I have tried overdosing on medicine. I don't want to die or to kill myself, but when I get upset, it is like I am in another world, I don't know what I'm doing, I can't stop myself, and I am afraid that something bad will happen, and I will lose it, and end up killing myself, or hurting myself badly. i have no control over myself. I need some help, I don't know what to do, nothing seems to ever help, not pills, or counclers. Or hospitals. I feel like I have tried everything to help myself. If anyone has got any advice please w/b

Suicide, cutting, depression...
Posted by Julianne on Mon Sep 18 19:57:04 2000 (#100)

I've been cutting since the first time i saw it on my friends arm, which was October of last year. Ever since then, i have been getting worse, cutting deeper and deeper and much more. Then i found out about over dosing on aspirin...first time i tried that i took ten....it just made me feel really tired and sorta lost. after i did it i promised i would never do it again...then around august of this year i took 30 aspirin and had to go to the hospital...i had to stay there overnight. All i really remember is being called selfish a lot of times and having to drink some kind of charcoal stuff...which litterally tasted like mud. They were doing to keep me at the hospital longer to make sure and didn't try to kill myself again...but they decided that i didn't need to. After that everything jsut went downhill...not that before it went uphill...it had always been going downhill...but it just plunged into the ground and has been. About two weeks after i tried again..taking 8 Midol..since everything else was hidden...that gave me a really bad stomach ache. Then my mom found out about that one also. I've had a psychologist for about two or three months but now i can't see her anymore 'cause my mom wants to try some other kind of thing...i don't want to do it though...i hated and still do, the fact that i had to leave my psychologist...maybe she wasn't helping me then....but healing from something like this takes a while...and my mom doesn't understand that. I'd try again but i don't know what to do...i'm not going to slit my rists because i just would rather not but i don't know...i'm just lost, confused, and sad, mad, and other things. I haven't been to school for the past two weeks because for one i don't want to go and another i can't concentrate. i need help but i don't know which way to go and how to do it. I'd rather not have to deal with God and how he can "help me" or whatever because right now i'm not really ready for any spiritual help. I just need help...i could try any...just anything..to clear my mind, help me get through this, and help me get past this pause in life.

Re: Suicide, cutting, depression...
Posted by pri on Sat Sep 23 14:01:56 2000 (#101)

hi i stared cutting myself to last december & havent stopped, but i do itnow for differnt reasons. email me, cos i got help &still get it & it does help, id rather not expose it here but email me & ill tell you . you can get help cos i idid

Re: Suicide, cutting, depression...
Posted by pri on Sat Sep 23 14:03:28 2000 (#102)

heres the right address

just cuz...
Posted by Christine on Wed Oct 4 08:59:36 2000 (#104)

its been a while and I just wanted to see if you guys were doing better then me cuz I'm doing pretty shity.I also wanted to see how Mal was doing ok bye

Re: just cuz...
Posted by joseph on Mon Oct 9 08:44:31 2000 (#106)

We all have very bad days but when they all link together it is time to check. I am happy now ,bills paid,will made out. Ihad my days in the sun.Goodbye

J.J.

Re: just cuz...
Posted by lost on Thu Oct 12 01:20:36 2000 (#107)

PLEASE e-mail me. don't go through with it! I've been there... lots of times. don't do it PLEASE.

help w/project
Posted by christina on Wed Oct 18 01:38:27 2000 (#108)

I am doing a project on suicide so any stories or advice will help e-mail me please

Re: help w/project
Posted by MICHELE on Fri Nov 3 00:17:16 2000 (#112)

CHRISTINA....I AM IN A SUICIDE PREVENTION GROUP AT SCHOOL AND IF YOU GET ANY GOOD INFO...COULD YOU PLEASE EMAIL ME AT BUTTERCUP2183@YAHOO.COM...THAN KS ALOT! AND GOOD LUCK ITS A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION!

I care!
Posted by MICHELE on Fri Nov 3 00:14:17 2000 (#111)

THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT CARE... BEFORE RECIEVING HELP YOU MUST HELP YOUR SELF!

Re: I care!
Posted by Christine on Sat Nov 4 04:37:09 2000 (#113)

I never really new how true that was till the other day.I'm a 15 year old cutter and I was thinking of suicide and I talked to my friend.He told me how important it is to stop cutting and what ever he could do he would but we came to the conclusion I needed to help myself first.And all the time I was looking for someone to love me I should of been learning to love myself.Its sometimes Important to think of yourself first.

