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Threads 751 to 775

four days...
Posted by jennyfer on Tue May 28 00:03:43 2002 (#3450)

hay guys...i really don't know what to do anymore i mean i got dumped TWICE in the past 2 days...i feel really depressed and i just wanna tear at myself...i dunno like i feel that i must pay for this u know?? i don't cry...i don't know why...the tears just won't come out...so yeah i don't know what to do...fuck...sometimes i care too much...i try and try...but no matter how hard i try i'm never gonna get there...i gave her (yes as in another female) my heart and she broke it she tore it to pieces...it's like i'm begining to think that this whole relationship was just another lie...but hay shit happens...i don't know how much more of...life...i can take

Re: four days...
Posted by KAT on Tue May 28 00:43:16 2002 (#3451)

you know what I have said for a long time.
fuck relationships...
I know that won't get me very far in life..
but stil..fuck relationships.
sorry not very helpful
feel better sweetie

KAT

Re: four days...
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:20:22 2002 (#3502)

That really sucks sweetheart. Relationships are a nightmare at the best of times, (or so I've heard!) Try and keep your chin up hun, we're here for you. Love always, el x

Re: four days...
Posted by Nicke on Tue May 28 11:05:40 2002 (#3465)

Awww...I am soo sorry you feel so bad, but Hey it is their loss (yet another cliche).

Soory I can't be more of a help but I don't really now what to say except that don't worry in time you will find someone who loves you...

That sounded so bad...sorry

Nicke

Re: four days...
Posted by stranger in the night on Tue May 28 15:38:56 2002 (#3478)

hehehe im gonna be no better than KAT and nicke here...hehe lol!!....

but just try to move on (oh fuck i can see you hitting the screen in rage right now)

just remember that there is someone out there for you (oh bloody hell lol)

take care and good luck in finding true love.....

...
Posted by unknown on Tue May 28 01:30:27 2002 (#3452)

hey all im back and been free or cutting for 4 months just now but now cutting is not enuff for me i have tried to overdose twice on paracetamel once with 10 and once with 15 i feel like such a falure it hasent worked i dont wana to cut to my vains or hang myself i need a easy way to die is a over dose on drugs my only way out now?

Re: ...
Posted by unknown on Tue May 28 02:08:51 2002 (#3453)

noone answered im upset

Re: ...
Posted by KAT on Tue May 28 04:15:20 2002 (#3456)

I dont know the answer..but I know how you feel.
I can't even kill myself right, Ive thought that a lot especially after trying it.

I know this has been said before but it's not worth it.

Here's a quote for you by a very good band
"don't you try to die, like me
it's livid and it's lies, makes graves!"

Yah I guess it's not so meaningful..but it's really not worth dying.
your going to wear yourself out more then if you just tried living.
Yah it's hard as shit..and it sucks a lot sometimes..but just see what you can do for yourself for the time being
because I promise later on down the road you'll look back and be glad you are okay .

love ya
KAT

Re: ...
Posted by Broken Girl on Tue May 28 17:18:16 2002 (#3490)

Hey
I've ODd three times, slit my wrists as well as sttempted hanging and strangling. So I know how you feel. You've ODd twice, Ive attempted suicide so many times Ive lost count, so Iam one hell of a failure.
but suicide isnt the only way.
I can't say that Im thankful that I made it, Im suicidly depressed. But in some ways I am. Get help. I did, but Im limited thanks to my caring sharing mother, take advantage of all the possiblities that I cant.
Ella x

Re: ...
Posted by Nicke on Tue May 28 11:08:35 2002 (#3466)

I don't really know what to say because I don't want to tell you how to kill yourself...

I want to tell you that things will be okay and congratulations on not cutting for 4 months...

Look at the positives in your life...maybe there was a reason for you not 'succeeding' in taking your life...you have to find that thing and hold on to it...

Stay strong, Nicke.XX

Re: ...
Posted by stranger in the night on Tue May 28 15:41:42 2002 (#3479)

well im not going to to tell you how to kill yourself...that would just be wrong of me.... i should be telling you that lifes precious and just remember all those that you love....but then you dont wnat to here that do you??

so im gunna just say take care and good luck in whatever you decide to do...oh and congrats on four months....woohooo xxx

Re: ...
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:23:45 2002 (#3503)

I've tried to kill myself on numerous occasions, every time some damn do gooder has been there to get in the way. I can't tell you how to kill yourself because I don't think I could live with myself. Just try to take each day as it comes sweetie, that's the only thing that's worked for me.
Love always, el x x

long time
Posted by liverpoolfc on Tue May 28 03:51:48 2002 (#3454)

Hey everybody. It's been a long time since I've posted and I just wanted to see how everybody's doing. I miss coming on here but I've just been so busy.

Re: long time
Posted by Nicke on Tue May 28 11:10:22 2002 (#3467)

Hello

I haven't really spoken to you since I joined the board again...

We should really hate you because I support Manchester United and have done for...ever...I will give you the benefit of the doubt though...LOL!!!

Nicke

Re: long time
Posted by stranger in the night on Tue May 28 15:43:17 2002 (#3480)

hey nicke!!!!! shit you support man u??? oh hell.....liverpoolfc girly you and me need to stick together lol!!!!

i am as good as can be.....how are you?? hope you are ok...take care xxxx

Re: long time
Posted by Broken Girl on Tue May 28 17:13:32 2002 (#3489)

Hey
We all get busy sometimes... I aint been around as much as I used to, but I guess I'm still here once a day.
Hi and how are you?
Ella x

Re: long time
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:25:55 2002 (#3504)

Hey sweetie! it's good to hear from you!!! I'm....well I'm still here, that's really all I can say. :-)
How are you? Hope you're ok hun!
Love always, el x

Just an idea...
Posted by Nicke on Tue May 28 11:19:12 2002 (#3468)

Well I am relatively new to the board so I was wondering if it might be a good idea for people to share things about themselves..such as name, age, country you live in, what meds you are on...that kind of thing...

I'll start:

Name: Nicke
Age: 18
Country: England
Meds: Paroxetine, 30mgs daily...(bummer)
I am also at college studying for my A levels in Psychology, Sociology, Law and Philosophy of Religion. (pretty boring really)

Just an idea, thought it would let people know abit about each other...you don't have to put anything you don't want to...

