Personal Stories   Poetry   Pictures   Coping   FAQ's   Articles   Book Store

You are here: Home > Archive > Psyke.org Forum > Threads 551 to 575

Threads 551 to 575

i'm kinda back
Posted by .::kim::. on Thu Apr 25 22:35:35 2002 (#2281)

hey...wow there are a lot of new names on this board. i have been gone for awhile. i got into a lot of trouble, and my parents were not sure if they were going to put me in a "place where others can take care of me" as they called it. but i will never be able to get caught up with everything on here. and i probably wont stop by a lot for fear that my parents will find out i have come back to this forum. i dont know who is going to remember me. im going to try to get online more, but i have to sneek on and all. but i hope everyone is doing great!!! i miss being on here

lots of love
kim

Re: i'm kinda back
Posted by She on Thu Apr 25 23:35:38 2002 (#2285)

HIYA!!
I never really know you befor i used to read your posts alot though and i did miss you.Have you been ok ? I hope they dont seand you to " a place where someone else can look after you " my mother threatend to put me in a home for "young people who have been through alot of stress" it funny how they think it will be so much beter to sead us to somewhere with a nice lil name they have made up .
Loads of love n hugs n more hugs
SHE

Re: i'm kinda back
Posted by KAT on Fri Apr 26 00:21:37 2002 (#2298)

Hey Kim, don't know if this is the same 'kim' that I knew a while back on the board, but anyway...take care of yourself, and dont do something thatll get ya into more trouble.
ya know a lot of times when people are depressed and sad and angry all at the same time people mistake it for 'trouble' and really have no idea what to do..
dont hold things inside, it'll just make them worse.
again, Take care
KAT

Re: i'm kinda back
Posted by .::kim::. on Fri Apr 26 02:30:58 2002 (#2305)

yup...still the same kim

Re: i'm kinda back
Posted by kae on Fri Apr 26 03:44:00 2002 (#2307)

hey kim!! its good to see you back...you've been gone a long time. how are you??

keep in touch
kae

Re: i'm kinda back
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 26 17:41:29 2002 (#2315)

I don't think I've ever spoken to you before but its nice to have you back!! take care. x x x

Horrible Day
Posted by liverpoolfc on Thu Apr 25 23:45:24 2002 (#2288)

My best friend told me she never wants to speak to me again and she does not care for me a bit. She knew that what she said would drive me to more cutting and she laughed at the idea or me running out to reach for my razor. It would be fine if I had done something to her, she always gets in these moods. Honestly I haven't done anything. I'm so confused.

Re: Horrible Day
Posted by Erryn on Thu Apr 25 23:51:11 2002 (#2290)

i know this is hard but maybe you dont need friends like that. we will be here for you and about the cutting i really cant tell you not to becuz i did last night but if you do take care of the cuts and know i care about you!!!!! take care xxxErryn

Thanks Erryn
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri Apr 26 00:21:29 2002 (#2297)

You didn't have much to say but you still made me feel so much better. People on this board are so great.

Re: Horrible Day
Posted by KAT on Fri Apr 26 00:24:18 2002 (#2299)

I have been in the same palce you are, but maybe the situation is a little different, My friend has said some of the worst things to me that anyones ever said and hurt me more then any cut Id ever make with a razor, but still..to this day we arent speaking and she has people harass me constantly.
Because we 'cut' people know EXACTLY what buttons to push, and it hurts like hell emotionally, mentally, it just hurts .

just hang in there, and Im sure ya know this, but a freind like that isn't just a mood...it isnt much of a freind.
Maybe she doesnt know how to deal, but you should NOT be subjected to be treated like that..
I know how it hurts.
Watch out for yourself hunny.
*hugs*
KAT

Re: Horrible Day
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri Apr 26 00:32:48 2002 (#2300)

You guys are right she is not a friend at all. When i think about it she would only talk to me when she needed something. I'm through with her and she can kiss my ass.

Re: Horrible Day
Posted by KAT on Fri Apr 26 00:59:31 2002 (#2301)

I know it's hard to put aside a person who seems like a best friend but if you look back you'll see they were never a freind in the first place.
A friend is someone who cares about your feelings,

good choice. :)
Take it easy
KAT

Re: Horrible Day
Posted by Rhonda on Fri Apr 26 04:06:50 2002 (#2308)

Wouldn't it be a much nicer world if people weren't cruel to each other? I know that can't
happen though. Well, I'm always here for you. YOu
can write me anytime you want too. Take care of
yourself.
Love, Rhonda

Re: Horrible Day
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 26 17:39:04 2002 (#2314)

I'm so sorry sweetheart. people can be so cruel, it sux. I care about you honey!!!! look after yourself! love always, el x x x

Thanks Everyone
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sat Apr 27 00:41:49 2002 (#2327)

Thanks to everyone. You guys are great. e-mail me if any of you ever want to talk

holy moly..thought i was gonna have a heart attack
Posted by *me* on Fri Apr 26 01:12:54 2002 (#2302)

So last night my mom is like, OUT OF THE BLUE, "Are you in any way hurting yourself or cutting yourself or something?" I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. I blew it off though. I was like, "Uh, no" in that could-you-be-any-stupider tones. She was like, "You always wear long sleeves." I blamed it on being cold. Shoot. I need these newest scars to fade more before I can wear short sleeves. Ahhhhh. Ok well yeah, that's all from me for now. Just had to share bc it freaked me out.

Re: holy moly..thought i was gonna have a heart at
Posted by KAT on Fri Apr 26 01:23:02 2002 (#2303)

ah so your mother doesnt know??????
wow...I wish my scars would fade, but I know they won't probably EVER, unless I get some kind of surgery which probably doesnt even exist, I wear long sleeves every single day too...but my parents and family know, and its something that I really dont do anymore.

Thats a huge deal though, when your parents dont know and then they ask something like that!!!!!!

I dunno, personally and from experience I think you should tell your mom, but thats alll up to you!
do what makes you feel most comfortable, but dont sacrafice your health and emotional state of mind for something.
take care of yourself.
-KAT :)

Re: holy moly..thought i was gonna have a heart at
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri Apr 26 01:29:22 2002 (#2304)

I heard cocoa butter is really good to make scars go away. But I know what you mean about a heart attack. When it was first said to me I thought my heart stopped.

Re: holy moly..thought i was gonna have a heart at
Posted by Jade on Fri Apr 26 08:39:04 2002 (#2310)

Oh my god, just hearing that brought back the memories of the first time that my mom ever asked me that and sped up my heart for quite a while, actually it's still pounding just at the memory.