Friend
Posted by whitney on Wed Nov 8 08:57:29 2000 (#114)

my friend killed himself recently. i just found out 15 minutes ago. i am a self mutilator, and he has talked me out of suicide so many times i can't count. i don't know what to do. it's not fair that he gets out! why....i don't understand this...why....someone, if you're on now, talk to me please....

*Love Me*
Posted by Lindsey on Thu Nov 9 19:31:51 2000 (#115)

Hi you guys...I guess that I really need to get involved with something right now b/c if I am not careful I may end up cutting myself or killing myself...I want to know you...Talk to me. Love for as long as it lasts... Lindsey.

Re: *Love Me*
Posted by Lost on Thu Nov 9 20:24:54 2000 (#116)

Whats up girlie? Hey I'd be glad to get to know you... and as a matter of fact... I think that I'm in the same situation you are. I don't know how long I can hold on to this life. Well how old are you and all that stuff? You can e-mail me whenever if you need to talk... I'm 17/f/cali... been through a lot of shit :) My aol SN is KaleenaKrackHead (Ok I know its a ghetto name...) so TALK TO ME :) love ya girlie!

Re: *Love Me*
Posted by Roni on Wed Dec 20 07:56:24 2000 (#136)

I feel the same. Read my message and respond ASAP. Time is running out. Love me and I'll give you the world. Love is all we need

Re: *Love Me*
Posted by Stagger Lee on Thu Jan 11 18:35:41 2001 (#160)

Post more I would like to here more about your situation now that you have me curious or you can always email me.

Help.. please?
Posted by zoey on Tue Nov 14 02:45:00 2000 (#117)

I know that everyone that reads this is just going to think it's a phase, or tell me to rethink what im saying, or that it will get better.. but I need HELP. I'm so scared an dI don't know what to do. It's my third time going through this, and this time I'm very close to going through with letting myself go.. I don't have anyone that I can talk to that will even semi-understand.. please someone help.. I just need help.. that's all I'm asking..

Re: Help.. please?
Posted by Christine on Tue Nov 14 03:06:43 2000 (#118)

I dont really have an e-mail address I share w/ my mom.but I come here every day and check the posts.I dont really know what is wrong but if you wanna talk you can post or my sn is GODESSE1357 I'm on every nite around 10 on tues.and thurs.but inbetween 7 and 10 the rest of the week. *~HUGS~* talk to me any time u need to

Re: Help.. please?
Posted by miara on Sun Nov 19 04:32:14 2000 (#121)

I know what you're going through and it's the fartherest thing from a phase, it'll last forever until you rid yourself of it and how you do that i have not the slightest fucking clue.

What do I do?
Posted by Christine on Wed Nov 15 04:50:52 2000 (#119)

I want so badly to die I want my sad existence to come to a halt.I dont want to deal w/ the world and The deppression is so bad I can bearly push myself threw the day.Today I couldnt even get out of bed.Lying there I just wished I could disaper.Can't I just die.I wish I'd get some sickness and just die.Its to hard on other people when someone kills themselfs.Let Me Die PLEASE!!!

Re: What do I do?
Posted by Miara on Sun Nov 19 04:30:03 2000 (#120)

I know how it feels I feel that way too. I am 17 from NC. I'm on a home visit from a phych hospital. I just wish I would die and I can't because I believe in God. If God would let me die that would be so great. I feel for you, I'm the ugliest person I know and I fucking hate it there's nothing in this fucking world that's worth a damn thing. happiness is ignorance. if anyone thinks i'm having a pity party then FUCK YOU! i wake up every morning hoping it's my last and i just hate this damn world and all its prejudice and hipocrisy. i want help so bad, but who the fuck should waste their time.

i want to sleep
Posted by Miara on Sun Nov 19 04:36:52 2000 (#122)

I can't take the bullshit no more. it's eating at my soul. it's cool reading about other people like this because then you feel like you ain't the only one who's sick of all the bullshit. i just want to blow myself away. my dad's got a gun. i'm not taking any more overdoses next time i'm swallowing a bullet. someone please reply i'm so lonely and i need help so bad, but what the fuck is help? please i'm so lonely i'm a-fucking-dicted to self injury i've been hospitalized 7 times, it just sucks so bad. are happy people happy or merely ignorant. please someone correspond with me. miara-17-nc