Nicke.XX

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by stranger in the night on Tue May 28 15:45:57 2002 (#3481)

name: donna

age: 17 (and a half which sounds better cuz nearly 18 yay!)

country: england...west yorkshire

im not on any meds cuz ive refused them.....good or bad? who knows? i personally dont care??

been cutting for a few years now...... and urm cant think of anything else really??.......

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by KAT on Tue May 28 16:31:16 2002 (#3484)

Yay! it's always fun when we do this
:)
I go by KAT

Im 17

I live down south in the U.S.

I'm on welbutrin-good stuff
revia-wonder drug
seroquel-works miracles

Um..I am in school..working on getting out of there fast as possible.
Cool fields you're studying Nicke

KAT

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by Broken Girl on Tue May 28 17:12:15 2002 (#3488)

cool idea

Name: Ella
Age: 14
I'm not on any meds, mum wont sign the papers.
I'm at high school
Country: Englang, Norfolk (but think of London as my home as I grew up there, I hate it here)

Thats about me done...
Love you all,
Ella x

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:31:16 2002 (#3505)

Yeay!!!! I've done this quite a few times! hehe!
Name: Eleanor (obviously!!)
Age: 17 (18 in september, wohoo! Never thought I'd live this far!)
Live: In derbyshire which is in the east midlands of england in some grotty little market town which attracts many tourists for some reason. People who live outside are queing to get in, everyone else is queing to get out!!
Meds: Lopferine or something like that, can never remember!!
I'm taking the rest of the year off my A levels at the moment because "the stress was too much for me", hmmmmmmmmmmmm, but I'm studying English Lit, English Lang, Art and Politics.

Thats me all done!
El x x

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by Rhonda on Wed May 29 01:09:06 2002 (#3512)

I just love these cause I can find out more about
"my kids". I'm Rhonda, but I don't cut. My daughter did and that's why I'm here. I'm 41,and
fixing to turn 42 next month. I live in Western
Oklahoma where we get a lot of tornados. I like
country music(I know!), but will listen to almost
anything.(except rap!) I like to read, putter around in my yard and fish with my husband in
Colorado. That's my favorite vacation spot. We
leave in a few weeks to go there. Oh, I also run
a day care in my home for 7 cute little kids. I'll
stop for now, cause I'm sure you've had enough.
Take care all.
Love, Rhonda

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by kae on Wed May 29 12:33:36 2002 (#3520)

:)

Name - Katie
Age - 17
From - A small rural town called Matamata in New Zealand
Meds - none...its been suggested several times now but no action taken yet...

I've been self-injuring since I was 15, although I remember a few SI incidents when I was 12 or so.

My dream is to be loved, respected, admired...and famous. Unfortunately, that sugary dream tends to seem more and more unstable every day....hence why I'm getting sick to death of living this way if its for no cause.

Re: Just an idea...
Posted by GreenEggSam on Fri May 31 23:54:42 2002 (#3605)

Good idea!

Name: Samantha

Age: 16

Country: US (Chicago Area)

Meds: none...my mom doesn't want to believe I'm not Susie Sunshine

Miscellany: I LOVE my music, anything that lets me vent; I dance (ballet, tap, lyrical,) which helps me stay partially sane; I write A LOT, but I don't generally let people read it...

Enough about me...later!

Yet another idea...
Posted by Nicke on Tue May 28 11:22:39 2002 (#3469)

Last time I was on this board...which I have later discovered was another board (I just follow the links), I tried something and it got a good response.

Every day or whatever, everyone has to write something positive that happened to them that day...The idea behind it that it gets us all focusing on the positives in our lives instead of the negatives all the time.

It is so much easier to see the negatives we you are feeling down...

Just a thought, let me know what you think...

Nicke

Re: Yet another idea...
Posted by stranger in the night on Tue May 28 15:47:00 2002 (#3482)

yep i agree........ my positive for the day......i havent cut so far..... thats good right? hmm.

Re: Yet another idea...
Posted by KAT on Tue May 28 16:32:51 2002 (#3485)

That would be a good idea

Like add them to your posts??

KAT

Re: Yet another idea...
Posted by Broken Girl on Tue May 28 17:09:16 2002 (#3487)

Hi
Yeah, my therapist tried to explain this to me yesterday... she wanted to try and explain what its like to be optimistic... Im not very good at stuff like that. But its a great idea, it might snap me out of this mood.
Ella x

Re: Yet another idea...
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:33:33 2002 (#3506)

I think that's a great idea! It could really help and it would force me to admit that some good things HAVE happened rather than to focus on the negatives. Nice one! You're good at this idea thing aren't you?! :-)
Love always, el x x x

dont reply....just a vent
Posted by kae on Tue May 28 12:52:21 2002 (#3470)

thanks for the replies to my last vent. here i am venting again.....
theres something aching in me....like this panic rising up into my chest and knotting all my insides together. im scared, im angry, im confused, im lost.
i so badly need to talk to someone. but my friends are completely ignoring my 'situation'...which both helps and hurts. its like nothing happened three weeks ago when they were called into the counselor's office and told that the time had come for my parents to be involved and that they'd have to 'look after me'. ha.....neither of them even rang me that night.

im playing extra-happy girl at school. im not extra-happy inside...im not even slightly happy.....but when i play happy my friends smile and laugh with me. it makes them happy to see me 'happy'.

tonight i tried to tell my best friend how i was feeling. she asked if my feelings had changed since 2 weeks ago...i admitted to her that two weeks ago, i decided i was going to end it. i dont know what i expected....i just needed her to know how i'd felt and how close i came. all she said was "yeah i gathered that". thats all. it was a "yeah, so?" reaction. it was "yeah, but it didnt last long, it didnt matter." i felt so terrible....i said "oh...charming." she said "well you were pretty upfront about it."

fantastic. she never took me seriously, not once. she still doesnt. she thinks it was all attention-seeking...she might as well have just said it. i dont even know why she said i was upfront about it....i know i said a few times that i didnt see myself getting through the year but nothing more than that...i never told her or anyone that i wrote out my suicide note, just to 'have'...and on the worst night i put the note in my pocket and tied a plastic bag over my head, testing how long i could lie there with no air. it wasnt a suicide attempt, it was just a test, like the time i tested how many painkillers it would take to make me sick.
nobody has seen my arms. NOBODY. i havent shown anyone, ive gone out of my way to make sure no one sees. its been months since anyone saw. my arms look disgusting.....its the worst they've ever been. the scars will be there for months yet, years even.

im just so angry and frustrated.....im sick of waiting round for this fucking counsellor. im sick of playing miss happy with my friends. im sick of hiding how i really feel....
but mostly im sick of the fact that nobody actually wants to know.....they're quite relieved that they dont know anything, actually. they seem to want to believe that all my problems have been solved overnight, that im fine again, that they dont have to do anything ever again.

