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Threads 1351 to 1400

A new poem. (when dark turns to light)
Posted by Falling Hawk on Sat Mar 24 00:09:13 2001 (#5037)

No more will I cry, watching you say good by, as a tear fills my eye, I promise I will not cry. No more can I hug you, not even in this moment adue, not even I trying not to cry. Starting at you I know you want to cry to, as I look away , I just want you to stay. Who are these people I see which stand before me, they know not you nor me. Hardley can they see they make a mistake before me. It should not be you who bids adu. But they have no doubt and could never know about the love that we share, that will always be there. Forever in my heart you will always be, as you stand before me, a man of true honestey. Their is no doubt before me, as all can glance and see, that you who leave, can not be. As our familey arise, a tear fills my eye. Grasping the tissue in hand, there I will stand. Glaring at the door, for you are there no more. Paralyzed from the plea, now waiting as you see, to through my arms around the, wanting no more.

Love For Light~ Shadow

Re: A new poem. (when dark turns to light)
Posted by Jill on Sat Mar 24 22:41:07 2001 (#5057)

Shadow,

That was a really good poem. You a knack for writing poems. Continue to keep on writing.

Jill

Falling Lower then low
Posted by Falling Hawk on Sat Mar 24 00:30:36 2001 (#5038)

I keep getting this gut feeling that i want to die. no one can help me, i'm 2 far gone. i'm pushing my enemies away and my friends Who knows where. i just dont wanna talk to anyone... i dont wanna eat, i dont wanna sleep i dont wanna breath, i dont wanna be hear. i lied to Chris and told her i was getting better. i think the acid was playing with my brain. i'm not good, i never will be EVER again. that is while i am still alive

Love for light~ Shadow

Re: Falling Lower then low
Posted by black rose on Sat Mar 24 03:34:58 2001 (#5040)

if u need ne help or ne 1 to talk to please call me...I'm always here...I know what ur going thru! I cant help u if u wont let me...please let me! please call me! Christine

Re: Falling Lower then low
Posted by sarh on Wed Mar 28 07:32:57 2001 (#5224)

hey i know kinda how you feel. I always feel that gut feeling of wanting to die and I've started to push people away. IM me at sarahmxpxfan if you want to talk : )

I would like to help...but I feel alone too!!!! RE
Posted by Nuni on Sat Mar 24 01:52:16 2001 (#5039)

To all, I once came here like you all, at first looking on and then venturing in by pouring my feelings. I am 27 years old and I started cutting when I was 14..so off and on I have lived this way. I am going through therapy now, and have gone without cutting for almost three months. I want all of you to know that this place did help me, and I was here when CANADA was created. A lot of those who posted here have moved on but I would like to share the house. IT has many rooms, and many memories. Everyone is welocome and the way it works is you must invite someone along to guide you there. You bring your favorite person, thing, music whatever you like and it is with you. There you will be safe, and there no one will judge you. I have been there, the pain, the shame and the guilt. The aftermath after self-injury. BE safe, I am here for you when and if you need me. HUGS!! Nuni p.s. my IM name is TurtlesCor

drip...drip...drip...
Posted by black rose on Sat Mar 24 03:42:01 2001 (#5041)

I need someone to talk to right now...but no ones on...if someone reads this message please post, IM me, or e-mail me! my legs are bleeding right now but I put the razorblade down...I want soo much to pick it up and start cutting again...everyone was right calling me slice and dice...I cant help myself! PLEASE someone talk to me...I need it soo bad right now! Christine

Re: drip...drip...drip...
Posted by slash on Sat Mar 24 03:54:33 2001 (#5042)

thats cool you can admit you need help i dont think i need help i hate human beings all they ever do is hurt me so badly yeah pple call me slash and i sign all my letters well everything with slice and dice 4ever if you ever need anyone to talk to im here for any fellow depressed or mutilter anytime my s/n is jondavisisgod123 so im me bloody hugs slash

i quit, but can i keep it up?
Posted by sarah on Sat Mar 24 07:22:37 2001 (#5046)

Hey people, well I'm back to the message board. I quit cutting for about three weeks now! I don't know what to think of it. I mean I miss it and sometimes I just long to do it and I'm really scared I will become desperate and just do it and break this long three week span of healing. Give me stregnth please : /

Re: i quit, but can i keep it up?
Posted by slash on Sat Mar 24 07:48:00 2001 (#5047)

im not good at it i dont understand why sumone would want to stop cutting but its different for me then anyone else:sobs: but good luck and im proud of u alot of willpower bloody hugs slash

Re: i quit, but can i keep it up?
Posted by Doris on Sat Mar 24 19:30:07 2001 (#5049)

I have quit for three MONTHS! You have the strength! Please, PLEASE keep it up! We're all rooting for you! God speed.

Doris

Re: i quit, but can i keep it up?
Posted by a.z. on Mon Mar 26 07:56:35 2001 (#5095)

good for you! and no matter what happens, nothing can ever take away these weeks of healing you have had...all that work and energy is yours forever! keep doing what works, and like someone else said, don't get too isolated. a.z.

?
Posted by black rose on Sat Mar 24 18:23:09 2001 (#5048)

all I can see right now is the blood dripping from my body and a bloody razor in my hands, all I can feel right now is my blood running from me and the sweet razor kisses, all I know is I dont want to live but theres something telling me I should, all I want to do right now is fall asleep and never wake up, why is this happening to me?

Re: ?
Posted by Doris on Sat Mar 24 19:31:42 2001 (#5050)

Chris,

I'm so sorry I haven't been around. Be strong. I love you. Email you soon. God speed.

Doris

Re: ?
Posted by slash on Sat Mar 24 20:14:16 2001 (#5051)

i ask meyself the same fucking question everyday...i will never know not even on the blissful day of my death will i know i dont think anyways its just the way it is :sobs: i hate feelig shitty all the time everyone telling me how negitive i am ..grr i fucking hate that....and then how i cry 24-7 litterally but we have things like well i have things like my razor pain and korn to help me get through all this fuckign hell hope u do too good luck with everything bloody hugs n kiss's;p-muahhhh- slash

Fuck you bitch
Posted by Falling hawk on Sat Mar 24 21:10:05 2001 (#5052)

AND THIS IS WHAT THE ONE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME SAID

Flamezangel: ther u go okay i never told him who the fuck it was now bite me Shadowhawk12088: sorry i dont take your hobbies Flamezangel: ooooooooooo Flamezangel: no darlin i got it frum u! Shadowhawk12088: im not the one out there who bites everyone and screws everythin that walks Flamezangel: u told me go talk to him tell him this tell him that Flamezangel: o yes since if i hadn't been raped i would have been a virgin then u shouldn't b talkin Flamezangel: sandra/ nicole Shadowhawk12088: yeah me to Flamezangel: so don't be talkin about me screwin everything walkin Flamezangel: ever since i met u all i been tryin to do was help u Shadowhawk12088: the last person who said that where is she now oh she is in hell Shadowhawk12088: she was lying to me Shadowhawk12088: everything she said Shadowhawk12088: a lie Flamezangel: u talked to my mom..... okay? i gave u my number told u u could call me if u needed a person to talk to Flamezangel: any time u needed me okay? Flamezangel: even at 3 am Shadowhawk12088: she gave me her # 2 Flamezangel: i told u call me Flamezangel: yea that little girl whatveer?

I did it Again
Posted by Falling hawk on Sat Mar 24 21:14:13 2001 (#5053)

THe apills aare yummuy I'm Fucked up on them, all because of someone with the aiam name FLAMEZANGLE sdhe said it doisnr makker if i die. hehe well is';lll show you . i'll show yoiu how fun i rea;;y is to die. yioull see

When all turned black
Posted by Falling Hawk on Sat Mar 24 22:17:44 2001 (#5055)

the first time i took the gun and shot my side it was like...wow what the fuck did i just do i mean look at all this blood. after a while i started to feel really dizzy. the blood is everywhere i had a hole in my side and i'm still there. but after a while i can remember EVERYTHING going black. i could feel pain, and fear. i could hear the worried voices of family.. then Nothing. it was all quiet. couldent feel anything. then i got this rushing feeling. i felt like i was flying, i was going at breakneck speed. then all of a sudden, nothing. The i see a light. it was so bright i had to shade my eyes. but hearing voices calling to me. begging me to come back made me turn around. then i got that feeling of flying, i closed my eyes, i felt free. i opened my eyes and looked up at the people who live with me. the people who love me. i guess thats why i havent tried to kill myself for a while...

Love For Light~~~Shadow

Re: When all turned black
Posted by Jill on Sat Mar 24 22:24:01 2001 (#5056)

Hi Shadow,

That was excellent. I'm glad that you decided that there are people who care about you and would hate if it if you were to leave. Keep your head up and remember that there's nothing worse than death.

Jill

Re: When all turned black
Posted by Alana on Sat Mar 24 23:17:13 2001 (#5058)

Did you actually shoot yourself?

this place is weird
Posted by Alana on Sat Mar 24 23:19:38 2001 (#5059)

This place is really sad now. I don't know what to say about it. When I came here it was a nice place to come when feeling bad. But now, all I read is things that are disturbing and make me sick to my stomach. SOme of the things written here are just so negative, I can't stand to come back. Nope, not ever again. Something has happened here, and I really don't want to be a part of it.