My mom had been noticing that I had only been wearing long sleeves, then she found a blade wrapped up in my room, she had me come in and sit down at the kitchen table to 'have a talk' and would tell me nothing about what she wanted to talk about other then that it was serious. When I saw the blade on the table I just about blacked out. I said just about the same thing the you did, plus some quick bullshit explaination for the blade and went on to say how I would never do anything like that and it was a stupid thing to do and I couldn't believe that she would ever think that I would do something so disgusting. I must have been more convincing then I thought because she more then bought it. I spent the rest of the night sick to my stomach with the things that I had to say to make her believe that I would never do that, it went against everything that I believed in, I felt so cheap. But she bought it...for then, of course they know now, that was a good three years ago.
I was terrified, I didn't know what would happen. You really should cool down on the cutting, her suspicions are up. My sympathies go out to you, nothing's scarier than the first time they catch on. Your heart just stops, just for that second, but it's amazing the lies you can come up with and the lengths you will go to, to protect your habits, it's kinda sad too.
Well, if your mom finds out or not I hope it works out. Take care. ~Jade

Re: holy moly..thought i was gonna have a heart at
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 26 17:36:04 2002 (#2313)

god it's so scary when they ask you things like that. my parents found out and mum's cool bout it now, always trying to help me find ways to fade scars etc but dad won't even talk about it. hope you manage to hide your scars, it's a tough job isn't it?? love always, el x x

Re: holy moly..thought i was gonna have a heart at
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 21:38:39 2002 (#2342)

ohh that must have been pritty damned scarey i dunno what i would do probably do the same as you.
Hope things go ok
'Loads of love
She

We Really Aren't Alone
Posted by KAT on Fri Apr 26 03:35:35 2002 (#2306)

Although at times we may feel alone and so different from every body else, but I came across this list of people who were are depressed,have mood disorders, and all that.
Not sure if many of you know but depression is almost always related with self injury.
Kinda like the list of famous people who self injure...well these are the others.
Theres alot, it's kinda interesting to know that these famous people succeded in life, still with this depression shit on their side.http://www.frii.com/~parr ot/living.html

-KAT

Re: We Really Aren't Alone
Posted by Jade on Fri Apr 26 08:50:44 2002 (#2311)

wow, there's A LOT, it's weird how I reconize so many of the ones with depression, but so few with manic depression. I never saw the list of those who SI, where is that? Where do you come across things like these at? take care, Jade

Re: We Really Aren't Alone
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri Apr 26 16:08:24 2002 (#2312)

I found on a website a couple of celebrities who self injured. One was Shirley Manson from the band Garbage and another was Princess Diana.

Re: We Really Aren't Alone
Posted by Jade on Fri Apr 26 20:50:29 2002 (#2322)

yeah, I heard of both of those, the only other one I know of was, suprisingly, whatshername, Rosanne Arnold I think, I read about it in an SI book. She would wake up and find that she had dug her nails like an inch into her thighs and would stab her stomach with kitchen knifes and stuff, and not know that she had done it. Pretty sad stuff. I guess it was all a reaction to being sexually abused as a child. It's strange finding out that people do these things and some of them aren't social outcasts, and some are even popular stars, Rosanne may not be a good example, but she's an extreme one. take care Jade

Re: We Really Aren't Alone
Posted by Dawn on Sat Apr 27 02:41:15 2002 (#2328)

When I was looking for others like me I looked on the internet under self harm there were a lot of pages there. Then I discoverd psyke.com which is now under remodeling....Dawn

Here's Another Link!!
Posted by KAT on Sat Apr 27 07:05:01 2002 (#2330)

some of you might be more familiar with this website, and the people on it who self injure.
:)

http://www .self-injury.net/doyousi/famou s/

KAT

AAAAAAAARRRGH! what's wrong with me?
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 26 18:01:05 2002 (#2320)

I was with my friend stuart yesterday and we were just messing around, teasing each other and stuff. I said something, I can't remember what, and he said "you're crazy, you need counselling". he was just joking around, you know just an offhand comment, but I went all weird. I got a letter yesterday morning saying that I'd missed my last appointment with my shrink and they were "worried what I'd do to myself if I didn't continue with the sessions". so I was kinda touchy about the subject, but I don't know why I reacted like I did. I went all quiet and stu got so worried that he'd really upset me or something. The thing is I love stuart to bits, he's one of the most wonderful people I've ever met, but I couldn't bring myself to talk to him for ages after that. I got all paranoid like what if he really did think I'm a nutcase, what if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. It's so stupid because we've been friends for a long time and i adore him, he'd never do anything like that, but I just got in such a state. What the hell is wrong with me??????

Re: AAAAAAAARRRGH! what's wrong with me?
Posted by Broken Girl on Fri Apr 26 20:16:57 2002 (#2321)

Nothing is wrong with you!!! If you were feeling touchy and then the subject was brought up, of course youre gonna respond!
Ella x

Re: AAAAAAAARRRGH! what's wrong with me?
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sat Apr 27 00:34:43 2002 (#2326)

Nothing is wrong with you eleanor. What he said just put you in an upset mood. When someone says the same thing to me I get the same way. I'm sorry, I don't know how to deal with it though.

Re: AAAAAAAARRRGH! what's wrong with me?
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 21:48:29 2002 (#2343)

Theres nothing with you princces.
Love you allways
She

Denial
Posted by Broken Girl on Fri Apr 26 21:02:44 2002 (#2323)

Hi
I just want to tell all those people who have parents who bring the cutting up in every sentence, force them to see counsellors, confiscate knives and watch over them, that in a way they are lucky. At least your parents recognise that there is a problem. And I envy you all so much. You can cut your arms if you like. I can't. I live my whole life as a lie. I now have such problems trusting people and finding security that I have trouble walking down the street. The panic attacks are back, the cutting is increasing and nothing is being done. No matter how useless my therapist, I had to fight to get her, I had to convince my mum that the problem existed, if only long enough for her to give me the consent for the therapy. So even though she knows the secret, that's what it is, a secret. She doesn't want to see, she doesn't want to hear, and she doesn't want to know. My best friend used to cut, but I can't talk about it with her because she finds it triggering. There is no support and wherever I turn it is the same story. The pains too obvious, too real. At least they can walk away; this is my life. So I'm sorry I can't relate to the over-protective parents talks, I'm Ella, I'm fourteen, I cut, I want to die and nobody gives a shit.
Sorry. But this anger flowing through my veins is the only thing that seems to drive me on. But I have no right to take it out on you, so I'm sorry, but I am posting this because that will release this tension for a while. I'm going to cut tonight for the first time all week; I can feel it in every bone, limb and thought. I'm just waiting to bleed.
Ella x

Re: Denial
Posted by KAT on Fri Apr 26 21:50:31 2002 (#2324)

you know my parents were those protective sending me to counselors, hospitals, and all that..but they really didnt seem to 'care' they were just 'doing their job'.
so..Im sorry you dont have any support, you know sometime when we get depressed and sad and cut and things like that people who care for us most cant bare to see us like that and just ignore it or put it away, its their way of dealing just like ours is cutting.
My parents didnt really start caring until I almost died and had to be sent away for a long time to get better.
Which Im still working on, but for the most depressive period of time in my life, I felt so completely alone, and I think I was.Ilook back on that and that made me strong as hell..
just keep in mind you need to matter to you first.
take care
be careful
-KAT

Re: Denial
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sat Apr 27 00:31:59 2002 (#2325)

Don't feel like you are letting your anger out on anyone here in the board. This is why we are all here, because we can understand. This is where we all go to let our anger out. Keeping it inside is what is hurting us.