FUCK im so FUCKING pissed off......

i actually think im going to cry....

hahaha no such luck. these eyes stay dry...

i guess theres only one alternative...
why did i even think that i might stop hurting myself?? why did i ever think i could do it? why did i ever think it should happen???

FUCK this world.

kae

Re: dont reply....just a vent
Posted by stranger in the night on Tue May 28 15:48:55 2002 (#3483)

hehe i kno you said dont reply but hell you might not have meant it and then you could get real dissapointed if noone replies so i will...hehe lol

im sorry youre feeling so shit and as i said before think about changing your councillor? that might help a bit i dunno...

take care xxx

Re: dont reply....just a vent
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:35:30 2002 (#3507)

I can't say anything useful because that sounds so like me I can't find anything positive to say.
I just felt like i should say something.
Love you loads sweetheart.
(((((((((((((HUGE hug))))))))))))))))))
El x x x

Re: dont reply....just a vent
Posted by KAT on Tue May 28 16:39:39 2002 (#3486)

I've found that telling people (such as friends, and maybe family) is not a good idea.
I mean it can be helpful, but I've gotten the same responce you have..
well I've gotten
"shut up and snap out of it"
"grow up, stop being a baby"
"go kill yourself then!"

yah so fuck people, you know?
The cutting and harm does get worse, as it is with you..it'll get so bad you might accidently even make that fatal cut..that Im sure has happened far to many times in the past.

Be careful..those suicide tests and attempts are other ways besides cutting( i see it like that)
because let's face it..the cutting stops working.
It might still help a little, but it just does.
Is it making you feel calm or 'happy' now?
No..I dont think it is..( dont know though)

Kae..(if this is the same Kae)..you're a trong and loving person..
your just in one of those deep shitty fucked up holes of despair that'll get you deeper and deeper into this mess.

I dont know what to do on your own, I havent done that
The solution for me was to send me away although Im still a minor I guess I had no other choice and thats what got me through it..

but to do it on your own your going to need something besides yourself..
good luck

take care
please

KAT
(had to reply)

Re: dont reply....just a vent
Posted by kae on Wed May 29 12:42:46 2002 (#3521)

thank you KAT.....that meant a lot :)

i did end up in a mess last night...and so did my arm. i'm angry that nobody wants to help anymore, when just a few weeks ago they were all breathing down my neck, trying to help me at the same time.

but i love reading your posts...they do help a little.

luv, kae

Yet another poem for you all
Posted by Broken Girl on Tue May 28 17:23:04 2002 (#3492)

Friends are my enemies
Parents are just strangers
Home is now a prison
School is full of dangers
My mind is a snare
My soul is a trap
Took a wrong turning
Now Ive lost my map
Scared Im going to live
Scared Im going to die
Life moves so slowly
Time seems to fly
Nothing is ever right
All I do is wrong
So I stick to doing nothing
Singing the same old song

NICKE
Posted by LOST on Tue May 28 17:24:52 2002 (#3493)

hey nicke... you asked if i was the person who had started posting when you were leaving some time ago... well honey,i have no clue... i've been here for like 4 years now. It could have been me... only a few other people have tried to post with my name... i dunno... but if you want to talk to me or anything, let me know ok? :)

Re: NICKE
Posted by KAT on Tue May 28 19:41:25 2002 (#3495)

This place has been open for four years??

I thought it was less..oh well..sorry to bother your post.

Re: NICKE
Posted by LOST on Tue May 28 23:30:01 2002 (#3511)

i'm including the old board also

everything is going okay
Posted by liverpoolfc on Tue May 28 17:41:00 2002 (#3494)

Everything seems like it is going along well. I just celebrated my 21st birthday without my best friend. She got mad at me once again and has given me no reason. She just ignores me. I've only cut once in the past couple of months, I regretted it but I just had the need to. Other than that there is not much else to tell.

Re: everything is going okay
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:37:33 2002 (#3508)

GRRRRRRRRRRRR! Friends suck!
It's good to see you here again honey!!!
Just thought I'd say hi anyways! :-)
Love ya loads, el x

some days...
Posted by J on Tue May 28 20:18:54 2002 (#3501)

Today has been such a bitch!!! The past two weeks have been low but 2day has plummeted!!! Reminds me of past feelings that were well buried.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGG GGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

thats better now :-> sorry ,pointless post.

All you beautiful people give me a smile XXX
The lower we get the tougher we are when we're high.Trust me,life gets better through time.

Love and support

J xx

Re: some days...
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:39:13 2002 (#3509)

You can have two smiles! :-) :-)
Sorry, I'm in a weird mood today!
Hope things get better soon hun!
Love always, el x

Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thought!
Posted by Eleanor on Tue May 28 20:51:30 2002 (#3510)

I'm so fed up. When I decided to take the rest of the year off school to try and get myself together my friends were all really supportive. They said they'd keep in touch, nothing would really change, they wanted to help me get through all this.....Yeah right. They just wanted to get rid of me so they could get on with their lives without the added inconvienience of having a friend with "emotional difficulties".
I ring and they don't return calls, I email and they don't reply. I don't exist to them anymore. I never did in the first place. I have noone who I can talk to about anything. Just little things like moaning about not having a boyfriend, meaningless shit like that, that's all I want. That's all I ever wanted. I never burdened them with what I was going through, it was my bloody teacher who brought it all out into the open. Even then I didn't want to talk to them about it, it was them who made me, I think they looked upon me as a new project. Something to talk about until they got bored.
I just hate feeling so isolated. I have no life, noone to go out with, noone to ring, just noone.
I haven't cut for two weeks now, but I've not even got anyone to share that with. They wanted me to stop, but now that I'm making progress who cares? I might as well not bother. I'm no happier. I'm denying myself the one thing that makes me feel better and noone cares. What's the point?
I'm sorry to rant. Feel free to ignore this crap.