Nice knowing you all, please be safe, Alana

Re: this place is weird
Posted by Falling Hawk on Sun Mar 25 00:58:06 2001 (#5065)

No you cant leave. it alllll gor saf whem i vame aroums many i shouls just go. sieey for all tjhe trouble i xauzed It is fr tje best

Love and Light~~~~~~shadow

I'm Back
Posted by Jess on Sat Mar 24 23:35:20 2001 (#5060)

Hey people,

I'm back again.Sorry for before i let things get on top of me and flipped.I'm loads better now.What happened to all the people i know and love?It isn't that bad is it?throw some of your problems at me i'm ready to listen and help. Where r u guys that i know?

Jess

Falling Hawk
Posted by nobody on Sun Mar 25 00:07:13 2001 (#5062)

Could somebody please contact her..Phone her or something? I think she had some pills and vodka...

Re: Falling Hawk
Posted by Falling Hawk on Sun Mar 25 00:52:34 2001 (#5064)

r u my ssstalke ronly 2 people kmnew abosut that. I';m ssxcared of you nSPow Someine wroite tom e Please!

Rowk Star Angle

Suicide
Posted by Fran on Sun Mar 25 14:08:39 2001 (#5067)

Hate you so much, look at you Fran, Hate you so much...you don't deserve to live, not ever not ever.

I really am so sorry I haven't been around to read all your posts you don't know how much I want to. Mt parents won't let me use the internet anymore, because they say it's the only reason I have a problem thats it's only about what I read. Doesn't matter about all the physical abuse that went on...no it has nothing to do with them, my problem is my fault. So I want you to know that I'm so sorry I haven't been able to read your posts. YOu don't know how much I care about you people. My parents THREW ME OUT THIS MORNING, with everything. They said it's all my own doing this madness, I don't have anywhere to go, I'm 18 soon and I have my important exams. I'm so unhappy, I keep crying , this morning when they were throwing out my stuff. I TRIED TO SLIT MY THROAT, but it didn't work because the blade was to blunt. But that time I meant it, it wasn't fantasy anymore, I had the blade to my throat I have cuts and scratches there. I wanted it to happen SO MUCH. What am I going to do. I went to the pub last night, there was this amzing haunting Irish band playing, I got really drunk, my friend has some skunk on her and I had loads of that, and I was puking all night, and now I feel sick but I have no fooodto be sick on. I can't eat because I've lost any appetite I have.

I'm SO SORRY I DON@T WHAT TO DO? I'm scared of what I might do to myself, I've lost control because the tears are coming. I love you all Laura, DB, Kate, Sarah, Helen, Strider, and allof you. and I'm so sorry if it ends like this but like Laura Rose once said, sometimes you just can't make it everyone has their breaking point.....

Re: Suicide
Posted by Jess on Sun Mar 25 15:45:13 2001 (#5068)

oh darlin.Everything gets worse before it gets better.Please dont kill yourself.Your so needed in this world.I love you franny babe. If i could help i would.Keep your head held high.Think of the future.You'll look back on this and find what an experiance it was.Not a good one but it was something.Your parents are wrong.I know that and so do you.Don't listen cos they don't understand. *i'm sending you some of my own glitter with a big hug* Jess

Re: Suicide
Posted by black rose on Sun Mar 25 23:13:20 2001 (#5077)

Fran please dont do ne thing like slitting ur throat...Jess is right...it gets worse before it gets better...please e-mail me or IM me if U need to talk! Christine

Leave me
Posted by fran on Sun Mar 25 18:30:50 2001 (#5069)

Kill my scars ,kill my stars. Die by far, by far this reason is MY REASON. Death is my birthright. I slit my throat- and it's what I choose. I lose this game every time, everynight, everyday, in every way. You won you see so don't tell me how to feel I can only mime my emotions. I steal them away , I take them away and I watch it BLEED. I watch it scream , I watch that slit on my wrist, I watch that red stream. Don't tell me not to die. Don't tell me not to cry. shaking shaking and I want to spew my guts. Jugular vein in my throat, I will permeate you. I will I will. I will get to you. You will let me slash you open. razor sharp, metal you beyond this incarceration. I wanted a chance to speak, I wanted a chance to see I wanted a chance to be. Your words cannot magic this pain away. for it's a stain on my heart. I take all the blame, I promise to take the blame. I will not take away your life the life you took away from me. I will take all my pain Spend each of these days forming the tears inside. I tried to escape them. These demons, they did not create themselves. you told me it was my own made eternal hell. made me believe in a self made cell I sold my soul. this time it's dead. I've lost the will to live. Giveway. I've lost the love to live. Today, today is away. You will not be able to make me breathe. You will not pump my stomach, these pills they stay. This time my wounds are left open and I can not be stitched up. Leave me this way. Leave me lying here. Leave me side. I've made my mind up leave me to die

Re: Leave me
Posted by Jess on Sun Mar 25 19:34:14 2001 (#5071)

no i won't fran.People want to help you and you throw it back in their faces.Stop being selfish.Eat those words you said to me when i got to my lowest point.I'm not ordering you around but just remember.You won't feel this way forever.You know that as much as i do.

love Jess

Re: Leave me
Posted by fran on Sun Mar 25 22:10:06 2001 (#5074)

I wasn't talking about you or anyone on this board ,I wrote the poem about my parents, and a friend.

(i will never) Leave (you)
Posted by f u c k er on Sun Mar 25 22:23:06 2001 (#5075)

fran i love you love you love you love you love you don'tleave me i love you xxxxxxx

What to do?
Posted by ** on Sun Mar 25 21:02:57 2001 (#5072)

It's getting worse day by day. I've stopped cutting for over a week now but it seems as if I'm getting more depressed. Everybody said that if I quit cutting things would be better, ques i've showed them wrong!

I'm pushing away everybody away who cares for me and I don't give a dawn. They would leave me eventually so why not now?

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm isolating myself and don't care for nobody and nothing...

Please tell me what to do because I can't take it anymore...

Re: What to do?
Posted by Jess on Sun Mar 25 22:09:16 2001 (#5073)

try not to push them away.I did and it made me worse.take it a min at a time.Stay calm. Isolating yourself is the worse thing you can do.After a while you cant stand yourself (even more that b4)and you start tipping over the edge.Stay with your friends as much as possible.It stops you cutting,even if not thinking about it (made no sense)You'll be thinking about it but not actually doing it.(better) I still don't give a damn about who cares for me (exeptions for special ppl)that doesn't go away until your totally on top of things. Keep your head held high and when sum1 annoys you smile.Strange i know but it works. Keep posting Jess

No one cares.
Posted by Falling hawk on Sun Mar 25 22:27:53 2001 (#5076)

thats what i said no one cares for me anymore

Re: No one cares.
Posted by black rose on Sun Mar 25 23:21:01 2001 (#5078)

everyone cares for you...I dont even know you that much at all and I still care about you and what happens to you! call me ne time u need ne thing! Christine

Im sure somebody does
Posted by little baby nothing on Mon Mar 26 22:53:35 2001 (#5108)

awww babes......im sure somebody cares...........but i wouldnt count on me in that department if i were you.kidding, i do care really....i just think how can you say nobody cares when all you ever do is post and all anybody ever does is reply to you!!!!everyone replies to you, but nobody replies to the people who dont whinge...thats some fucked up system.

Re: No one cares.
Posted by LILDEVILSHEDEVIL on Tue Mar 27 17:54:26 2001 (#5170)

SOMEONE DOES CARE YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT IM NEW HERE SO I GO THROUGH THE SAME STUFF AT TIMES IM NOT COMPARING BUT SOME WHERE OUT THERE,THERE IS SOMEONE THAT CARES THEY DONT ALWAYS SHOW IT BUT THEY DO TRUST ME I CARE ABOUT YOU SO THERE ITS ME!

why do anything when you can forget everything?
Posted by ugly and dying on Sun Mar 25 23:24:00 2001 (#5079)

Thin thin thin I hate the word almost as much as I love it why should I do anything I’ve forgotten everything lost that soul isn’t it sad so why so sad sad because I fucking am why do they make me feel guilty for feeling why must I feel why must I be perfect who’s perfect who said what perfect even is all I know is that I want it and one day I’m gonna fucking have it eat my heart for breakfast steal my smile for lunch have my happiness for dinner and snack on my remains throughout the night why do they make me feel so useless why do they make me feel like everything I ever said and did is wrong and pointless and try try try I am the girl you know so sick I cannot try cry so so hard that it can’t be denied please stay away from me you hurt my feelings swallow these little pebbles of freedom every one makes me feel more and more empty self destruct worse qualities self disgust and self obsession honey tear my hear out tear my heart out watch me disappear I want to disappear no I am not ok all these things to look forward to I don’t remember I forget sweetie I love you I remember the other night I feel so safe and wanted when you hold me tell me you love me in my ear so early in the morning the sun is rising and I wish you could know the real me so I wouldn’t have to tell you it’s not me you love well not exactly it’s fake me I feel so guilty for it all and for those few perfect moments I wanted to remind myself that all the snowflakes of dream worlds and sparkles of happiness were all so real they tell me you’re not good for me but baby I love you and maybe you’re not all the time but I wish I wish I love you I remember it and how it hurts to remember maybe I am insane but I want you to know that my eyes are where ever you are I wish I was blank I wish I could think sweets and lollipops fizz round my head and all those other pleasures I’m not meant to have I’m sorry I’m sorry gentle baby I will never disappoint you again in my dreams I promise myself everytime you make me feel like it and I mean it them but it’s so hard in the real world why am I bothering why do I care I wanna write I wanna die in the springtime around march 01 beautiful like the sun why do I care why do I care why does anything matter what goes down must come up I’m alone in the stupid teenage angst Polaroid alone with it all slit my wrists and send me to heaven there’s no point in me being here no point in anything sugar love steal my heart it’s yours to keep lock it up and keep it safe let no one else ever touch it again….