Re: Denial
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 21:27:11 2002 (#2338)

baba, I'm so sorry. why didn't you tell me this when you mailed me? i want to know how you feel so I can try and help you as much as I can. I love you girl, you know that yeah?? keep posting and letting it all out and look after yourself sweetheart. Love ya. x x x

Re: Denial
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 21:57:30 2002 (#2345)

hiya sweetie

I know what you mean my mother thourght it was funny when she found i was using drugz and took no notice of me at all god she came home with lsd for me once .I dont think she wound realise a problem if i came home with cuts on my face .I think she only sees what she wishes .
Loads a love
SHe

To my Alaskan Princess
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 22:42:57 2002 (#2353)

She baba!!!! Parents suck sometimes. You know I love you sweetheart, and the same goes for you as always, just call if you need me and I'd travel the world twice over to be there for you. Love you honey!!!! x x x x x x

Re: To my Alaskan Princess
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 22:54:58 2002 (#2361)

I love you to princess.I always will love you whatever happens yeah.
(((hug)))
She

Done it again
Posted by Phil on Sat Apr 27 04:35:24 2002 (#2329)

My perants have seen the cuts on my arm, they havent even asked way. My mum has done her best to ignore and avoid me for today but apart from the argument in the car with my dad he has avoided the subject. I dont want them to ask, I dont think I would tell them if they did. Jo is asleep on the sofa, I dont mind it when she sleeps because she looks so at peace. I really dont deserve her but I wouldnt give her up for the world. I dont really have anyone I can talk to. I cant talk to my friends as they simply wouldnt understand and I dont think most of them would know what to say anyway. I can always tell Jo but she doesnt need my issuse on top of everything and I dont expect her to. She is with me and thats enough to ask. As for talking to my perants I think they have made thier views quite clear. I dont really have meny problems as such but I always though I would have people to talk to. I dont want to talk about why I just want to know if anyone understands.
Thank you all for listening and I hope you all find what you need.
take care, Phil x

Re: Done it again
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 21:29:10 2002 (#2339)

I understand if that helps. I hope things get better for you. I'm always here if you need to talk or whatever. take care. love elle x x

Re: Done it again
Posted by Millie on Sat Apr 27 22:37:37 2002 (#2350)

hi, im new to this site and i just read your post thing. I feel like you do but I'm never able to explani it. I self harm aswell, i want someone to listen but i don't want them to have me to worry about. sorry for any inconvenience.
Millie

To Millie
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 22:40:13 2002 (#2351)

Hey sweetie. The same goes for you as I said to Phil. I'm always here if you wanna talk and you can mail me as well, I don't care what you talk about. Sometimes it just helps to get things off your chest. I'm glad you're here anyway. Speak to you soon honey. Love elle x x x

Re: To Millie
Posted by Millie on Sat Apr 27 22:42:28 2002 (#2352)

Thanx for being so nice. Is it wrong to have a suicidal thought in the back of you head every day night and week? I took my parents aspirin bottle out of the cupboard today and i lay on my bed hugging it and crying, is that wrong or crazy?
Millie x

Re: To Millie
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 22:46:30 2002 (#2354)

It's not wrong, it's just the way you feel at the moment. I've been in that position so many times before, so I know some of how you feel. You aren't alone, sometimes it helps to remember that. A lot of the people on here are going through exactly the same thing. I've been cutting for around 2 years now, but you probably didn't need to know that!! :-) It's not wrong and you're not crazy, you're just having a bad time.

Thanx
Posted by Millie on Sat Apr 27 22:48:05 2002 (#2355)

Thanx again. Its nice to no someone knows what im going through. Do you have hotmail?
Millie

Re: Thanx
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 22:50:39 2002 (#2357)

you're very welcome sweetie! I have a hotmail address but my msn messenger thingy isn't working at the moment (damn computers, I'll never understand them!! lol!) You can email me if you want though. love always, elle x x x x

Re: Thanx
Posted by Phil on Sun Apr 28 04:23:09 2002 (#2370)

Thank you both, If either of you would like to talk Im on IM and you are quite welcome to e-mail me. Jo has been here for me all the way. I know it was stupid but I had hoped she wouldnt read it, although to be honest I suppsoe I thought in the back of my mind that she would understand. but I would love to talk to either of you. Please feel free to keep in touch. Phil x

Re: Thanx
Posted by Star (amz ) on Tue Apr 30 15:51:45 2002 (#2529)

Hi phil, look babe i might b completly useless i dont know and i sure as hell feel it today but if you EVER need to talk to someone and jo or someone else who ur closer too isnt there im always here for you, take care babe,
Amz xx

Re: Thanx
Posted by Millie on Sun Apr 28 12:27:28 2002 (#2388)

ok well you can email me to at my hotmail addy. Today has been really bad and i don't want to go on any more :(

Millie x

I just had to
Posted by KAT on Sat Apr 27 07:10:18 2002 (#2331)

I just had to post this site because I think it's really good and a lot of you might have a nice time lookin through it.

www.self-injury.net

I also posted in my thread called "We really aren't alone" a reply saying another link, that link is of famous self injurers of OUR day.
The present, and it's a good site.

Visit it if you like...here's a quote I got from the site I like it

"Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful...
You might as well live."

-Dorothy Parker

-:) KAT

Re: I just had to
Posted by Maggie on Sat Apr 27 12:16:07 2002 (#2332)

Hey that's a really good site, thanks for sharing it with us.