Oh yeah, and my positive thing for the day....
The only good thing that's happened is that I spent the day with stuart at work. he makes me smile. :-)
Hope everyone's ok. Love to all, el x

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 02:17:15 2002 (#3514)

I try to be positive and give helpful advice when I can, but I have to say that I hate the concept of friends and how they are "always " there for you.
my best friend ruined my life, my secrets because she "cared" about me, but now she calls me psycho and harasses me. I have no one..not a one.
I mean maybe my brother but he doesnt want to hear my crap..so I understand.
It sucks having a car, a little bit of money but no friends to go anywhere with
:(

I've learned to appreciate myself, or I'd die..so I guess that's what matters really.
yourself

Take care!
:)

KAT

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by Star on Wed May 29 04:49:37 2002 (#3517)

i know what it is like to have no one it really sucks, but keep your chin up we need people like you in the world, cuz otherwize the world would be run by airheads. And trust me having a boyfriend isn't all it's cracked up to be. I never had a boyfriend untill 3 weeks ago, and it's really really hard and strange trying to keep up a relationship! But Congrats on the not cutting for 2 weeks! Stoping is the hardest thing i've ever had to do! Good luck and your rants aren't crap, they're your feelings and they are important! P.S. even though i don't know you DO i care and if you ever need to rant i'm here!

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by She on Wed May 29 19:55:04 2002 (#3533)

Hello gourgouse.
He he look i got on here in the end loads of stuffs happend ill email you in a mimuit and explane all.
Ohhh baba there stupid and they totaly dont deserve you you are so good to people they are really missing out by not responding but i guess in a way your moving on and getting new friends like well Stuwart(ohh he sounds so sweet).
Lovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee yyyyyyyyyyoooouu
She

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:23:36 2002 (#3541)

SHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
(((((((((((((((HUGS!!!)))))) )))))))))))))
I've missed you so much princess. AAARGH! Life sucks. Anyway that doesn't matter, it's so good to hear from you!!
Love you baba!!
El x x x

p.s ((((((((((((((((((more hugs!))))))))))))))))

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by She on Wed May 29 21:55:38 2002 (#3560)

I love you to .
(((((((((((((((((HUGZ))))))) ))))))))))))))
ok lets have somemore
HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz
ok just one mor hug
(((((((((((((((hug)))))))))) )))))))
I love you so so so much my queen
She

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 22:24:25 2002 (#3564)

hehe! You make me smile! :-)
So he bought you a drink did he? Why does that not surprise me?? lol!!!!
Love you baba,
((((((((hugs))))))))))
Elle x x x x

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by liverpoolfc on Thu May 30 00:17:58 2002 (#3565)

I can definately relate about sorry as hell friends. Mine did the same thing. They acted like they wanted to help me and then the very next day they ignored me like I wasn't there. I decided I didn't need them. E-mail me if you just feeling like talking about the shit you used to talk to your friends about.

Re: Friends are hell.....and my 1st positive thoug
Posted by Eleanor on Thu May 30 17:50:41 2002 (#3573)

Thank you. I've also come to the conclusion I don't need them, but it still hurts a bit.
Thanks, I will email you sometime if that's ok.
Love always, el x x x

Faker
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 02:02:26 2002 (#3513)

I don't get it. Weeks ago cutting was my life. I was like any one of you, I couldn't stop or control myself. When something upset me, I did some bad shit. But now, no there's nothing. I refuse to believe the pills are doing this. They control moods, not disorders. I have no desire to cut or harm myself, even when things go wrong. I should be happy I guess, but I'm not. I get this feeling maybe nothing was wrong in the first place. I feel cheated, as if all the trouble I put my family and friends through was a bid for attention and now that I have it, it's gone away. I'm so confused and I feel like I'd rather be cutting that be nothing... I can't explain how frustrating this is for me. Can anyone relate?

Kayleigh

Re: Faker
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 02:20:50 2002 (#3515)

I can really relate in a way.
I don't know if it's the medicine or psycho-therapy or just all the bullshit I've been through but back when I was cvutting I just wouldn't want to (towards the end)
I would think about it and my skin would feel cold..I would just imagine how it would hurt(even though it never did)

Im not sure where this comes from, I guess it is a good thing...I mean I know it is.
I am on a medication that is supposed to control my impulses to cut.

Before I was on this medication, I didnt want to do it..but I did because it was basically all I had left.
Thats what landed me in the hospital AGAIN.

but anyway..just wanted to say I understand
:)
KAT

Re: Faker
Posted by kae on Wed May 29 12:56:45 2002 (#3522)

I know exactly what you mean....after my counsellor blew my life to pieces and told my parents, then began arranging 'help' for me, it was a like a huge reality check. I was in so much shock at the drastic change that cutting didn't fill the gap it made. Everyone assumed that my SI would get worse as a result of all the shit that blew up...but suddenly I couldn't cut properly anymore. It drove me crazy because I didn't want to believe that it only took some attention from other people to make me stop cutting. That wasn't the case....my SI has returned to what it was.

Don't pressure yourself about it....if the meds are making you stop, theres not a lot you can do about it. You can't beat chemical things. And anyway...imagine being cut-free! Give it a trial, see how you feel about in a few weeks time. I'm sure you'll start feeling glad that you don't have to cut anymore....sometimes I wish for that.