Re: why do anything when you can forget everything
Posted by WeaZLe on Mon Mar 26 00:05:08 2001 (#5081)

okay i gotta be fast im being yelled at, but i jus have to say hun, you know i love you to bits (and ya know chaos does too :¬) ) but I wanna tell you, like...i dunno, i know how i feel a lot better if i can talk to someone so if shit comes to shit dont be afraid to call me k? no matter what time if its 4 in the mornin i got all the time in the world for you hun. i love you xxxxxx WeaZLe

Re: why do anything when you can forget everything
Posted by weazle on Mon Mar 26 00:06:05 2001 (#5082)

Ps you SOOOOOOOO are not ugly hun....ur V.secksayyyy

hUmAn PrOZAc
Posted by Falling Hawk on Sun Mar 25 23:57:30 2001 (#5080)

I no you were only hear 1 time but i just want to tell you how much i hate you. i'm usually an easy going gal. never really yell unless i have to. but all i can say is your 1 bad motherfucker, going around acting like you care. i can see right thru you and the other night when you said you dont care. yeah that pissed me off. i DID report you to AOL cuz of what you said to my brother. even though it was all intended to me. but i just have to get this off my chest.

Fuck you motherfucking slut i swear you talk to me again you'll be sorry i got aol on my side so you can tell me i'm crazy and that i'm fucked up but i just gotta tell you. bit me bitch you can just KISS MY ASS >:-(

(((((SHADOW)))))

Re: hUmAn PrOZAc
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 00:30:41 2001 (#5084)

i understand what your saying and how u get pissed and all...but why the fuck kare what pple think human beings to me are selfish heatless bitchs ..i hate them all i dont considor myself one of them and i never will so fuck that asshole your too good to be worrying about sum dumb ingret like him you know what i mean well later bloody hugs slash

Is anyone there?
Posted by kitty on Mon Mar 26 00:28:58 2001 (#5083)

Is there anything to feel? Is it pain that makes you real? Cut me up before it kills me.....

Re: Is anyone there?
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 00:33:29 2001 (#5085)

wondefuil quote of you just like trent says.....i hurt myself today to see i can feel i focus the pain the only thing thats ral! try listening to nin if u dont already i have my music and my razor all thats worth anything in life... bloody hugs slash

Re: Is anyone there?
Posted by kitty on Mon Mar 26 00:43:47 2001 (#5086)

Is that all there is to this life? I hope theres more but as I bleed I can't think of anything better. Nothing else gives me that feeling of control, of calm.

Re: Is anyone there?
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 01:37:41 2001 (#5088)

well thats all to my life....well all the things that are good anyways the things thathelp me get along......helps me stop crying as harddo u listen to nin?

Re: Is anyone there?
Posted by kitty on Mon Mar 26 01:50:02 2001 (#5091)

Yes I do. I listen to a lot of stuff and the nore I listen the more I find the slef destructive connotations. I wish there was more to both my life and yours. Especially yours. I can't see a way out of this for me but maybe I can help you realise you are a valuable person who is needed and wanted by others

why won't it stop
Posted by eve on Mon Mar 26 00:54:15 2001 (#5087)

All I want is for the pain to stop. My thoughts are spinning. I can't think of anything ekse but the blade glistening. I need to cry red tears, I want to cry red tears. A chance to feel alive even if only for a few minutes. I want to escape from myself, from you,from this life.

Re: why won't it stop
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 01:40:09 2001 (#5089)

dont we all i know exactly how you feel which i know you prolly dont believe i dont think not person feels like me and when it comes close to me thinking i do they do sumthing so wrong to me that i know that cant be thinkiing lkike me,...well i dont no nothing gets better for me but for EVERYONE ELSE they always have sumthig make them better:vvomits: so maybe for you sumthing will come but for me im alone with my best friend my razor bloody hugs slash

Re: why won't it stop
Posted by eve on Mon Mar 26 01:46:22 2001 (#5090)

you're not alone. i can't put into words what i want to say. People hurt us - do we hurt them?I don't know. I'm trying to leave my best friend behind but its hard, To see the blood running is such a comfort. Mail me or IM me at ewapajdzik@hotmail.com if you need/want to. I need someone to talk to. Someone who understands.

Re: why won't it stop
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 05:46:22 2001 (#5094)

whats ur s/n i got aol email me......:sobs: bloody hugs slash

I hate my life!!!!!!
Posted by Kate on Mon Mar 26 05:37:45 2001 (#5092)

I am so sick of my life. I got into a fight with my sister and she won't speak to me I even apologized. I confronted her about her drinking a lot lately and now she won't talk to me. She is getting married in two months so everyone is kissing her ass and all we have been talking about is this wedding. I don't even exist to my family so why even exist in life?

Re: I hate my life!!!!!!
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 05:44:10 2001 (#5093)

its just fucking family i dont exist any fucking where im sure shell get over it and start talkign to u all friends =backstabbign bitchs family -sighs so dont fucking worry about ok sorry bout all cusign havcing a very bad day:sobs: bloody hugs slash

Re: I hate my life!!!!!!
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 00:14:55 2001 (#5118)

well, you should expect that she gets a lot of attention now...it makes sense...lot of planning and stuff...sorta like a kid who gets a new baby bro/sis and they get all the attention...

no, I've got a lot against sisters and family and weddings and all now so I can't tell you to smile and hang around them...can you shut them out for awhile?

Re: I hate my life!!!!!!
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 00:30:45 2001 (#5122)

Thanks, I am being immature. We made up. I guess I am just going to miss her. I worry about people who drink a lot but it is under control.

Re: I hate my life!!!!!!
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 00:35:52 2001 (#5124)

definitely know that feeling...had a roomie who drank too much...everyone was worried but then she just sort of realized she drank too much and doesn't go too far anymore (*l* usually)...now I'm concerned about a friend who gets suicidal when he drinks too much, a whole lot more worried about that...not sure if the grammer there was good, but think you get it

getting annoying
Posted by blah on Mon Mar 26 09:27:15 2001 (#5096)

this board is getting really horrible and selfish. everyone trying to outdo each other and using this instead of the suicide board for suicide notes. I do acknowledge there are a few who try to help others, but most are just so egocentric

Re: getting annoying
Posted by Kate on Mon Mar 26 15:27:06 2001 (#5099)

Thanks.

pathalogical liar
Posted by lyds on Mon Mar 26 10:45:59 2001 (#5097)

i am going to self-diagnose again. i am a pathalogical liar. i lie lie lie. i live two lives one in my head and one to everyone else. people dont know me. i lie to the world. my family has no clue who i am. i cant handle the truth. lies

whats the saying........ when at first we practice to decieve oh what a tangled web we weave? maybe

Re: pathalogical liar
Posted by Jess on Mon Mar 26 19:58:05 2001 (#5103)

theres a deep down reason for all that.Stay true to yourself.dont forget whats real and whats not

New here...
Posted by RedTears on Mon Mar 26 16:42:22 2001 (#5100)

hey i'm 18 yr old female. that has been doing cutting since i was 6 yrs old maybe younger. i just lost my best friend i could ever have last May due to a car accicent. and i which i thought was my best friend won't talk to me anymore. and i don't why. i feel so alone so empty inside. like if i kill myself no one will care or give a rat's ass. I gotta go. Peace

Re: New here...
Posted by Jess on Mon Mar 26 19:51:21 2001 (#5102)

i would care.keep cummin back with probs cos we'll help you through them.We are your friends.Don't do nythin out of order.I'm here to talk.E-mail me if you want Love Jess

Re: New here...
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 03:27:53 2001 (#5138)

welcome to the board...my name is Christine...IM me or e-mail me ne time u need/want to talk! I g2g..bye!

Feeling blue
Posted by Nicke on Mon Mar 26 19:29:04 2001 (#5101)

Hey there, sorry I haven't been around much lately. I haven't had internet access all week.

I was just wondering, when does the feeling go away?

Like I always put on this brave, happy, smiley face and pretend to the world that things are all right. I guess it is working on the theory that if I say it enough then I will believe it.