Re: I just had to
Posted by Erin on Sat Apr 27 21:48:50 2002 (#2344)

I remember that quote from 'Girl, Interupted'

Re: I just had to
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 22:01:11 2002 (#2346)

i like that quote thanx 4 shaering it .
xx she

Ouch?
Posted by Maggie on Sat Apr 27 12:37:01 2002 (#2333)

Why does SI hurt me now? I used to cut reguarly for over a year, but now following a break of several months, it really hurts.
I used to make much deeper and longer cuts, and not feel anything at all...now it stings so much that I can't ever tolerate it sometimes.
My chest is aching so badly tonight after hitting it with a vase yesterday. Usually any pain was appreciated, now it's just uncomfortable.
I know this sounds weird, but it feels like SI is betraying me. I was addicted to it because it was the only consistent thing in my life... when I couldn't get supportive hugs from friends and family, I always had my blades for comfort. When everything changed beyond my control, my blood would always flow. When I was hurting inside, I could express this hurt physically without feeling the pain. The scars and cuts told a story to remind me of how courageous I was.
Now it hurts, now I fear the scars, now I don't have the courage to make enough blood flow for my satisfaction. SI is no longer reliable for me as a coping mechanism, it has let me down because I have been unfaithful to it. I consider SI as a friend that I'm trying to renew contact with.
It doesn't want to know me, and is punishing me for stopping for so long.
But I have nothing else to turn to sometimes. What's the next step in self-destruction to escape reality?

Re: Ouch?
Posted by Phil on Sat Apr 27 17:01:22 2002 (#2335)

Hi Maggie,

I know I really shouldnt be trying to help people self injure but I think I may be able to stop it hurting so much. You say you havent cut for a month or so, cut skin is much like a broken bone, it will heal stronger thicker and more sensative and if left long enough your entire nevous system will become more responsive to taht type of damage as you have to understand that you body does not know that it is you thats doing it and will do its best to make you aware of damage being done. Try running Ice cubes over the area your going to cut for a few miniutes to reduse the blood supply to the area and weaken the nerves. You should only have to do this the fisrt few times and then your body will return to its usual response.
Let me know if this has been any use to you and I hope your feeling better soon.
Phil x
"Remeber the compliments people give you, forget the insults. If you succseed in doing this tell me how" Baz Lurman

Re: Ouch?
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 21:33:54 2002 (#2340)

That's the only advice I would have been able to give to you. It happened to me for a while. Phil by the way, is that line from a song. Kinda like a guy talking only put to music? I used to love that but I've not heard it for ages. take care maggie. love always, elle x x x

Re: Ouch?
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 22:05:22 2002 (#2347)

It dose hurt more often for me sometimes .My blades have gone pritty blunt and you really have to push deeo then that kinda hurts.
Hope things get better soon
Love you
She

SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by STRANGER IN THE NIGHT on Sat Apr 27 16:39:08 2002 (#2334)

i miss you with all my heart// i dont want to let go, i fear we are falling apart// please dont forget about me now that you are gone//how i will miss our talent, our music our song// it used to be we and us// now its just i and me// just how cruel can this life be// i feel so alone, theres nobody left but me// you were the last, you set yourself free// i wish i had the strength to free myself//

I HATE YOU IWTH ALL MY HEART YOU EVIL BASTARD. YOU TOOK HER AWAY. YOU TOOK ME AWAY. YOUVE RUINED BOTH OF OUR LIFES. SHE DIED BOTH ON THE INSIDE AND OUT. IVE DIED ON THE INSIDE NOW ALLS LEFT IS THE OUT. YOU PIG, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CONSCIENCE? DO YOU EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT? DO YOU EVEN CARE THAT I STILL EXIST? I COULD RUIN YOU BUT I HAVENT. I COULD KILL YOU BUT OBVIOUSLY I HAVENT. YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH ITMAKES ME SICK AND WHATS EVEN WORSE IS THAT I HATE MYSELF MORE. YOU HAVE ACHIEVED WHAT YOU WANTED TO ACHIEVE YOU NASTY EVIL PIECE OF WORK. HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF???? AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH HHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AS SOON AS I CLOSE MY EYES I SEE HIS HORRID FACE//AS SOON AS I OPEN MY EYES I VOW TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT PLACE//SOMETIMES THINGS THAT APPEAR OBVIOUS ARE NOT ALWAYS S THEY SEEM//SOMETIMES I HIDE AWAY DEEP INSIDE I ONLY COME OUT IN MY DREAMS.

all of these thoughts and feelings rushing around in my head//all of these thouhgts and feelings how i wish i was DEAD// all of these thouhgts and feelnigs, why is it always me?//all of these thoughts and feelings that i NO LONGER WANT TO BE!!!!!!!!!

wash away my blood for me please wash away my blood// how i wish my prayers would be answered, how i wish you could//how i long for my life to be taken no longer trapped but free//wishing this everyday to see how happy i can be//youve walked away and left me now i dont no how to feel//how do you expect my wounds to heal?

argh as you can probably tell i have lost the plot completely......im not going crazy i have gone crazy. I CANNOT COPE. i cannot deal with the everyday problems that i had aswell as grieving for a dear friend. i cannot feel all of those things at the same time. i am not superwoman for fucks sake. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO???????????????????????????? ??????????? i am hitting down so hard on the keys of the computer her coz i am so angry and i have lost the will to live. this is fucknig ridiculoius. what the fuck am i doing?? this feels really good actually i am banging down nearly breaknig the keyboard but i dont give aFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive lost the plot and i dont care! i apologise for this xxx

Re: SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 27 17:09:06 2002 (#2336)

ok so all that achieved os for me to go straight to my rom and slash my legs......yep yep yep that post achieved soooo much. bloody hell.

Re: SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by Rhonda on Sat Apr 27 20:31:36 2002 (#2337)

Honey, you know I'm here if you want to talk. I'm sorry it's so bad right now. Here's a big
((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))) ))))))))))))))))))))
just for you. Take care of yourself.
Love, RHonda

Re: SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 21:36:51 2002 (#2341)

sweetheart I'm so sorry. I know some of what you're going through and it hurts like your heart's been ripped out. It will get better only it won't happen quickly. I love you girl. Just look after yourself ok? Write to me if you need to talk. x x x x

Re: SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 22:08:40 2002 (#2348)

I really care about you sweetie ill allways b here for you let me know if you want to talk yeah.
She

Re: SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sat Apr 27 22:30:18 2002 (#2349)

Hey, I barely know you but we are all in this together and it hurts me to see you like this. I hope it gets a little better. Love Lauren

Re: SHIT THIS IS SHIT!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!
Posted by Jade on Sun Apr 28 07:08:20 2002 (#2377)

sweet heart I'm sorry that you're hurting so bad, I know that this is one of the hardest things that anyone can go through. If you need to talk you can always email me if you want to. I hope that you know how much we all love you. Please please please please take care of yourself. ~ Jade

oh please help
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 27 22:48:57 2002 (#2356)

please some one be there? please dear god. im really scared im going to do omething stupid or something? the least i will do is cut. oh shit i dont want to do this. please some one talk to me? is anyone there?