Take care
luv, kae

Re: Faker
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 20:32:54 2002 (#3543)

yeah i guess i could give it a try. does anyone else believe they won't make it past a certain age. i KNOW i won't live poast 21. i just know. but i also know everyone is talking abhout me and my co-worker is trying to poison me. lol. at least i know thats crazy. i feel like shit and so happy. i hate these meds. i wanna be depressed again. i like being mad, crazy, fucked up, it felt like i was me. now i don't know who i am without it. i feel like i have wasted so many years and i just wanna be back there, doing what i did. i'm making no sense and that may be because of my drinking. and i didn't take my pills today. why do i wish i was dead even though my life is getting better. why do i want to be miserable? i can't even understand myself. i can't even explain myself.

i know the main trigger for vutting and that is guilt. guilt for skipping uni, guilt for hurting people. my dad told me i'm making him sick with worry over me. my friends hate it when i do 'things' for attention when i go out wiht them. they won't lilke me anymore and i hate that. i don't want them to leave me. but i need to do stupid stuff because i like the attention it gets me.

anyone here live in new york, wanna meet up and have a ritual suicide, i'm going on holiday 18th june. kinda excited, but have no money so that's made things quite bad.

anyway, enough drunk babbling, i'm gonna go out, get more drunk and proably cut, just for old times sakes!

Kayleigh, who needs some one to make everything better.

Re: Faker
Posted by Jason on Fri May 31 08:01:05 2002 (#3585)

"does anyone else believe they won't make it past a certain age. i KNOW i won't live poast 21. i just know."

Yup, the magic age for me is going to be 30 (I'm 22 now). It's comforting to know that my life is over halfway finished. I just hope I have the guts to finally end it when that fateful day comes.

"i hate these meds. i wanna be depressed again. i like being mad, crazy, fucked up, it felt like i was me. now i don't know who i am without it. i feel like i have wasted so many years and i just wanna be back there, doing what i did."

I sorta relate to that. I took a long break from SI and now I want it back. I SI'd again last week and it was goooood. I plan on doing some more in the near future. I know I've wasted the past 22 years and I don't really care. The trick is to not think about it. Just be glad that it will all end at some point. It kinda sounds like you're trying too much. Just let everything that doesn't matter slide.

"why do i wish i was dead even though my life is getting better. why do i want to be miserable? i can't even understand myself. i can't even explain myself."

I can't explain that very well either. (..and in a dream I'm a different me/with a different you/we fit perfectly/and for once in my life I feel complete/and I still want to ruin it -- Nine Inch Nails) That's the only way I can describe it. It's just an undying urge for self destruction in any way, shape or form. I'm determined to get my life over with ASAP. I don't want friends. I don't want people to care. Just to run out of reasons to live.

I don't know if this helped/hurt/whatever. But now you know you're not so alone.

Anywayz,
:·:·:·:·Jason:·:·:·:·:

Re: Faker
Posted by laura on Fri May 31 18:13:04 2002 (#3590)

god, how well did u explain that! thanx! that is EXACTLY how i feel only i cudnt put it into words! Thanx again! love laura xxx

Is this bad?
Posted by Star on Wed May 29 03:58:07 2002 (#3516)

I was just wondering what some of you think:

It's been 41 days since i last cut, i have tried very hard to get over this addiction, but i keep having dreams that i'm cutting and i can't bring myself to throw away the things that i use to cut with. Is this a bad thing?

Re: Is this bad?
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 09:07:24 2002 (#3518)

I don't think that that's a bad thing. Cutting was a big part of your life and it's not going to be that easy to forget. In time the dreams will probably go away and you might even be able to throw all that stuff away, but until then don't feel bad about it. You can't erase something like cutting just like that and I can relate to the not wanting to throw stuff away thing.
Take care sweetie, love always, el x

Re: Is this bad?
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 17:37:52 2002 (#3531)

The dreams probably aren't so bad seeing as how the mind makes dreams to go into the unconcious and also to try and solve problems..it's probably just working it's way through.

but about saving the stuff you use..I dont know.
for me (and this might not be the same for you)

I didnt have anything in the house, I gave up all razors, my mom hid tem along with kinves and anything else sharp..I mean of course I could have used just about anything but without the access to those sharp objects it really saved me from cutting myself many of times!!

KAT

Re: Is this bad?
Posted by She on Wed May 29 19:59:17 2002 (#3534)

Hiya
Nah i dont think its at all bad your doing very well sweetie.
I went a long time without cutting befor and i never got rid of my blades and i had some horribal trips of cutting i think its because it is my method of controll over my life how i disapline or gorund myself and i needed to be reminded that it was there if i need it .
Keep it upp sweetie you sound strong.
Love and support
She

Re: Is this bad?
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 20:35:37 2002 (#3545)

Fact (or so I'm told): Cutter prefer to use the same items to cut, some even won't cut if they can't use thier usual item.

So?: When y ou feel ready, tell a friend where everything you cut with is and get them to take them away, whether you change your mind or not. You'd be surprised how much easier it is when you don't have easy access.

sorry bout typing, kinda alcohol influenced.

Re: Is this bad?
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 20:51:53 2002 (#3554)

no hunni its not a bad thing. youll throw away the things you use when you are ready. sorry to hear your having dreams about it that must be irritating? but congrats on 41 days?!!! (i think you said 41??) but congats!! yay!!!

just a poem
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 13:16:50 2002 (#3523)

I am living proof of what you have created
A walking talking disaster that is openly hated
Everything that i do revolves around you and i hate it
Consumed with the evil inside your concern is belated

Your promises that were eventually made over the years
The aching fear in my eyes that reduced me to tears
All of the feelings that i became good at faking
As the years went by, those promises we were both breaking

My past is eerily empty and it seems so surreal
I am now in the present its a great place to heal
My future looks bleak but i know i will survive
As i have great faith in the fact that i am still alive.

i dunno....just thought id share it seeing as i havent posted poetry for ages.

Re: just a poem
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 17:07:12 2002 (#3528)

I like it..
I like reading everyones unique individual poems you know because you can kinda see where tehy are coming from a little better.
take care

KAT

Re: just a poem
Posted by She on Wed May 29 20:00:29 2002 (#3535)

Thats lovley
Thnx
She

Re: just a poem
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:10:59 2002 (#3537)

that was good hun. love ya, el x

Sorry guys...(poss trig)
Posted by Nicke on Wed May 29 13:53:45 2002 (#3524)

I came on to post some replys but am feeling a bit unstable right now...

Today is the day...18 years ago today my twin sister Claire died...