However it just works in the opposite way, I feel worse because I can't express myself how I would like to.

I have just been working on total adrenaline this past couple of weeks. Keeping myself busy to take my mind off things.

Now I have come to a stand still and it has all hit me like a tonne of bricks. I feel like shit in a big way. I don't have my knife anymore as I have promised to stop cutting. I have minders that watch me to make sure I don't buy paracetamol or razors.

I feel like I don't have control of my life anymore. I feel like everyone is telling me what to do and that everything I do is just to satisfy others and not myself.

I want to do something that is totally for me. But what I really want to do is cut sooo bad and sooo deep untill it bleeds sooo much to get out all the hurt and pain and everything else. Even if that means I will be thrown out of my home. Yes the staff at the place I live have threatned to throw me out if I attempt suicide again or cut myself again. BASTARDS!

Thanx for listening.

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX

Re: Feeling blue
Posted by Jess on Mon Mar 26 20:18:48 2001 (#5104)

not being able to cut will help you find other ways of dealing with your feelings.To stop i threw all my razors,sharp knives,etc away so i had nothing to cut with.My rents also banned me from the kitchen and hid anything sharp.I'm ok now.It was hard though.I kinda know what ure goin through no fully though. Sayin all that.I still carry a razor blade round with me incase anything go's wrong.Also for a cumfort thing.I'm sure you understand. Jess

Re: Feeling blue
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 27 02:51:18 2001 (#5137)

hey Nicke! Glad to hear from you again, I've been worried about you soooo much. Honest. I know exactly how you feel. Putting on that fake smile just to make everyone around you happy. It gets exhauting after awhile. I too don't know how to express myself. Its just way tooooo hard these days. I don't trust anyone enough to tell them anything. I'll be ok though, and I hope you will too. Email me anytime! Luv ya lots, Alana

Re: Feeling blue
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 03:42:19 2001 (#5140)

I know how u feel when u say u wear masks to make everyone around u happy...it sucks cuz u can never really express urself...no 1 trusts me w/ne thing sharp or pills! I always have to have something sharp w/me! I g2g! hang in there...it's good to hear from you! Christine

SUSPENDED
Posted by Falling Hawk on Mon Mar 26 22:34:24 2001 (#5105)

It wasnt my fault and i get 5 nights

Re: SUSPENDED
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 03:43:13 2001 (#5141)

4 what?

what the F-U-C-K
Posted by Little Baby Nothing on Mon Mar 26 22:43:18 2001 (#5106)

I totally agree "blah"...ppl here are COMPLETELY egotistical now... all you DO is whinge! i mean.... dont be getting me wrong now...Whinging is fuckin brilliant therapy...but you whinge, then whinge some more, then you all whinge at once about yourselves... there are never even words of comfort now, from my observations there are very few people here who genuinely care for the others... most of you only care for yourselves. Falling hawk...you are an attention seeker...i aint saying u is a liar....you exageratte, u never have anything to say unless its about yourself or to slag off others...say something fucking useful! if your gonna whinge, at least try and support others when they do! dont sit there like some fucking...lemon, whinging but not doing nothin else. WHERE IS THE SUPPORT GONE YOU GUYS!!!! Ill tell you where its gone. It disappears the minute Strider does. he is the soul of this community. he loves everyone no matter what, and he knows the power of forgiveness. he has been thru some shit, he is one of the coolest guys i know (and dont interrogate him over who i am because he wont know). I love Colin to bits, even if he doesnt realise it (not in THAT way). you people complain and moan and whinge and whine. the more you whinge, the less notice people will take of you. when somebody who doesnt post a lot says something, ppl will take it seriously. or at least...you should. take for example. Beautiful and dying. wheres she been? not the MOST talkative person here. but a very very very lovely girl. She is so Beautiful inside and out and it fears me to realise maybe due to simple human ignorance her name could come to truth, and if she dies i dont know what humans really have to live for. well my point is you all have shitloads to say to those two who dont shut the whinging, always the same...but she says soemthing, something that i must admit worries me and only ONE person has anything to say...the more you threaten, fallen hawk, the less people beleive you. I am truly shocked "weazel" is the only person to actually reply to her... she is more than you lot rolled together, excluding a few such as Fran and Nicke. I wanna make it clear im not accusing anybody of being fakers, but i get the impression falling hawk and black rose are both very...exaggerative. I also wanna make it clear that ive left out names of others who i love loads, and those who i truly beleive. so dont take all this personally if your name aint down. i either dont know u, or beleive you mostly, or else id put your name. The majority of people here are silly. they dont understand what their saying. its become a race to see who can commit suicide first. PLEASEEEEEE.....shut it. i used to get offended when ppl said shit about this and how its changed etc....i aint been here long and its true. it has changed, and change is a good thing, but not today. this place gets worse by the minute and i can say that i wont be having any comments for anybody who would like to reply to this with your insults and pettiness although feel free to show yoruselves up.

those of you who are worth my time, even those i harly know if at all, i got love for you all. and those of you who arent worthy of scum....i love you all too. i just think you need to get yo ass back into that fuckin school.

Re: what the F-U-C-K
Posted by WeaZLe on Mon Mar 26 22:47:12 2001 (#5107)

ummmm...i gotta say i mostly agree. luv u guys. xxxxx

PS i tried emailing it and i thin his/her addy is fake.

Re: what the F-U-C-K
Posted by slash on Mon Mar 26 22:55:49 2001 (#5109)

what the fuck do u want me to sya how fucking bad cutting is and say u should sto[ and support u ins topping that wont help worth shit or say i care about u and shit if ur truly depressed u feel as noone cares about u and when pple sya it specially online it just piss's u off fucking syaing ur experiences with cutting and shit help and if u dont liek the damn boreed u dont have to be here..damn.. slahs

Re: what the F-U-C-K
Posted by falling hawk on Mon Mar 26 23:08:46 2001 (#5112)

Okay let me just say that i have had a bad day and well guess what you just got on my bad side. slash is right. if you dont like it hear you can just leave cuz ya no what. we dont like you ima say nothing bad to weaZle cuz he comes hear a lot. bnut just so you no when people ""complain"&quo t; it HELPS them feel better, you no having people out there who understand what yuor going thru. you may not think that but your not us. so eather stop saying that we complain and that were stupid or whatever and be nice or take your SHIT elsewhere. okay?

I think i took that rather well.

((((((Shadow))))))

Look...
Posted by lil baby nothing on Mon Mar 26 23:14:33 2001 (#5114)

maybe i was a little blunt with what i say....but read my last message, im sorry im mad at shit and i shouldnt have said shit so meanly. but i do really just say it to help you. if you complain a lot the ppl who DONt understand think ur not worth their time an beleive me i know you are....and id also like to add i been here so much longer than you. so dont talk down to me like dat.

Ps weazel is a gal.

who got a tampon stuck up THEIR ass then!
Posted by Little baby nothing on Mon Mar 26 23:11:38 2001 (#5113)

hey, i told you im just making a point. and its true. im not saying u gotta be fucking patronizing. and since when did i say anything bout you? I know you wont listen, but maybe somebody else will. I dont like the board, i come here because i like some people here.

Look. Falling hawk made some fuss aobut some girl saying she had a worse life.... HELLO? THIS IS NOT A FUCKING RACE!!!!!! WE DONT WANT BAD LIVES! DONT MAKE YOUR LIFE WORSE JUST TO GET SYMPATHY!!! i been thru more than you know so dont be talking shit to me like u know it all. because you dont. i been thru this mill ok. whinging makes you dwell. you get worse. im not saying dont come here. im saying...get out more...try and do things that keep you occupied or youll fade away....i AM faded....im trying to save myself and trying to help you guys before you fade too. because you think you hurt now? you wait til ppl get bored of you whinging and bweing sad. they dont understanfd you see. i do. they dont. they think you arent serious if you keep on. they get BORED of you because they dont realise your serious. this is where i was. so i gotta help myself if i exp[ect anyboddy to help me, an i gotta treat others the way i wanna be treated. if im after support, i help my friends. i suport them. why dont you fucking learn some shit from the above paragraph.

Re: what the F-U-C-K
Posted by anona1 on Mon Mar 26 23:59:01 2001 (#5116)

I agree that this place has gotten more of a frustrating place to come...not sure if mentioning names is right, but I'm sure you feel relieved...I'm sorry, but truthfully I don't relate to all of you...we're all here for different reasons and have different pasts and presents...so I try to help when I can, but am at too much of a loss of words to reply a lot...I mean, when all I can come up with is "Hang in there" it's just too lousy to bother replying...I guess it helps if you write down why you're doing or thinking what you are at the moment...then people who can relate to the situation can reply...when someone just posts that they're cutting or want to die, it just gets redundant and most people here feel at least one of those, so how is anyone supposed to convince the one who posted not to...

talking so long that I'm losing my train of thought, good though, shorter to read... take care

lttle baby nothing..
Posted by Alana on Mon Mar 26 23:50:17 2001 (#5115)

I must say...thank you! Finally you said what I've been trying to say for weeks now. This place has changed for the worse because some of the people here like to think cutting is something to be proud of, and make it seem great. Guess what, its not. It fucks you up more than you can know. Yes, it is a way of coping, and at times it can be a way of survival. Believe me I know. I really do. But we can't keep pushing eachother along saying everything is going to be ok, and keep on cutting. Its crazy. INSANE! That is exactly what this place has come to be. Falling Hawk...you scare me. You do seek for attention way too much and make things out to be way worse than they actually are. The one thing I despise in this world is people who self pity. You are the queen of self pity. And thats not a good place to be, especially when you are an SIer. You wonder why there aren't anymore familiar names here anymore. We all can't stand this insanity. We came here to get rid of that, and you guys have only made it worse. Thanks for listening again. I'm sorry to be so rude about it, but there is no other way right now. I hope you realize what we are saying here. Alana PS Do I know you Little Baby Nothing????