Re: i want to sleep
Posted by Jes on Mon Nov 20 20:55:24 2000 (#123)

I know how you feel, This is actualy the first time I've talked about how I felt to anyone. I've battled depression for a long time but its never overwhelmed me like this. I don't have anyone to talk to, they all tell me things will get better nd to snap out of it. But they don't get better it only gets worse, getting out of bed is a feat I have no desire to work. This weekend I was pretty fucked up and it made so much sense I wanted to go to sleep and not think anymore I'm so tired of thinking. If Ido it a nice OD would be perfect. I'm living with a manic depressive boyfriend who keeps dumping me and playing with my heart, he just dumped me on our six month anniversary. I have to take care of him and yet I feel so invisible. I don't know what to do. He stopped me on friday from leaving I think he knew what I wanted to do but.. I wish I had gone through with it. Sleep sounds so good I feel empty and tired of life...... If you want email me an maybe we can help eachother any others who can help would be appreciated I know I need to go to a doctor but I don't have insurance and don't know how to go about gettibg help.

Jes

Re: i want to sleep
Posted by Roni on Wed Dec 20 08:06:54 2000 (#138)

I know the feeling of wanting to sleep and never wake up. I've been hospitalized 9 or 10 times in the past six years. I have more scars than I can count all over my body from self mutilation. I have posted a message so maybe you could read it and respond if interested. Love roni

A Quote...
Posted by Christine on Tue Nov 21 04:31:27 2000 (#124)

"One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." I realizied how much that applied to my life I also realized things can only get so bad.

Re: A Quote...
Posted by Jes on Tue Nov 21 22:05:29 2000 (#126)

So bad..... For things seem to only get much worse..... Is there a spot were bad things eventually stop ? Is there a breaking point ? Or is it when pycosis finally hits?

I am a music fan and live and breath music so:
Posted by Stagger Lee on Thu Jan 11 17:27:06 2001 (#159)

I used to feel the same way about "The Who" lyrics: I had enough of living I had enough dying I had enough of caring I had enough of crying I finished with the fashions and acting like I'm tough I'm bored with hate and anger I've had enough of crying love

And the Roger Waters lyrics:

I held the blade in trembling hands prepared to make it but Just then the phone wrang I never had the nerve to make the final cut.

I use to feel and still do feel that these lyrics pretty much summed up how I was feeling so I think I can kind of relate with your feelings towards that quote.

Long Time
Posted by Christine on Thu Nov 30 12:19:10 2000 (#127)

Sorry I havent been here in such a long time.I normally post on the Self Injury board.I really want to die.Things are to hard to deal w/ and I dont really want to deal w/ them.I dunno,but the cuttings getting worse.Almost every day.If not 2 to 3 times a day.I was doing so good I just couldn't fight the erges anymore well I have to go bye

Re: Long Time
Posted by jessica on Mon Dec 4 20:07:05 2000 (#128)

christine, sorry things are bad. you're not alone, i just went in my dad's room and pointed his gun at my head. the only thing keepin me from doingg it is my belief in God. yo quiero a morir. i used to cut 2 and 3 times a day before i had to go to the psyciatric hosp. i'm on home visit now. i cut chunks or my skin out with a toe nail clipper last night, on my hand. don't ever feel alone. there are many many others just like you. i wish i knew what to do myself, so i could tell you, but i don't. jessica 17/f/nc

Re: Jessica.
Posted by Lost on Mon Dec 4 22:01:34 2000 (#129)

you sound like me. I've done the same thing with the gun... but it wasn't god that stopped me... I was also in a hospital and got to go home on weekends... I would always lock myself in the bathroom of the hospital place (there were bathrooms in our rooms) and just cut and slice away all over myself.... I'm also 17/f. e-mail me...

Re: Long Time
Posted by Christine on Wed Dec 6 05:07:23 2000 (#130)

I dont think anyone knows the answers to life so I have to make my own path and I'm back traking to find were to go but there are so many obsticles I cant seem to find a way around them I'm really tired so I'm gonna go bye 16/f/NJ

Blank
Posted by Lucy on Wed Dec 20 00:53:24 2000 (#134)

I found out my friiend had killed himslef at the weekend yesterday. It was becuase of stress. He did one year of A-level Chemistry, and then another because he failed it, and then in September he joined some harsh programme that crams a two year course into one! His girlfriend said that it was stressfull about 2 months before he did it and he was 18/19 I'm not sure. He knew what he was doing thought, he knew that he wanted to go and he probably chose this week to get at his mother because she was never around with a £250,000 a year management consultency thing. This timed death means she will always be reminded of him at christmas.