I feel on the verge of a panic attack, you know when you can just feel one coming on??

I cut really bad this morning...it didn't stop bleeding for ages...had to get my friend round with the first aid kit which was bad because she has never seen any of my cuts and I didn't want her to.

I am going to the cemetary later...wish me luck.

I am finishing college for 2 weeks today and don't have access to the internet at home...so I will try to respond at work but don't worry if you don't hear from me for a while!!!

If anyone wants me then just email me!!!

Nicke.XX

Re: Sorry guys...(poss trig)
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 14:08:25 2002 (#3525)

hey xhuxk fo dnt you worry aboiut oyu r visiit to the ceemtry i kno wthis i shard ahday rof you but you iwl survive im teling you it gets eaasiyesr"!!1111!!! i hope oy uhave as good a s dyay as oyu can possibly hVE AND OTREWMEN rememeneber i fm with you ejsjs yeha? try not to worry aboyo tt you s r cut ds you r friencd iwl undrestanfd

ytha takew cae are ..xxxxxx

Re: Sorry guys...(poss trig)
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 17:09:02 2002 (#3529)

Visiting the grave is good.
It helps a lot, I do it all the time.
Take care
*hugs*

Im sorry you cut..I know your sister would love you no matter what still does.

Good luck in school

KAT

Re: Sorry guys...(poss trig)
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:14:10 2002 (#3538)

hey sweetheart.
Just remember what I said before, your sister is lucky to have someone like you to remember and care about her. Good luck for visiting the grave, I wish I could visit my brother's grave.
Take care hun, I might email you sometime if that's ok?
Love always, el x

Re: Sorry guys...(poss trig)
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 20:37:40 2002 (#3546)

ok nicke just to say sorry about my post earlier....i really dont know why i tried to reply in that state (v insensitive) sorry....incase you had trouble undrestanding........

good luck with your visit to the cemetry hun. i hope it goes well. youve probably already been now?...so i hope it went well then yeah? its so hard sometimes huh? and try not to worry about your cutting htis morning........ your friend will understand so dont beat yourself up about it yeah?

take care xxxx

ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 14:11:33 2002 (#3526)

sorry guys but in a a m really pised at them mo im tellin gya it ssiioo gfubni it really id s!!!!11!111!! i cant event type proplrery !!11!!!!!!!!!! hehehehhehehhehehehehhehhhehhe heheeh i wish i wasdeads eifuoinjdn im telin goyu i relay of r i i want to die o bad i iwrhs i was edead i bve had enuoght

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 14:48:27 2002 (#3527)

yeah guy s irealy have had enough. ibve just puked all over te place in the bathrom and i fele even worse thn befor i thik i need ot lie fo wn

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 17:10:20 2002 (#3530)

I'd hold your hair back if I were there for you..but all I am is here
so All I can say is be careful

KAT

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:16:11 2002 (#3539)

Oh sweetheart, you know I'd be there if I could. I've been in this situation so many times and I've never had anybody. Just take care and try and drink plenty of water. I know that makes me sound like a parent, but it really will stop you feeling shitty later.
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
El x

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 20:24:49 2002 (#3542)

Me toooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm drinking. My friends say I'm an alcoholic, but as it's all their fault, I don't gove a shit.

:o))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))

Best remedy for feeling sick when you're pissed? Glass of milk and slice of bread. No joke, works like a charm. Goes away in seconds, swear to God. Anyway, gonna go to pub now and drink more!!!!!!!

God I love it when Iim this happy!

Kayleigh

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 20:34:00 2002 (#3544)

ok i feel silly now....my head is aching and i feel well rough....sorry...... geeesh my typing was atrocious wasnt it?! xxx

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 21:08:50 2002 (#3557)

Right there wqithy ya! Know what it's like to typew when yuour drunk. But hey, at lkeats we c ould undersytand you!

Kayliegh *who is getting tired of using an alias*

Re: ij do rtutppiseseedd
Posted by She on Wed May 29 21:58:39 2002 (#3561)

he he he he he he :o)
your so drunk
Love you
She

Hey
Posted by Broken Girl on Wed May 29 19:21:13 2002 (#3532)

Hi
I'm sorry, my heart hasn't been in posting recently, I've been at the bodies under siege board and very a nice board it is too. But I'm here in heart and spirit now, so how are you all doing?
My mum just told me that I need to get out more, I'm too anti-social, but apart from that things are okay I guess…
Love you all loads
Ella x

Re: Hey
Posted by She on Wed May 29 20:05:00 2002 (#3536)

hello sweetie.
Guess what im officially the dumbest person in the world .He he i swear theres no hope for me im compleatly .....(cant think of a word)well im not clever he he he.
Love you loads n loads
Hugzzzzzzz
She

Re: Hey
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:18:11 2002 (#3540)

Hey honey. i had one of my dad's friends who I barely know telling me that I need to get out more and I'm anti-social yesterday, nice huh?!
It's good to hear fom you baba!
Love you loads sweetie, el x

Re: Hey
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 20:38:32 2002 (#3547)

My parents are going to stupid lengths to get me out my room. When I was going to uni, i cut a lot. now i can spend all thsi time in my room, i don't. what don't they understand? why is it so unhealthy to be anti-social. i have friends on here right? don't know ya, but you all seem friendly and you'd be there if i was going through serious shit, right? i would for you and that's weird 'cause i don't know y'all. anyway...you're not anti-social, because you're here for your friends on the web. that makies you social (in my book)

sorry for typing
Kayleigh

Re: Hey
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 20:39:33 2002 (#3548)

hey!! lovely to hear from you! i hope you are ok and ill email you when my email is working gain....is yours fixed yet?? anyways speak to you later and take care chuck xxx

I is drunk again, wo-hoo!
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 20:42:28 2002 (#3549)

I'm so angry, I'm going to do some damage tonight. Anyone pisses me off and I swear to God I'll gut 'em. *g* anyone wanna start on me? I'm itchingt o put someone in hospital!

God, I feel like I used to! Fuck these pills, I wanna be me again.

It's great to feel. being numb just wasn't any fun.

Talk to em people, I need attention right now. Feel free to e-mail me, tell me how fucked up I am...that theres hope...that you understand...I just need to talk before the lonliness drives me insane.