Re: lttle baby nothing..
Posted by Little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 19:33:25 2001 (#5173)

yeah u kinda know me... we havent spoken but if i told u what user name i used to go as ud remember...but i kinda wanna be keeping peace and i thought id only get negative remarks for what i said, although that wasnt my aim. i totally agree at times survival but it is NOT something to be proud of...EDONT be ashamed....just dont be proud. because if it filled us with pride...we wouldnt be here

name change
Posted by STitcHeZ on Tue Mar 27 00:13:47 2001 (#5117)

hey guyz! this is me Cheze2 but i am changing my name now cause i am going to invite some of my friends here and i kinda still want my privacy. so this will be my new name thankz!!!

-Amanda-

lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by LOST on Tue Mar 27 00:18:03 2001 (#5119)

hey like since u guys are talking shit about everyone and stuff and pointing bad things out about people... could u guys like point some stuff out about me? like whats wrong with me and stuff... or do i whine too much or am i self centered or whatever... i know it sounds wierd for me to ask this kind of stuff but i LIKE constructive critisism... as long as ur not like "oh ur a fuckn bitch" and stuff like that... i like people to be honest with me and their opinions of me... so maybe if i agree, i can work on changing it or something... AND i like it better if people say things TO me and not ABOUT me... and don't worry i'm not gonna like say anything mean back to u because i'm ASKING to hear these things about me... so PLEASE if u have any comments about me or things u don't like TEEEEEEELLLLLLL MEEEEEEE!!! u'll be doing me a favor ;) thanks u guys... peace outties

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 00:29:06 2001 (#5121)

well, you don't post much...I think your replies are great when you do though...you relate by heartfelt experiences...that's got to be a great help...I know you're looking for criticism...but I can only think to tell you to post a little more...but of course it's good the way it is now...*s*

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 14:28:09 2001 (#5159)

Hey there LOST, how have you been?

I agree you don't post much but when you do it is worth the wait.

I also like constructive critisism. However sometimes those who look for it are the ones who don't have any thing obvious to point out. Just think about it!!!!

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 19:38:34 2001 (#5174)

i havent heard much from u but your not a whinger, ive got that far :¬) you seem pretty cool, but i dont really know too much bouts u xx

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by me on Tue Mar 27 23:15:49 2001 (#5197)

I have a problem with you, you smell funny =)

Love ya, girl yayayayayaya (guess who this is) ~me

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by LOST on Wed Mar 28 00:34:40 2001 (#5200)

lol dude it could be like 1 of 4 people... laura, db, christine (not the one here now)or maybe nuni? AND if its someone else... sorry sorry sorry... dammit who the hell are u? playing these guessing games up in here! :)

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by laura rose on Wed Mar 28 11:38:15 2001 (#5228)

*raises hand*

heehee.. tis me... good job =)

go take a shower, girly... ~laura

Re: lil baby whatever and everyone else......
Posted by Doris on Wed Mar 28 20:19:27 2001 (#5244)

LOST,

I love hearing from you because it sounds like you are doing so much better. I don't know much about you, but your positive posts really lighten up this place. Thanks! :)

Doris

Angry
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 00:28:06 2001 (#5120)

I am so furious with you guys. First of all Lost, Fran, DB, and all of my favorites left because of all the whining. Nuni and I stayed to try to help you new people who I have never met and you call us selfish. I posted one thing about my life because I was truly sad and slash was the only one who replied. I am through. Help yourselves. I am done. I am sick of this board. OH and BLah and little baby whatever if you are so sure of yourselves, try using your real names. Suzie, Nicke, ALana, Strider, I'll miss you. I would get out of here if I was you. YOu guys can yell at me all you want I really don't care. Call me a bitch, a whore, whatever. I don't care.

Re: Angry
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 00:32:09 2001 (#5123)

I just replied...don't know if it helps though

Re: Angry
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 00:40:11 2001 (#5125)

I know thankyou. I think I over reacted a bit. I know who Little baby nothing is and I think she has a point. Sorry.

Re: Angry
Posted by butterfly on Tue Mar 27 00:41:52 2001 (#5126)

Kate, i don't think that post was aimed at you at all, don't leave because of it.

Re: Angry
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 00:51:05 2001 (#5127)

no it wasn't...I'm blah...sorry you took it that way...I was just getting frustrated with the room and wanted to see if anyone else felt the same way...didn't use my name b/c then I'd be hated by people who take it too personally...I also didn't name names...I figured I'd say something, and with so many people leaving I think it should've been said...oh well if people are pissed with me now

Re: Angry
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 00:54:16 2001 (#5128)

I am so sorry I over reacted. I am just having a bad week. Your intitled to your opinion. I am sorry if I have been whining.

Re: Angry
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 00:56:12 2001 (#5130)

you haven't been whining...I just don't find that anyone that can help the people who just say they're cutting and/or want to die...we can answer you b/c you give us experiences to give you feedback on...

Re: Angry
Posted by butterfly on Tue Mar 27 00:56:22 2001 (#5131)

anona1 i understand what you're trying to say and i do think you're right, it is very hard to carefully word things like that so not to hurt people. it needed saying though.

love you all.

Re: Angry
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 27 03:52:47 2001 (#5143)

I'll miss you too! I'm sorry that we didn't get to know eachother better. I wish we could!

Re: Angry
Posted by LILDEVILSHEDEVIL on Tue Mar 27 18:01:25 2001 (#5171)

IM NEW HERE I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAN THOSE PEEPS WERENT FRIENDS JUST PUNKS BUT DONT GO STAY YOU SEEM TO BE A REAL GOOD PERSON BUT HEY MY WORDS PROABLY DONT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU BUT DONT GO ILL NEED YOU HERE CAUSE I DONT KNOW ANYONE HERE AND I WOULD SURELY JUST LIKE A FRIEND TO TALK TO AND SOMEONE THAT WILL TELL ME THERE PROBLEMS AND ILL TELL THEM MINE WELL LATERS!

Re: Angry
Posted by little baby nothin on Tue Mar 27 19:45:53 2001 (#5178)

LILDEVILSHEDEVIL....wha ts wrong with punks???

Re: Angry
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 00:50:02 2001 (#5203)

Thanks. I just overreacted. I have been over defensive lately. I would love to talk to you.

Re: Angry
Posted by Litle baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 19:41:14 2001 (#5175)

i didnt mean anything aimed at you...i tired to make that clear. i never said your selfish, i said ppl here whine too much.....its true, look at everyone who agrees with me. and heyyyyy i aint a newbie hun, i been here longer than u. i havent heard from you and i got the impression u were kinda cool...so im sorry u took shit personal.

Re: Angry
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 00:52:31 2001 (#5204)

I am so sorry. I have just been a bitch lately. Maybe its PMS. Just kidding. DO I know you. Are you Fran?? Email me and tell me who you are I won't tell anyone.

walking away
Posted by suzie on Tue Mar 27 00:54:19 2001 (#5129)

hey,

sorry if i havent been posting very often. i want to post there and be here as much as possible, but i didnt think my words actually helped anyone. i felt so bad, that i would post here and try to help you, and i wasnt. i didnt post about me, being that i am trying to help.. and im posting about me. oh well,

well things have been going down hill latley. i was sitting here a couple o nights ago, and i almost forced my self to down a bottle of motrin. i wnated to so bad.. i dont know maby im being sappy or something, i dont know.

just everything has been going down hill, with friendships, relationships. me.. everything

well sorry for taking up room, bebue

Re: walking away
Posted by a.z. on Tue Mar 27 01:29:32 2001 (#5134)

it's tuff to find that balance...being supportive to others, and still making time for yourself. your support does make a difference..the postings i've read from you seem honest and real..those are the best ingrediants. people tell me cheesey stuff like "without down hills, there wouldn't be up hills"...not sure if those people really understand SI...but anyway...talk it out, sister! let it flow...what are you thinkin, dreamin, and hopin? congrats on makin it to another day and for takin time to post about yourself. do you ever watch oprah? a.z.

Re: walking away
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 04:08:23 2001 (#5146)

dont be sry for taking up room...we're not just here to b helped but to help others as well! keep posting and kep us updated 1ce and a while...IM or e-mail me if u need to talk! bye Christine

Re: walking away
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 14:34:24 2001 (#5160)

Hey I missed you.