Re: oh please help
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 22:51:41 2002 (#2358)

I'm here sweetheart, you ok????? x x x

Re: oh please help
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 27 22:54:05 2002 (#2360)

no i aint..im scared. thank god someones here. no im really weak at the moment...really weak. weaker than before. i have my knife out. i have parecetamols out. i have loadsa shit out. ive just had a smoke which i dont even do? strange. oh im just feeling so bad at the moment so weak.

Re: oh please help
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 27 22:55:11 2002 (#2362)

and im gunna get caught out..........im not even at my friends house? have you ever dun summet so risky?? aaarrrggghh!

Re: oh please help
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 27 22:56:41 2002 (#2364)

I know that feeling so well. Oh honey, don't do anything stupid will you? I'm here to talk for as long as you need ok? I smoke all the time btw, I'll probably die of lung cancer by the time I'm 18!!

Re: oh please help
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 22:52:25 2002 (#2359)

Hiya sweetie
Im sorry girl i love you loads dont forget that yeah .Im sorry.
#She

Re: oh please help
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 27 22:56:08 2002 (#2363)

oh hia she....sorry bout before...dont no if you got the im or not?? soz xx

Re: oh please help
Posted by She on Sat Apr 27 23:00:31 2002 (#2365)

HIya
Yep i got the i m thanx im sorry its not working very well or my brain isnt i dunno sorry i had th away message doo dah thing on caus some wierd person is following me he he he .HUrm oh well im here if you want to talk .
Loave you forever
Really tierd
She

Help!!!
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 01:11:43 2002 (#2366)

Hey guys a horrible thing has happened. I wrote a letter to my line leader at work and she read it and called this crisis hotline. well i was driving with my kids and got pulled over and questioned in front of my kids i was crying they were crying. then the police called my parents and told them that i cut and now they are not talking to me. So i went to work fri and talked to her (my line lead) and told her that she made it worse and everything she made me so sad and now i dont know what to do. I dont know if i should be mad or glad she cared, but i may loose my kids over this i am freaking out help!!!!

Re: Help!!!
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sun Apr 28 01:45:00 2002 (#2367)

I think you should be happy that she cared but upset that she didn't talk to you first about it. You should have a chat with her and maybe you two could work things out to get help and she could support you.

Re: Help!!!
Posted by Jade on Sun Apr 28 07:13:02 2002 (#2378)

Just try to expain things the best that you can to her and maybe the two of you can work togother to make everyone see the you cutting doesn't hurt your kids and that you're a good mom. I hope that things work out, Jade

Re: Help!!!
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 11:28:26 2002 (#2382)

HIYA

((((((((((hug))))))))
I dunno i guess its nice to know that she really dose care about you thats always good but to involve you kids and parents was unfair and wrong without onsulting you first but in was brobably because she cared.
I hope things get better soon.
LOve you always
SHE

Re: Help!!!
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:12:37 2002 (#2415)

oh sweetie that's awful!! It is nice to know she cares, but she should have talked to you about it first. Try and talk to her about it and try not to worry too much. You're a brilliant mother and no decent person would ever take your kids away from you. Love always, elle x x x

stupid writing
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sun Apr 28 01:54:07 2002 (#2368)

We all have one/ that one very special person/ the one that makes our heart content/ but nothings ever certain.

We make mistakes/ we get put down/ but then that special person always comes around

She understands me very well/ she even tries to care/ but one day I made an extra mistake/ and for once she was not there

They can never care for me/ not like I need them to/ for my problems are way to deep/ who do i turn to...who?

Re: stupid writing
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 04:57:45 2002 (#2372)

thats good keep writing xxxErryn

Re: stupid writing
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 11:31:26 2002 (#2383)

THats really good.
thanx
She

Re: stupid writing
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:13:52 2002 (#2416)

it's not stupid at all! love always x x x

pal
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sun Apr 28 01:56:12 2002 (#2369)

I've always thought of my razor blades as my friends. Sad I know. But it was so weird today when I bought some more that the name on the package was "Pal." So now when people ask where i'm going I can tell them I'm going to see my pals.

Re: pal
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 04:56:39 2002 (#2371)

thats pretty funny, hey at least these friends cant tell on you or hurt your feelings take care xxxErryn

Re: pal
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 06:54:47 2002 (#2376)

ha.....I dont remember what my pack of blades said, its been a while since Ive seen any razor blades, yah I have an electric shaver, still got a blade....but anyway heh...

I truly believed cutting was my ONLY!!! friend, lover in a sence, companion, thing to fall back on..but you know I realized it was just a stupid thing that was hurting me in every way possible..

ironic though about the "pal" heh

-KAT

Re: pal
Posted by Keck on Sun Apr 28 05:18:23 2002 (#2373)

You know the odd thing? My blades have the exact same name on the package. I nearly fell over laughing when I realized I did have "pals" that helped me deal with life's problems.

Re: pal
Posted by Jade on Sun Apr 28 07:16:07 2002 (#2379)

That's actually real cute, thanks for sharing. Mine all say 'utility' and 'standard' and other generic things like that. I need to find adorable blades like yours, although I must admit I do love mine. take care, Jade

Re: pal
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 11:43:35 2002 (#2384)

lol mine says "5 blades"exiting huh ? i know what you mean there like friends to me .
Loads a love
SHE

Re: pal
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:15:30 2002 (#2417)

my blades are my friends. that;s pretty funny!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by ¸.·*¨°·.¸ CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs ¸¸.·*¨°·.¸ on Sun Apr 28 05:54:37 2002 (#2374)

Hi there, people may remember my name from when I was at a low point in my life, i'm glad to say that I am far better now and life is GOOOD.
I still look upon this forum however, in the attempt to help other that I can relate to, however, I am confronted with rather silly posts.
The last one I read was about how someone brought a new set of razor blades (some what of a traditionalist) called "pals", so its a great little joke "Im going to see my pals" - Do people really need to know this???- I think not.
Then we have the people who "are at their lowest point" (apparently), who feel the need to pretty much threaten that cuts may appear, odd how all it takes is "dont worry hun, we are here from you" from a complete stranger - to shut them up
Then we have the best... someone who wanted the "guts" to cut in places that would be seen more often, I was always under the impression that SI was for the victims own self, not for others to appreaciate - I for one, regret my action and (as posted before), embaressed of them.