I haven't been posting here long. But already, i prefer ytou all to real life.

Shitty how life can make things hard sometimes, huh?

*the very drunk* Kayleigh

Re: I is drunk again, wo-hoo!
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 20:45:08 2002 (#3551)

hey kayleigh just to let oyu know ill be around for a while if ya wanna chat. id email you but it aint working....so come on the psyke chat thing if you like? getting drunk....oh the joy!!

Re: I is drunk again, wo-hoo!
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:50:43 2002 (#3553)

I understand! it's great that you have some life left in you!! lol! I wish i was drunk right now.

Re: I is drunk again, wo-hoo!
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 20:58:24 2002 (#3555)

Sorry to drag you guys into my shit. I'm going out now, so I can't meet you in the chat room, stranger in the night (Donna isn't it?) anyway, thanks for chatting. Sometimes it's nice just to see someone hears you. You ever feel like no matter how loud you scream, no one hears?

Freedom ( may trigger)
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 20:44:58 2002 (#3550)

She smiles through her tears as she stares through the rain,
Her eyes see no more of the pain in her world.
The skies that were black are now parted by the sun,
One life has ended, her life has begun.

She didn't think twice as she picked up the blade,
To dull all her senses was her only wish.
As she lies in this mess that her life blood has made,
Some think she was murdered - she knows she was saved.

Her whole life was a lie and she hurt to the end,
Now darkness takes over and she is erased,
She can never return from this finality,
But she has no regrets,
She is happy.
She's free.

Re: Freedom ( may trigger)
Posted by stranger in the night on Wed May 29 20:46:52 2002 (#3552)

hey hun! how are you? that was really good cheers xxx

Re: Freedom ( may trigger)
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 21:13:39 2002 (#3558)

That was very good.

I always used to write about how things would be better and "free" if I were gone..but

I guess it's not so true.

KAT

Re: Freedom ( may trigger)
Posted by She on Wed May 29 22:02:05 2002 (#3562)

Hiya Beautifull
I love your writting ive missed it so much
Hay guess what he brought me a drink :o) i really should pack now.
Love you allways
She

Re: Freedom ( may trigger)
Posted by Broken Girl on Thu May 30 17:17:18 2002 (#3570)

Hi
Great poem! You'de better email me on my brand spanking new adress girl! And you too She and Donna, and the whole world! Sorry, I'm talking shit, you lot talk about how you shouldnt be aloud to go on computers drunk......... well I'm stoned and look at me! Well, actually you cant obviously unless there are secret cameras in the libary... sorry, Im rambling. I love you Eleanor! I love your poems! I love your writing!
Ella x

just a quick note
Posted by Kayleigh on Wed May 29 21:07:13 2002 (#3556)

Blue days always rain,
Silver lining has a cloud,
Glass is half empty.

Ain't that a Haiku worth listening to?

Why can't I feel, the things I did,
When I was young, a carefree kid?
Why can't I see the sunny days,
when games were played in many ways.

Why do I change, every day?
I never ever stay this way.
One day I'm high,
One day I'm low,
And yet I think it's time to go.
I cling to life, I want to die,
I will give up, I want to try,
When things go well, I wish they'd end,
When things go bad, I want to mend.

When nothing makes the slightest sense,
I feeling bad, I feel too tense,
I press a link and here I go,
you guys stop me from feeling low.

Thanks.

Re: just a quick note
Posted by KAT on Wed May 29 21:14:43 2002 (#3559)

hehe
that was cute
I never seen anyone post a poem about that before.
very cool

:)

KAT

Re: just a quick note
Posted by Eleanor on Wed May 29 22:18:46 2002 (#3563)

very cool! :-)
I liked it, made me smile.
Loadsa love, el x

Re: just a quick note
Posted by Broken Girl on Thu May 30 17:13:32 2002 (#3569)

Cool! I love it!
Ella x

New-but now i see...not alone
Posted by ~Lone WOlf~ on Thu May 30 04:22:55 2002 (#3566)

I found this site the other day...been reading over every post. I know how you guys feel...i'm there right now. For some reason i'm finding hope in this bored already. I hope I post more soon....

Re: New-but now i see...not alone
Posted by Broken Girl on Thu May 30 17:12:14 2002 (#3568)

Hi
Welcome, we are all very freindly I asure you! This board is the only hope I've got, I love it SOOOOOOOO much! Sorry, you all know that anyway, but hello and welcome and no you are definately not alone! Sorry, if this post hasnt put you off then I dont know what will...
Ella x

Re: New-but now i see...not alone
Posted by Eleanor on Thu May 30 17:35:07 2002 (#3571)

Hello! It's good to have you here! None of us bite (well not very often anyway! lol!)
I hope you come back and post lots!!!!
Love always, el x x x

Re: New-but now i see...not alone
Posted by She on Thu May 30 20:39:04 2002 (#3575)

Hiya
Its ice to have you here i can remember what a releaf it was when i found the old bord hope you like it here.
Love
She

Re: New-but now i see...not alone
Posted by Kayleigh on Fri May 31 01:20:36 2002 (#3579)

I'm quite new too. This board is a great place to say the things that you can't tell anyone else. We understand each other and thats a real help sometimes.

Re: New-but now i see...not alone
Posted by ~Lone WOlf~ on Mon Jun 3 06:06:21 2002 (#3649)

Thank-You

NEW ADDRESS!!!!!!!
Posted by Broken Girl on Thu May 30 17:10:07 2002 (#3567)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
NEW ADDRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
EMAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
I'M GONNA EMAIL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
ELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Re: NEW ADDRESS!!!!!!!
Posted by Eleanor on Thu May 30 17:48:37 2002 (#3572)

HIYA HONEY!!!!!!
LOL!
I've just written to you as a matter of fact so I expect to get one back! :-)
I've missed your emails loads!!!!
Love you tonnes and tonnes sweetie!!!
El x x x x x

Re: NEW ADDRESS!!!!!!!
Posted by Broken Girl on Thu May 30 19:32:07 2002 (#3574)

Hi girl!
I've just mailed back and I expect an answer!
Ella x

Re: NEW ADDRESS!!!!!!!
Posted by She on Thu May 30 20:41:01 2002 (#3576)