You think that your words don't help but just by posting a reply you are showing that you care enough to write whatever words of comfort you can offer. You ALWAYS helped me EMENSLEY!!! I feel so sorry that you felt that bad the other day. But find comfort in the fact that something stopped you. You must find out what that is.

I believe that the meaning of life is: "to find the meaning of life" When you have found your meaning grasp it with both hands and never let go.

Just remember that I am here for you as much as you need me. E-mail me any time.

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX

Re: walking away
Posted by Little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 19:50:55 2001 (#5179)

i just wanna say that from what ive read from you.....you are really cool. just thought id say, i guess ppl here dont like me from those other things but honest im not a psychotic robotic emotionaless bitch :) mail me if ya need someone k. xx

gotta go now
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 01:00:25 2001 (#5132)

alright, take care all...

just gotta run and do some of my many art associated assignments

Re: gotta go now
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 03:49:13 2001 (#5142)

Your into art? thats so cool.

Re: gotta go now
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 13:39:08 2001 (#5154)

yeah, majoring in fine art/computer ad design...those hate the computer one b/c it's not as fun and interesting...just have it for backup...want to teach in college...planning to attend grad school in Jan but haven't applied yet b/c of lack of enough paintings for my portfolio, but working on that...was assigned 3 art papers plus one yet to be assigned all due in a month and that's on top of finishing another 4 paintings, 2 stones (carving), 4 other kinds of paintings plus a bunch of drawings...I expect I'll have my usual mental and nervous breakdown in 3-4 weeks...seeing the work in writing is just about laughable now, but I work on each for a couple hours at a time so I don't end up tearing my canvases to shreds or something...

been doing okay, not concentrating too much on the amount yet...haven't done terrible damage to myself in hmm, 2, 3 days now...just really concerned about a friend, as always...*l* and tired b/c I've been up all night doing artwork, rolling eyes, not even one that's an assignment...but oh well...in a weird mood due to no sleep...(stop talking now)...okay

take care

Re: gotta go now
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 15:39:12 2001 (#5164)

How old are you? if I may ask. I'm 22. I just finished school but don't know what to do. I majored in elementary education but may want to go into counseling.

Re: gotta go now
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 16:17:13 2001 (#5166)

I'm 22 also, graduating this year, 5th yr of college...hoping to go to grad school in Jan but really have no idea what job to get until then

Re: gotta go now
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 17:51:48 2001 (#5169)

I here ya. WHere are you from? I'm from Cleveland Ohio.

My life is over**wheres my gun** bye bye
Posted by falling hawk on Tue Mar 27 01:15:07 2001 (#5133)

Re: My life is over**wheres my gun** bye bye
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 04:13:57 2001 (#5147)

U BITCH!!! y dont u call me when somethings wrong...I'm here to help! U do this alot...and u end up fine...I dont even know whetha to believe u or not ne more...all I ask is that u contact me in someway and give me a chance to respond! I'm not saying that I dont believe u if u shoot urself or if u havent yet please dont...call me!!! PLEASE!!! I g2g Christine

Re: My life is over**wheres my gun** bye bye
Posted by litle baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 19:52:23 2001 (#5180)

i dont really see a point in a) you replying to my messages beforehand all defensive and b) this message.....cuz you just COMPLETELY prove my point.

Re: My life is over**wheres my gun** bye bye
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 20:15:57 2001 (#5184)

I didn't mention names in my message b/c I think it's quite harsh...

if you talk to fallinghawk though you'll realize she's quite young...I've encouraged her to write what she's going through in her life instead of what she's doing or wishing she could to do herself...perhaps then more people will relate to her...so I hope she'll let you know her story

Falling Hawk
Posted by Strider on Tue Mar 27 01:35:34 2001 (#5135)

OK, who here is saying that Falling Hawk is just saying things looking for attention? She's not doing that anymore than any of us have! Why else do people post? Because they want to hear from someone that cares. Well, if that's what you call getting attention, then that's all I ever did when I was posting here regularly. Does anyone remember the last time she said she was going to kill gherself? Well I do, and I also remember hoow she almost died, and she might have iver damage from the pills she overdosed with! You call that "just getting attention"? She's serious about this, OK?!?!/ Are you getting this people?? Please don't let this girl die. Please....

love and prayers, Colin

Re: Falling Hawk
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 27 02:47:08 2001 (#5136)

Thats the problem here Colin, we can't stop her from dying. She won't let us. We try to help, but how can we, when really alot of people here don't want it. We can only get help when we want to stop. I for one don't want to stop, therefore I'm not going to talk about it. Its no good feeling sorry for yourself. I've done that too much in the past.

Re: Falling Hawk
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 19:44:59 2001 (#5177)

I am prepaired to help anyone but you can't help anyone who doesn't want the help. I know because I was exactly like that. I e-mail her before to see if she was alright but I haven't heard anything since. I haven't been here recantly so I missed alot of the arguements(for which I am glad) But I will always try to help ppl that I can.

Nicke

hey guys i am here.my arms are all slashed up now!
Posted by Tara on Tue Mar 27 03:29:59 2001 (#5139)

i gave up on killing myself,because every time that i would try.my famiy or my friends would be around to stop me.they would not leave me alone at any time.they would even make for damn sure that i was asleep before they would even think about going to bed.that really pissed me off to.i won't give up that long though.i can't stand to live in this fucking world.all i have in my pathitic little fucking life is pain'so why not make it end?it is not worth the pain that i feel day in and day out.my parents even light my cigs for me becase they are afraid that i am going to burn myself with the flame.i even have to smoke it in front of them so i don't burn myself with the cig.now that is just fucking crazy to me.well i am going to go.i wish you all the best.for you people that have a chance.keep on trying as hard as you can and don't ever give up.

Your Friend,

Tara Butterbaugh

Re: hey guys i am here.my arms are all slashed up
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 04:19:31 2001 (#5148)

Tara, it will last like this for a lil' while and you'll learn that u get stronger thru it and u get more freedom and less of an urge to cut...they have to adapt to it and so do u...I know u'll get thru this...ur strong...u may not believe this but u r! I g2g! IM or e-mail me if u want! Christine

I'll admit
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 03:54:24 2001 (#5144)

Just so you guys know I am a very defensive and sensitive person. So don't take it personally if I am a bitch and I jump down your throats. I have been a bitch lately. MY family is going through some changes.

Re: I'll admit
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 27 04:00:23 2001 (#5145)

I'll have to say the same thing. You all know I have my moments of sheer bithchery. But like Kate, I am going through alot of changes right now. I don't know if this is an excuse to me. I just feel misunderstood right now. So I am sorry to everyone I've hurt this past while...suzie, colin, fallinghawk, and anyone else out there who takes offence to what I have to say. Just ask Colin, its all PMS! HA! Talk to you all later, Alana

Re: I'll admit
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 04:20:48 2001 (#5149)

You sound so much like me its scary. we should talk.

Re: I'll admit
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 27 04:25:09 2001 (#5152)

do you have msn?

Re: I'll admit
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 16:37:34 2001 (#5234)

I'm not sure what that is. I'm an idiot.

im shaking
Posted by ignorance is bliss on Tue Mar 27 04:22:11 2001 (#5150)

im shaking

Re: im shaking
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 05:01:07 2001 (#5153)

u Ok?

Re: im shaking
Posted by little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 19:57:24 2001 (#5181)

point.....u cant expect ppl to be helpings yous if thts all ur gonna write.

sry!!!
Posted by black rose on Tue Mar 27 04:24:35 2001 (#5151)

I'm sry if I've been bitching about my problems a lil' too much lately...I just need to get somethings out...I dont mean to whine or ne thing! I'm trying to help ppl as much as I can right now...so if ne one needs ne thing they can IM me or e-mail me at Twistedpsycho13@aol.com dont let the name throw u off! Christine

anyone talk to simon?
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 13:52:05 2001 (#5155)

anyone talk to him...haven't heard from him in a day and just wanted to check up a little on him...if someone could let me know, I'd appreciate it...thanks

Re: anyone talk to simon?
Posted by simon on Wed Mar 28 03:04:03 2001 (#5212)

i'm still here! just bad company at the moment, not worth talking to. had bad time at therapy yesterday, therapist/the rapist just started saying how shit my life is, and i'm like, no, please make me feel better about myself. i wish i didn't have to go at all, but if i don't, the social think i'm ok, so they take away my money.bastards. so yeah, don't panic, just not got much worth saying at the moment.maybe tomorrow i'll be ok, then i can bore you all some more... oh, thanks for asking about me, i can't remember the last time someone did that, it has made me feel better about myself!

Re: anyone talk to simon?
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 03:08:34 2001 (#5214)

thanks so much for replying...yeah, I always start worrying about people...and don't know what you meant to say in the last email b/c you just wrote that you erased the one you meant to send...glad I can help you feel a little better...all I can expect and hope for so that's good...take care

BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 14:17:52 2001 (#5156)

I was just reading back on some of the stuff that I have missed over the past week and 1 thing is clear. There is alot of tension on this board. I agree with some of the things said but I would hate to see some ppl take it too personal and not come back. My advice is use it as a learning experience because I will listen to anyone. Also Kate and others, it hurts me just as much to hear that ppl are leaving (unless it is because they are moving on) as it does to hear ppl saying that they wanted to die.