I care
Posted by Laurie on Mon Dec 11 16:00:23 2000 (#131)

Im sitting here trying to do a report, looking for personal experiences on suicide and came across this board. It's absolutely amazing, I myself have always been a "depressed" person. Thoughts of suicide effect me nearly everyday. It feels so good knowing that there are so many people out there that feel the hopelessness and confusion. Right now im smack in the middle of a severe eating disorder, I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel on this one. Twice a day I vomit my guts up and have just enough energy to lie in bed and feel my insides ache with nausia. From the moment i wake up im battling this monster and everyday i lose, its killing my soul and its killing my spirit. I was completely touched by everyone's message on the board and just want people to know that your not alone! We all need to help each other out no matter how bad our situations are. If you can be a friend to one person who is lonely it makes all the difference in the world. I would love to hear from any of you who are truely feeling alone. ~Remy0Girl@aol.com

Time
Posted by Doris on Wed Dec 13 04:58:55 2000 (#132)

Time

The clock turns. The soul fades. The blood flows. The heart slows.

Longing for it, Waiting for it. Looking around every corner for something to end this joke.

It’s not fair. To keep me here is a joke. Erase me from this world. And free me from the weights on my back.

With each hour that turns, I drown lower and lower. So low that I can no longer see ahead of me.

My eyes are clouded. My perception muted. I am dying. I am dead.

Desperatly seeking love and acceptance: FINAL PLEA
Posted by Roni on Wed Dec 20 07:53:16 2000 (#135)

I have never felt loved by anybody. I need someone to love who will love me back. I stay alive only to mutilate my body to show the world my pain. I want a girl to love. I want to have a lover in my bed who understands me. Someone who will hold me and let me cry. I can't hold on much longer. Any bisexual/lesbian girls who need love respond immediatly. I can feel the time running out. THIS IS MY FINAL PLEA FOR HELP! Please don't ignore me! More info. about me will come with a response. Please.....

Re: Desperatly seeking love and acceptance: FINAL
Posted by AJ on Wed Jan 24 19:06:23 2001 (#168)

i have felt like that befor and i know how much it hurts inside. i have never been truly happy and i dont ever expect to be but i live only for the hope that maybe i will find love and happiness some where. the eternal seach goes on, seeking what i may never find is part of my life, but i wish it wasnt, all i want is for it to end. just know this i care.

AJ

Re: Desperatly seeking love and acceptance: FINAL
Posted by Samantha on Thu Mar 21 00:15:29 2002 (#1243)

Hi. I want to know you. my AOL name is Pimpettea please message me. This goes for anyone

things changed
Posted by iain on Wed Dec 20 09:27:28 2000 (#139)

Hello,

I wrote a really embarrassing personal story on suicide a few years back when i was freaking out and on a wide range of drugs. I exaggerated a lot but at the time i really was trying to commit suicide daily, i even took driving lessons and bought a car to try and gas myself (pre-94, with no Cat, but the engine kept cutting out cos it was so old).

anyway, i'm trying to get that story taken off this site and replaced with a new one. Because things have been gettign a little better.

Basically i stuck with the writing and i've won a competition or two and got a book deal. Noit much money, but it's a step. I hope to become the new JD Salinger (living like a recluse).

Anyway, other than this, i won't patronise you into not trying to kill yourself. If you do it, good luck, death is nothing to be frightened of. It's what might go wrong that scares the shit out of me.

Good luck,

Iain

confessions
Posted by Doris on Thu Dec 21 05:18:44 2000 (#140)

This is a poem I wrote for my parents. I recently confessed to them about my suicidal thoughts and attempts.

I need to tell you that I've been living a lie. When I tell you I want to cry I really want to die. How did this life get so lonely and hard? I cannot believe I have made it this far. Why is today so much closer to yesterday than tomorrow? Why is a reason for living not something you can borrow? I've been here for you, not me, all the while. I look at the blood seeping from my vein and I smile.

ALRIGHT!!!!
Posted by Cheze2 on Fri Dec 29 23:35:49 2000 (#143)

HEY! as u might possibly know i am alseo in the self injury board, and i am here to now! so HI!!! and talk to me cause i'm bored! :) have fun!

-ME-