This forum was good for me and I do hope that it helps others, but I cant help feeling that many people who post are talking shit and only adding to the rising amount of stereotypical attention seeking fuckwits that we are somehow all classed as being... why do you think that is? because people like you lot talk crap, and long for others to sympathise your "SI" SHUT UP

The following section is written by my Matt -

"Good morning all, I know all about Crimson's past "SI" issues, I have to admit to not understanding the reasons why, but then again, i've never been as low as her, or as low as the other people who's posts I have seen on here (thats not a dig I assure you). However, I see this forum going downhill as I see many forum's going. All of a sudden, every Tom, Dick and Harry now has access to the Internet, which gives them their freedom of speach - I see this being a bad thing, it seems to me that, people who have problems with "SI" dont want their fellow "SI" sufferes to get better, would rather keep them as an answer to all questions. I do appologise if I seem to have lost the plot, I like to look upon myself as a well rounded human being. I'm not totally ignorant to the issues of "SI", after all, i do feel that I was a contributed in weening Crimson from this, so I know all about her past issues and problems.
Thats pretty much all for us both now, it just upsets me to see Crimson logging back into this forum to try and give some advice (as an inflictor and former inflictor) to any one she can relate too, just to find people banging on about (agreed this is a piss take) "ohhhh, I just broke a nail, I want to cut myself, let me tell people about it first, blah blah blah....".
Please lets keep this forum alive...!!!...!!!

All the best....be you genuine sufferers or fuckers!!!!!

Love Roses and Empathy
CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs and Matt

Hey now wait a second!
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 06:51:39 2002 (#2375)

I understand where you are coming from Crimson, and I do remember how you were suffering , like we all have, or are at the moment.
You need to understand that everyone is in a different point in their recovery or down fall as it may be.

I was too dissapointed with some posts, because I am alot better then I used to be.
But when I think back before i knew so much about myself and this addiction, I was completely sad and just out of it for the most part.
Not everyones in the same point is what Im trying to say, and before we start criticizing each other we need to try and help each other!!

we are the only ones who understand each other, and thats pretty much the honest truth.
Others can sympathize but they DO NOT know what we have gone through.
We need to help, not point fingers.

Now about you...Im soooooo glad your life is better now..I was worried quite a bit for you at one point there, Then I left for a long time, and now Im a shit load better and it seems you are too..
Congradulations hun!
EVERYONE...take care

love KAT

Re: Hey now wait a second!
Posted by Alana on Sun Apr 28 17:56:07 2002 (#2398)

I agree with Kat. Although we have come a very long way with self injury, and have learnt so much in our experiences we must remember what it's like to be lost and misunderstood with it all. Some of the posts I can't relate to anymore, but you have to think back hard and imagine yourself say a year ago...you, she, he, and I were not much different.

Just pray that they all eventually find their way as we have...I'm getting there - walking through hell to stop the cutting because I'm dealing with all the hidden issues...but it's alot better than not knowing why you're like this and where it started.

Good Luck to everyone. Post whatever you need, whenever you need to.

You have support.

Love, Alana Banana

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by Jade on Sun Apr 28 08:39:15 2002 (#2380)

I'm not really sure how to respond to that... I suppose that I think that no matter what stage someone is in SI, it should be equally respected. Just because someone hasn't really figured themselves out yet, or are easily triggered doesn't mean that they should be taken any less seriously. No one has any right to tell anyone else that their emotions aren't real, or that they are to quick to apply their 'coping skills' The truth of the matter is that everyone has issues and everyone has the right to have support when things get rough, unfortunately just because everyone should have support, doesn't mean that everyone does, and I'm hoping that's what this board will be for them. However if people are constantly being chastised for speaking their minds then they may not feel comfortable sharing what is going on in their life and may not be open to except people reassurance when it is offered. When people post things that may seem trivial to you (ie, pals brand) it's not always just bullshit, I'm not saying it's a deep philosophical insight into their lives or anything, I'm just saying that people have different comfort levels, and maybe they wanted to post something that wasn't quite so personal for starters or maybe they wanted to share something other than a post that said that their world was ending to lighten things up a bit, or maybe, *gasp* they just felt like posting it with no definite purpose in mind. At any rate, it didn't hurt anybody, however, bringing up a specific post, and deeming it expendable is very harmful, it can easily alienate someone and possibly keep them from posting freely or even from coming back. Also, yes, we all know that there are people who SI for attention, for the first three or so years that I was a cutter, I was very upset by the fact that there were, because I absolutely couldn't stand being stereotyped into that, while it still bothers me, I am now mature enough to realize that if someone has enough issues to severe their own flesh, then they are probably doing it because they NEED the support, and how dare any of us declare who does and does not need help. If someone posts and says something that someone does not agree with or not not think 'deserves' to be on the board, then by all means, they have every right to ignore it and more on to the next post, but unless it's directed at you, you don't have much of a right to complain unless it's your message board. I don't post any new post, (partly because of responses like this) and I've only been reading posts for a few months, and only replying for under two, but I would still do anything that I could for anyone one on the board, and to be honest, it shouldn't matter what put them in the state of mind that they are in, just that they are in it. I'm not sure if what I'm saying makes any sense to any of you, I'm extremely sleep-deprived and nutritionally-deprived, so if not, hopefully you'll get the point. People respond differently to different things and no one's opinion or emotion should ever be disregarded. Also, just because someone isn't bareing their soul in a post doesn't mean that the post is just takeing up space, every post helps us get to know each other better which brings up closer and helps us to understand one another. That makes sense, right?
Crimson- none of this is necessarally directed towards you, it's just the initial reaction that your post got out of me, I don't know, we'll see what I think about it tomorrow. I've talked to you a bit before and you seemed really sweet, and I wanted to say that I'm glad that you're doing better. However, I really think that while I'm glad that you'r real enough to say what you're thinking I don't think that you are being very open-minded and closed-mindedness and ignorance is exactly why we have to come here rather then just talk to those around us. ( Not that you're ignorant) I understand that you're frustrated with some of the posts, but different people work in different ways, and you're not going to be able to relate to all of them, so rather then judging them it might be best to except that there is now diversity on the board and that sometimes you're going to disagree or not see the relavence. I hope that you work out your issues with the board, I hate to think that it would be a stress for you and I like reading your posts. I'm sorry if I am not making sense or am being a bitch, I am trying to work out my opinion on this but it's really hard to even stay awake, well, I hope that you can deal with the 'changes' on the board. Jade

Shit this is long.........sorry

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by Maggie on Sun Apr 28 10:37:43 2002 (#2381)

Although your life may now be GOOOD,and you no longer need to use this board for comfort and support, others are different levels of stability right now... and experiencing a wide range of thoughts and opinions. Anything that is important enough to somebody for them to write it down, is a valid post on this board.
You have no right to label somebody's thoughts as a 'silly post' or 'crap'. Part of the reason SIers turn to this forum rather than to real people, is because we don't judge one another, well most of us anyway.
For people who don't have anybody else to confide in, the words "dont worry hun, we are here from you" can mean loads more than you insensitively assume.
When you were going through your low-time, you also turned to 'complete strangers' to offer you the same words of encouragement, and you appreciated them.
As for your third complaint, that was directed at a post that I wrote a while back. I don't appreciate your sarcasm, critisism or devaluation of my thoughts.