SO WHAT UIS THE IDEA? I hear you ask.

Well what if everyone wrote on here just one positive thing that happened in your day. Even if it is only that you found 10 pence on the floor or something silly like that. I truly believe that if we start focusing and lookiung to find the positive things then each day might not look so bleak.

I know that it is hard sometimes to find a good thing when your day seems to have been so terrible but just try!!!!

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by suzie on Tue Mar 27 14:23:35 2001 (#5158)

i rented my favorite movie!! so i get to go watch it for the 57th time

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 14:47:42 2001 (#5161)

might be a good idea for some...personally I've always hated stuff like that...not that I only see the sadness of life, I just don't usually feel like cheeriness these days...sometimes seeing the happiness just makes me feel worse...

I'll say this one though which will probably be the only one...it's funny, but I'm totally serious...I thank God for eyebrows so that shampoo doesn't get into my eyes as easily in the shower

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 15:05:38 2001 (#5162)

I truly believe that laughter is a great healer.

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by bluehaze on Tue Mar 27 19:41:54 2001 (#5176)

Theres a lot of shit happening right now to a lot of people but it doesn't last forever. Yes, I know it feels that way - I feel that way myself most days. But if we're ever going to get through this we also have to look at the positives,however small and insignificant they my seem. Today, I was told I passed my maths module. I learnt that I'm not as stupid as I usually think I am. I'm new to this board - I visited several times and found that there was not a great deal that made me feel any better, any more hopeful. Lets hear some more of the good things, encouragement and support. Take care all.

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by Little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 20:03:01 2001 (#5182)

i totally agree... gooooooo nicke. :¬)

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by LOST on Tue Mar 27 21:10:21 2001 (#5187)

something good???? uhhhhmmmm i don't have to get off my ass till 6 tonight to go to work? i guess thats a good thing....... and that eyebrow thing was hella cool :)

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 27 22:22:00 2001 (#5192)

I got recommended today to study my OAC science coarses at the Ontario Science Centre. Which is a huge deal. Only 50 students from around the city get chosen! HUGE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY@

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? WELL DONE!
Posted by bluehaze on Tue Mar 27 22:53:26 2001 (#5194)

Thats great news! Keep smiling!

Re: BRILLIANT IDEA? YOUR OPINIONS PLS
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 01:55:29 2001 (#5207)

*l* thanks...you never know what your brain will come up with

Pls read my last post!
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 14:22:49 2001 (#5157)

Please read my last post. I know it is long but I need you to read it.

P.S. hello Alana, Kate, someone, Jess, Black rose, STiTcHeZ and everyone else I missed out.

Also what has happened to Fran and Strider?

Stayn strong, Nicke. XXXX

Re: Pls read my last post!
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 15:07:41 2001 (#5163)

Oh and how could I forget Suzie!! Hello to you too, How are you doing these days. I have missed you also.

Re: Pls read my last post!
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 27 15:41:07 2001 (#5165)

I talked to Fran she's okay. I overreacted that is why I was going to leave. I will still visit. I read your post its a great idea.

I wish I can bring her back....
Posted by Redtears on Tue Mar 27 16:20:48 2001 (#5167)

my best friend died in a car accident last May. and she my best friend i could i ever have and then all of sudden she's gone. everynight i sit at my computer and just cut over and over, watching the blood stain my skin. feeling no pain as the razor slices my arm open. DAMNIT, why can't she be here with me!!!!!! All I need is her with me, and everything will be fine. Peace

Re: I wish I can bring her back....
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 16:24:44 2001 (#5168)

I'm sorry about it and sorry that I can't truly relate to the feeling...I started cutting b/c of a death, but if he were back it wouldn't stop me now...it's been 6, 7 years...

Re: I wish I can bring her back....
Posted by Nicke on Tue Mar 27 19:17:22 2001 (#5172)

I cannot directly relate as I lost my twin sister when we were only a few months old. However I know that if your friend were alive then she wouldn't want you to be harming yourself.

You cannot bring her back but from what you have said it sounds like she will always hold a place in your heart. You must start to except that she isn't coming back but not forget her. Just remember all the goods times you shared rather than the sadness that her death has left you with.

Read me "Brilliant idea" post.

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX

Re: I wish I can bring her back....
Posted by suzie on Wed Mar 28 05:21:50 2001 (#5216)

oh sweetie. gosh its gonna be hard. and its gonnna be sad. I know that you wish she was here rightnow, with you. and i wish for you that she was, But with time it will get better. Thinking about how much you miss her will only make it worse. try to move on,. every day. its gonna be hard, and its going to be slow, but in time, it will be better

sorry to anybody i hurt...
Posted by Little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 20:13:13 2001 (#5183)

I wanna just clear something up.....i honestly did NOT mean to offend nobody although i knew certain ppl would react badly. Im not trying to say i didnt mean that shit....i do, and a lot of ppl agree with me. but i just wanna say that I hope nobody HATES me here because i didnt mean to come across as harsh as i did. i care about everyone here, and my point is basicly i been there where u r...m still here beleive me...and venting and complaing...its good. but to help yourself, the best way of helping yourself is helping others, u find yourself caring less about what other ppl think cuz u got something to LIVE for...and i can understand what....excuse me ive forgotten who but i think it was kate who said i want a baby...i understand that. you may not think so but u need somewhere to place some love. something to care for and live for. i have this amount of love so big and nowhere to give it that it eats me away when im lonely.....but now, i have ppl here and some new ppl in my life (helen being one) and friends face2face...who need me....and being needed is so good. i CANT let myself die, i CANt let them down and it pushes me to be a better person. feeling sorry for ourselves....your already stuck in this sea pof depression but wallowing your just tying bigger rocks too your feet.

Re: sorry to anybody i hurt...
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 00:58:26 2001 (#5206)

Don't worry about it. I want a baby but not now. Lost gave me good advice. I'm glad you found something to live for, good for you. Love Ya

Kate

Re: sorry to anybody i hurt...
Posted by suzie on Wed Mar 28 05:26:11 2001 (#5217)

it might be bad to act a bit bitchy (but we have pms, thanks for that to blame it on) but it takes a big person to say, i was a bitch, im sorry. that takes a really big person, and i think im speaking for anyone, if you hurt anyone, thank you

anyone talk to necrosis
Posted by anona1 on Tue Mar 27 20:23:16 2001 (#5185)

please let me know if any of you have talked to him in the last 24 hrs...please...

Re: anyone talk to necrosis
Posted by little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 20:35:11 2001 (#5186)

i have...hes okay....i guess.....hes living :¬)

Re: anyone talk to necrosis
Posted by necrosis on Tue Mar 27 21:24:40 2001 (#5189)

spoke to him earlier. Not something I will tell my psychiatrist! He's fine, oddly optimistic actually. Pleased about the recent goings on here. A lot of people getting much pent up frustration off their chests - but in a pretty constructive way. Well done lill baby something....

Re: anyone talk to necrosis
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 02:42:07 2001 (#5210)

ah...alas poor Yorik, I knew him well...

hey you guys....
Posted by LOST on Tue Mar 27 21:24:39 2001 (#5188)

uhm hey u guys... i have a confession to make.... i don't cut myself anymore... and i haven't since before i've been coming here (over a year)... well i've cut myself maybe 5 times at the most since i've been here, but they were little. and i never really SAID to you guys that i cut... but i'm sure it was obviously assumed. but i USED TO cut for about 4 years (maybe a little bit more) and that ended about 1 1/2 yrs ago maybe... anyway, now i just suffer with the depression part of everything and i don't have a way to release it like i used to (cutting) and it kinda sucks big ass. but yeah i was just making that lil confession to u guys so just incase u like don't wanna talk to someone unless they SI or whatever... AND maybe some of u will say that i don't belong here since i don't SI... but i don't care cuz i'm staying anyway. :) :) :)

Re: hey you guys....
Posted by bluehaze on Tue Mar 27 23:04:05 2001 (#5196)

It gives me some hope to know there are people who have stopped. Someday, maybe I'll have the courage to leave it behind too.

Re: hey you guys....
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 00:47:24 2001 (#5202)

I think its great!! Good for you. I don't cut either but its only been a few months. I think its great that you are sharing your wisdom with everyone. Of course you belong here. Love Ya

Kate

Re: hey you guys....
Posted by suzie on Wed Mar 28 05:29:17 2001 (#5218)

sweetie, i dont care if you have 6 eyes, 3 heads 1 ear and you have purple skin. all i care about is that you are nice, try to help and will listen to us rant and rave, so dont worry about what you are, were or arent, your out friend for life

Re: hey you guys....
Posted by Linda on Sun Apr 1 19:53:24 2001 (#5349)

(((((((((((((((((((Kaybear)))) )))))))))))))Heyyyyyyyyyy I told you that you were great long ago....now do you believe me!!!! Love ya, kiddo! Sorry I haven't been online much.