Hiya sweetie
I missed you it seames like we have all sort of driffted apart a little (sorry i wasnt here for a while) but its cool your back .
I LOVE you!!!
she

a question
Posted by anonomous...for now? on Thu May 30 20:52:57 2002 (#3577)

hey.....please dont be offended by what im about to ask.......

i was wondering if anyone could help me , i think i may have borderline personality disorder...well im not sure i just dont know. i was wondering if anyone here knew about it or does infact suffer from it?

please dont misinterpret my post.... i mean im not stereotyping you by saying just because you self injure you suffer from bpd....please dont think that. and im not a complete intruder because i do self harm. im just really confused and i just had to post and ask? sorry if im wrong doing this....i just need help xx

Re: a question
Posted by erica on Fri May 31 00:27:15 2002 (#3578)

Hi!
My friend suffers from it. She is in a treatment program for it.
Also i still have my abnormal psychology textbook, which speaks of borderline.
if you want to email me, feel free to.

erica

Re: a question
Posted by erica on Fri May 31 01:24:00 2002 (#3580)

I looked up in my abnormal psych book. heres what the symptoms are:
- frantic efforts to avoid being abandoned
-a pattern of intense, yet unstable, interpersonal relationships
-a markedly disturbed, distorted, or unstable sense of self
-self-damaging, impulsive sexual behavior, substance abuse, spending, reckless driving, or binge eating
-recurring suicidal behavior, threats of such, or self mutilating gestures
-chronic feelings of emptiness
-emotional instability that lasts for a few hours to a few days
lack of control over anger
-stress related paranoid thoughts, or severe dissociative symptoms
hope this helps

erica

Re: a question
Posted by Kayleigh on Fri May 31 01:25:06 2002 (#3581)

I used to think I had it because I suffered from ALOT of the symptoms, but my aunt and uncle both work with people with personality diorders and they say people know when you've got it. It's VERY obvious. I don't know how true that is, but I don't think I do anymore. Best thing is to talk to a doctor, because I tried an on-line test and it was bullshit. Said I had every disorder there was...and I think someone would have noticed if I did.

Hope this helps
Kayleigh

Re: a question
Posted by snoopy on Fri May 31 06:44:17 2002 (#3584)

hey there
i have been diagnosed with bpd and if u want to chat e mail me
cheers
sarah
sarahgreig33@hotmail. com

Re: a question
Posted by Vapor on Fri May 31 18:28:24 2002 (#3591)

hey, i live with borderline. if you wanna ask anything feel free.
Later, Vapor

Re: a question
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri May 31 22:05:05 2002 (#3602)

My therapist told me not too long ago that I suffered from borderline personality disorder. From what I understand, it is not curable only the symptoms can be lessoned. There are certain things that are symptoms about it, I just can't remember them right now. Write back later or e-mail me and I'll get the paper out and give you as much info that I can.

dance competition
Posted by wallflower on Fri May 31 04:10:31 2002 (#3582)

Hello. Ummm . . . I guess saying I have a dance competition on Sunday won't mean much to anyone if you don't know about my dancing . . . so . . . I do ballroom dancing. That includes waltz, tango, swing, cha-cha, rumba, mambo, and samba. It's really a lot of fun. I don't really like waltz or tango that much, but the latin dances are sexy! Anyways, I compete with my teacher at local competitions about every 3 months or so and I have on on Sunday. This is going to cause a huge problem for me. I still have lots and lots of pink marks on my legs. I don't think they will be permanent scars, but they're a few weeks old and aren't going to be healed by Sunday. I also have a nice, deep gash in my shoulder. My dance costume shows a lot of skin . . . but I'm supposed to wear fishnet stockings so that might make the legs be not so big a deal. I don't know what to do about my shoulder though. Make up won't really cover it. Does anyone have any suggestions? Do you have any suggestions for what to use as an alternative stress reliever so I won't get any new marks? I'm having a lot of trouble with self-control right now.

Re: dance competition
Posted by KAT on Fri May 31 04:33:24 2002 (#3583)

That sounds like a lot of fun, the dancing. I hope you do well in the competition, but either way Im sure it's for fun anyway.

About the shoulder..ah..Ive been in a situation like this, mmm not sure the way you wanna go with it.
You can be kinda obvious and put a bandaid over it, which won't be terribly noticable or just leave it in the open, put some make up.. If you have long hair, maybe you can wear it down ..not sure if that'll help throughout the dancing though.

Im sure cuts, no cuts, scars whatever you'll look beautiful and Im sure people will agree.

Some stress relievers well..they are different for everyone you know?
for me it was writing, and making vulgar signs and taping them up all around my room. Tearing up papers and things..wear yourself out might work.
Take care
good luck

KAT

Re: dance competition
Posted by She on Fri May 31 16:21:15 2002 (#3588)

You could get one of those bangle things that go high up your arm or something. For your legs if there just scars i find sun helps fade them a bit . Stress realivers
Meditation,Breathing in 10 beats holding 16 breathing out 6 Its herd but when it works its realazing but the best stress realife has got to be weed.
Good luck
She

Re: dance competition
Posted by Eleanor on Fri May 31 21:12:34 2002 (#3594)

I used to dance a lot, was ina lot of shows in big theaters in london. I loved it, wish I could still do it!!!! Good luck, I'm sure it'll be great!
Ummmmm, stress relief...well I puch pillows, trhow soft things at the wall, I also have a punch bag which is the best thing I ever bought.
If make up won't hide the mark then I don't know sorry.
Loadsa love, el x x

Re: dance competition
Posted by wallflower on Sat Jun 1 03:27:09 2002 (#3609)

Thanks you guys. I don't know how it'll go, but I'll try to remember to post afterwards.

oh dammit...
Posted by chelle on Fri May 31 10:20:40 2002 (#3586)

man....today is one of those DEPRESSING MOMENTS or whatever....life sucks the SH$T out of me...
i just hate it. tatooed myself today, dont know if it'll come out good...but its alrite.
well....i guess scars wont go away...
damm....i dunno what the hell im saying.
dont remember how i got here....
haha..tata.