It's nice that this board helped you out, but now that you obviously no longer relate to us, it shouldn't matter to you what "stereotypical attention-seeking fuckwit classification" we receive. Thanks for further putting us in our place.

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 12:17:48 2002 (#2386)

HIYA
I think everyone is intitlled to post what every they want ,or at least oi thourght they did.
I try to appreaciate everyones posts but i really didnt agree with yours crimson .I know the people on here are not "real " or in my "real" life however i love everyone one here and they are one hell of alot more real then my "friends" who seam to be constantly tripping and a compleate different realm to everyone else and i really dont thing i could talk to them about myself like i can to people who i have meet on here who i would call my real friends I havent got to know everyone but som people on here i feel really close to Eleanor is like ...she IS best friend i could tell her nearly n e thing about myself i would definatly call her a real friend and i feel the same about jade we havent know each other for long but your mails are v special to me thanx and donna I LOVE YOU.
I kinda know what you mean about some posts but i think its nice to have a rest from things sometimes and n e one should be able to post
any thing people may dissagree but we shouldnt critasize what the hell would b the point of a message bord when everyone is to afraid to post from fear of critasizums that woujld be silly .
Love n hugz to you all .
SHE
PS im glad things are going well in your life keep smiling everyone else:o).
Sorry if my post didnt make much sceance they dont allways.

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 12:32:10 2002 (#2389)

Hi
I agree that everyone has a right to post what they like, and I dont think its fair to critisize anyone, especially the way you pointed out particular posts (eg. Pals) We are all here for the same reason, I'm bullied at school, home and pretty much everwhere but here. The last thing I want to log on to see is it going on here too. I dont agree with some things that are said, but I do respect peoples opinions and rights to freedom of speech.
Sorry, I think this post is a bit aggressive. But I do feel quite strongly.
Ella x

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by ¸.·*¨°·.¸ CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs ¸¸.·*¨°·.¸ on Sun Apr 28 13:07:07 2002 (#2390)

No one seems to understand the point of our post in the first place, most of you guys have only been coming to this board for a few months, maybe even weeks, with the exception of Rhonda, Erryn, and a few others...
You dont know how this board WAS, this board was a place where people could come to for comfort and support and also information to help with their SI, NOT to come and moan and whine about how bad their lives are, and seek for sympathy, which is what I see going on here.
Sorry if that has offended some of you, but its true, when I come here I see people moaning and saying how they are going to cut.. yeh your going to cut why else would you be here?!??!!!!!!
then as said before, someone comes along, "aww its ok hun"...wow, suddenly they feel so much better, its all shite, this board is now full of pathetic prunes.

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 14:29:57 2002 (#2391)

Thanks

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 16:58:30 2002 (#2394)

????

Please think before you Post
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 18:36:20 2002 (#2399)

Crimson...I don't know why this has all hit you so hard!!

The things you are saying are hurtful, I mean seriously think before you type them, you know.

I know I know you have a voice too, everyone does...But this is kind of silly over something so minor, well to me at least..

I have been on this board and the other board for a long LONG time, and I have seen every kind of post.
Not every single post is about someone cutting, actually a lot are about so many other things, and some are good..believe it or not.

This board is for people who "cut" and for people who need help with family members or friends who cut, but its not a board where you HAVE TO BE CUTTING ,or ARE GOING TO CUT to post!

anything is appreciated..
Please...
-KAT

Also
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 18:37:50 2002 (#2400)

sorry...I didnt mean to say that this board is ONLY for people who cut, it's for everyone who injures themself in one way or another, or is going to, or HAS!

-KAT

Re: Also
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 20:11:32 2002 (#2413)

Hi
I hope you didnt take it too badly crimson, Im sorry my post was so agressive. I took it too personally I think.
Ella x

Re: Also
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 21:28:01 2002 (#2414)

I think i sould say sorry to i have no right to be like that sorry sorry sorry.
Loads a love
SHE~BERRY

Re: Also
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:26:12 2002 (#2418)

hmmmmmmm, ok I'm not gonna say anything contraversial because if I do I'll probably upset somebody. what I am going to say is that I don't mind reading any kind of post as they all have a reason at the time they are written. I also respect your right to your own opinion and I'm glad your life is going so well. ( I was on your website before and you seem pretty happy.) Love to all of you, elle x x

I'm not apologising
Posted by Maggie on Mon Apr 29 13:38:53 2002 (#2465)

Ok, I'm not going to apologise for being harsh because I think labelling us as 'pathetic prunes' is asking for angry retaliation.

Please don't play the "I've been here longer than you" card, like you have authority on defining the genre of this board. For the record I started coming here close to 2 years ago...when there were just a handful of posts. I've seen this board evolve in many different directions, but the consistent thread was an a high level of tolerance for other people who post here. You are correct that this board should be where people can come for comfort and support, but moaning and whining are natural methods by which people ask for these things in times of crisis.

I'm happy that you are feeling confident enough about your mental stability, but don't assume that you can dictate what consitutes valid problems for other people. The fact that you don't visit this board as frequently since you've felt better, is your own testimony that this board is primarily a place to complain about our own misfortunes and seek sympathy.
You claim to be returning here to offer advice and support for us who have not quite found the middle-way, yet instead you judge and devalue our emotions.
Though it's a cliche, I ask you to think about treating others the way you'd like to be treated.

Re: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS FORUM????
Posted by SIer of many years on Sun Apr 28 22:40:12 2002 (#2426)

GRRRR

Posted By: ¸.·*¨°·.¸ CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs ¸¸.·*¨°·.¸
Date: Sunday, 21 April 2002, at 4:39 a.m.

I REALLY WISH EVERYONE HERE WOULD SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TALKING SHIT TO EVERYONE ELSE, YEH OK WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS.. BUT EVERYONE HERE IS ARGUING ABOUT POINTLESS BULLSHIT AND FORCING OTHERS TO LEAVE, ITS FUCKING PATHETIC, ISNT IT ABOUT TIME SOME OF YOU GREW UP????? FUCK.. SOME PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS TO OTHERS, GET OVER IT FOR CHRISTS SAKE
love roses and empathy
CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs

Yeah, Crimson, you posted that. Take your own advice. Some people have their own opinions about their scars, about how they view SI, and about what's important to them, including yourself. So, how about practicing what you're preaching, ok?