3 weeks gone
Posted by STitcHeZ on Tue Mar 27 21:43:05 2001 (#5190)

i had a terrible night last night. (remember this is cheze2) i had my friend over cause she has been wicked suicidal and depressed, and cutting herself deeper than normal for her. so i had her over so i could watch her and stuff...but the night before i had cut my arm really deep, (that was sunday night) she found out about it and she was crying for about 2 hours saying how much i didn't care that she or anyone else cared about me. that i'm a brick wall and how by me being like me i'm making her want to die and cut herself. i wanted to yell and scream at her and tell her to fuck off cause she doesn't know shit about how much i take in from other people caring so much. but anyways..my parents found out about my arm and it needs stitches but i dunno...it kinda pisses me off how my dad claims to be the "better" parent of my mom and dad (they're divorced and i'm not really allowed to see my mom cause she's not capable of caring for me) and yet they don't bother to do anything about it. my dad's just like "O honey, what made you want to do that?" and trying to act like a friggen therapist, it jsut fucking pisses me off. GRRRRRR. he even threatened to put me back in the hospital, i really don't acre if he does. i think he kinda sees it as a punishment for me. but it's not hw doesn't undderstand how i can just shut everything out. how i can make myself seem as happy and as determined to stop cutting as i want to. even if i am still hurting myself. i dunno...maybe i am a cruel, stubborn, little bitch...

Amanda

Re: 3 weeks gone
Posted by little baby nothing on Tue Mar 27 22:20:27 2001 (#5191)

im sorry, but your friend is a fuckin hypocrite. how can she say that and do the same? oh well. good luck to u and her. Tell her if thats the case then she must not care that you care...right? oh well. hypocrites unite!!!.... and fuck off to albania and leave the normal ppl alone.

Re: 3 weeks gone
Posted by suzie on Wed Mar 28 05:41:23 2001 (#5219)

you must think, you're friend is depressed. when you are depressed you find a reason why and blame it on that. you at that moment were the person she was going to blame. if somethine else were making her mad, she would have blamed that. understand how confussed she is. its gonna be hard, but stay with her, stick there,

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Tara on Tue Mar 27 22:28:10 2001 (#5193)

i am going out of my mind.i can't stand to live another day,but my parents are wating me so close that i can't do anything with out them finding out about it.i want to die for good and never come back to this fucking place.i hate my life and every thing about myself.i wish that someone would just shoot me so that i would die.i want death so bad that i can feel his breath on my back just waiting to take me away to his gloomy palace.ifeel his boney fingers grasp my arm and he talks to me and his breth is cold and bitter as is the witer air at night.but then i wake up to find that it is only a dream that i made up in my head.but is it?for i look down and there is my body on the ground covered with blood as death laughs in my face and says to me that it is all over.that is when i do realize that me sweet dream has come true.that death really has come for me. well i had better go for now.

Your Friend,

Tara Butterbaugh

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by bluehaze on Tue Mar 27 22:57:55 2001 (#5195)

Stay strong. I know it seems so hopeless right now but things do get better. Maybe not for a while but everyday brings something new. There is so much inside yourself you can offer to others. You are a valuable part of this world. Remember that. Please don't give up.

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 02:33:38 2001 (#5208)

quite recently I wanted to die for over a month...but finally someone made me feel that they cared about me...and I'm a person who can't bear to hurt people...don't want to live or die with knowing that...I don't know if that's any help though

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by suzie on Wed Mar 28 06:03:22 2001 (#5220)

first of all, i have to say you have the COOLEST last name i have ever heard, it is AWESOME!!!. and ok, now to the serious stuff

sweetie. you cant die/ you have to stay here and help. you have to stay here and help everyone. youve been around the block, andyou will be able to help them., people when they need help...

Re: HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Nicke on Wed Mar 28 13:17:27 2001 (#5230)

I don't know if this will help much but it is always something that gets me thinking.

"it will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright then it isn't the end"

Just hang on in there, you have so much to offer the board and evryone else around you. Please don't go withput knowing that you are such a valuable person, everyone has a purpose, you just have to find yours.

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX

LOSER
Posted by BECKI on Tue Mar 27 23:17:58 2001 (#5198)

hey all this is the first time i have ever wrote on here i cut and thats all i do not bad just enough to see blood i need it so much i love it i want to die sometimes the cutting is my only friend and i feel so lonely so depressed no one understands me or cares and it makes me cut more the thing is ppl in school are the ones who are killing me there is this one teacher who supposely cared but doesnt anymore and it hurts to smile or be around her here is a quote from the song loser by 3 doors down "your gettin closer topushin me off of lifes little edge cuz i am a loser and sooner or later you know ill be dead your gettin closer to holdin the rope and takin the fall cuz im a loser" i am growin cold nothing runs through me and i am slowly killin myself and all i do it cut and i hate myself so much i hate my self for cuttin for everything i have ever done "I DO NOT KNOW MYSELF AND GODFIB I SHOULD" "NO one ever lacks good reason for suicide" " i know how it feels to want to die how it hurts to smile and you try to fit in but you cant you hurt yourself on the outside to kill the things on the in" all i need is a friend

BYE BECKI

Re: LOSER
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 03:00:42 2001 (#5211)

once you post here we're all friends...I hope this message finds you in better spirits...I cut for years but scratching until bleed more recently...b/c my nails are always there...had an okay past few days and haven't done much, which is much better than before...keep up the talking...there are a lot of people here with different backgrounds that can help in different ways

Re: LOSER
Posted by cate on Thu Mar 29 07:11:41 2001 (#5270)

I'll be your friend :o) you can e-mail me if ya ever want to talk, I totally understand what you're saying, so e-mail me some time, I hope everything's going ok be safe! *hugs* cate

An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by laura rose on Tue Mar 27 23:48:36 2001 (#5199)

*looks around* wow, it's been ages since I've been here. I'm not too sure why I'm here... but whatever. I finally got on medication. Paxil.. I'm not liking the side-effects too much.. I actually feel more depressed now, but oh well. I'm used to that, I suppose. Hersh and I are still together, and I love him more every day. I guess I'm not as much of a bitch as I was about a month ago.. but maybe I am one. Heh.. I dunno. Hey guys, I'm sorry for everything. Perhaps I need to hold my tongue a little bit more. I mean, you all hate me now... but it doesn't really bother me. I wish it did. Then perhaps it would prove that I am human and I do have feelings. Maybe I regret hurting some of you... like Melissa, blue rose, alana, kate, strider... those people. Oh well. I cut last night. It's the first time in about a week and a half. Here's another poem for you guys...

Vacating The Premises 3.8.01 Divide these scars amongst the commoners that dwell beneath noble plagues. On the left, make room for dirty water, and the right - the ones that brag. Only falter when asked a question that makes your knees too weak. And when you feel the earth is moving, numb the Gods that speak. A blister from the dying father, who placed the mark inside. Twenty more nights of repressed neglect should make the fear subside. I'll be the lick that heals your wounds whenever your faith can't breathe. And when you brush the dust away, I'll remain upon your sleeve. Yours is the comfort that keeps me warm. He was just killing time. When I was biting my lip at night, you're the one that was on my mind. One last visual of the bleeding heart is all my tired eyes want. Then it's time so say goodbye to the memories keeping me gaunt. Push the dependent to exceed the cost, but don't let the violence rise. Cover your mouth that keeps me vague - look me in my eyes.

Take care, and be safe, okay guys? I believe that I was the one that created Canada... and I'm inviting you all up there... you can hang out in my room.. just don't steal my Sarah McLachlan cd's and we'll be okay. =)

Love you guys... I really do ~Laura

Re: An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Wed Mar 28 00:45:37 2001 (#5201)

Actually, I was about to e-mail you find out how you were - yes, it took me that long to work up the courage to contact another human being. I don't know if you would have answered me, but I'm glad you posted.

Re: An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 00:56:02 2001 (#5205)

Hi, Its nice to here from you. I'm sorry you aren't doing so well. YOu didn't hurt me I'm just overreacting. Sara's comming out with a new cd did you here? SHe awesome. I have her sheet music. I play the piano and sing to her. Its hard getting up that high. But I'm getting better. Well talk to ya later! Love, Kate

Re: An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 02:40:47 2001 (#5209)

ahhhhh, sappy female music... *l*

give me Metallica, Live (Secret Samahdi) or Tool anyday

Re: An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 28 16:36:07 2001 (#5233)

I love Metallica. DO you like Godsmack? I'm going to see them in April.

Re: An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by anona1 on Wed Mar 28 20:46:34 2001 (#5246)

yeah, they're good, probably will get their new album

Re: An update, not that anyone really cares.
Posted by Nicke on Wed Mar 28 20:06:07 2001 (#5241)

Hey there, It was me you set out to hurt and I don't hate you. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that is as fair as it can be.

I am on Paxil as well, only it is not called Paxil it is called Seroxat. I didn't like the side effects much at first either but I have found that they have got a lot better now!!

Stay strong, Nicke. XXXX