This may be coming a bit late, but I just saw it now.

Sorry
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 12:04:23 2002 (#2385)

Hi
I'm sorry about my last post, I was just feeling so angry, and I hate it when I feel like that, sometimes it gets so bad that afterwards I feel weak. Like I do after a big cutting session. But I've calmed down now, I'm just feeling lonely. I've just come back from my friend's house and there wasn't any room in her bedroom for me so I had to sleep in her brother's room. So instead of crying myself to sleep in my room I did it round hers… so much for cheering myself up. I no I have to get myself out of this mind set I'm in, I can't go on feeling like this anymore, it's either sink or swim. As for attempting suicide, been there, done that… I don't need the guilt of looking into my mother's eyes and lying anymore. So I've got to do something. Yesterday I stuck my fingers down my throat and made myself sick, I don't know why but I got it into my head that somehow I could throw up this hopelessness which contaminates my every move. My therapist says I should learn to trust people, that I don't have to do it by myself. But I do, I've got no support from my family or my friends so I guess I'll have to learn the only way to get through life is to do it by yourself. Easier said then done when loneliness is eating away at my soul.
I sometimes think there's too much blood in my body. Strange or what?!
Ella x

Re: Sorry
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 17:37:00 2002 (#2396)

(((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))) ))))))))))

Re: Sorry
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 18:41:31 2002 (#2401)

I know people have heard me talk about this about a billion times before, but (hehe) At the most difficult time in my life, so far, I was really compltely alone.

I look back and have no fucking clue how I made it, suicide attempts, cutting like hell...ya know..Not getting up for days, it would Physically hurt me to move and eat and normal shit.

Everyone really does need love and support, but when you don't have it don't think it's the end, because you'll always have yourself.
It's going to be rough, but just hang on.

take care
love KAT

Re: Sorry
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 19:48:54 2002 (#2409)

hey we all have bad time and days i know i cant live without this board so im pretty forgiving okay whatever i just said take care xxxErryn

Re: Sorry
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:29:03 2002 (#2419)

you just need to keep going. so many people have come through really bad times in their life and are doing good. reading Kats posts gives me some hope that maybe someday I might be able to do the same. I love you sweetie. take care x x x

Re: Sorry
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 08:16:30 2002 (#2454)

hey sweetie, I still say post whatever you like, I don't even know what my last reply says, it's so long that I didn't bother reading over it again. take care sweet heart, Jade

nothing ever changes
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 12:26:56 2002 (#2387)

Hi, I don't want you all to think I'm swamping the board as I posted last two minutes ago, but I want to post this poem about my dad (Yes, again…). I don't see him still, but I bumped into him in the street yesterday and all he could offer me was money. I haven't seen him for a year and I guess he's still the same as he always was… well at least he's not in my life coming home drunk or messing mum about with other women anymore. All I need is to let go of the past instead of carrying it round with me. My life is just a treadmill of pain and I'm scared to get off in case what is beyond this is worse.
Love ella x

Location's been arranged/ Time has now been set/ Ask me how I'm feeling/ As if you don't know yet/ Don't tell me that you love me/ You promised no more lies/ I can always tell you know/ I can see it in your eyes/ Now you offer some money/ You know what I need/ To let it all just go/ To at last be freed/ The pain is still fresh/ Though the years have come and gone/ Tiring and ageing me/ I am no longer strong/I'm feeling so confused/ A hug long overdue/ My mind gathers its principles/ Remembers what you put us through/ Time has passed unnoticed/ Now I say goodbye/ Lock my door behind me/ Sit down at last to cry.

Re: nothing ever changes
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sun Apr 28 15:51:09 2002 (#2392)

That was a great poem.

Re: nothing ever changes
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 16:59:34 2002 (#2395)

I really like that you are a great writter sweetie.
Love n hugz n more hugz
She~berry

Re: nothing ever changes
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 19:46:46 2002 (#2408)

your so talented keep writing xxxErryn

Re: nothing ever changes
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 20:09:56 2002 (#2412)

I'm glad you liked my poem, if I didnt post them here then I would never no if any of them were half decent, so its a gallery as well as a disscussion board! lol!
Ella x

Re: nothing ever changes
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:31:01 2002 (#2420)

that was great sweetie. You know how much talent I think you have!! keep posting them. love always x x x

Re: nothing ever changes
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 08:23:41 2002 (#2455)

I liked it, I'm glad you share them with us. Keep posting them, okay? Jade

Finally!
Posted by Amanda on Sun Apr 28 16:12:21 2002 (#2393)

I recently came upon this web-site while doing my usual surfing on anything and everything, everything this time being self injury. When I came upon this site I thought I might cry because of all the other people out there who are just like me, I finally found a way to connect with others. I've been alone so long with noone to talk to about my problems noone to understand and finally after 11yrs. of this(s.i.)I see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.

Re: Finally!
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 18:44:11 2002 (#2402)

Hi there...ah...your message made me all warm and fuzzy, haha..
no but really Im really glad you found this place.

I dont remember my exact reaction when I first found www.ratatosk.net/psyke< /a> (old board connected with this)

but I know I posted like 10 posts every week or more!
I just had so much to say and I really got alot out!
feel free to talk anytime, about anything.
welcome
love
KAT

Re: Finally!
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 19:44:38 2002 (#2405)

Hey welcome aboard and i hope i can help as much as i can take care xxErryn

Re: Finally!
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:33:10 2002 (#2422)

hey. I'm glad your here! Post as much as you like, I hope I can be of some help, and feel free to mail me if you ever wanna talk. loadsa love, elle x x x

Re: Finally!
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 19:46:37 2002 (#2407)

Hiya hun
Im glad you found us . I can remember when i found the old bord i dunno what i was thinking . I was probably high,Well n e way HELLO if you ever want to e mail me feel free to i have just figured out how to use the computer WHOOO.
Lots of love n hugz n more hugz
She

Re: Finally!
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 19:58:06 2002 (#2410)

Hi
Yeah, I know that feeling. I feel so alone for so much of my life; this site is my light at the end of a tunnel. Welcome though, it's great being able to talk to people, who know what you're going through, and have no prejudice. If you ever want to talk then please email me. Welcome!
Ella x

Re: Finally!
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 08:32:16 2002 (#2456)

Hey, Welcome and I hope that the board helps you out. If there's anything that I can do or you just want to talk or anything feel free to email me and post whenever you like. Take care, Jade

I apologize
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sun Apr 28 17:53:45 2002 (#2397)

I am so sorry to everyone I offended with my "pal" comment. I wasn't saying it as a joke I just thought it was ironic. Sorry again.

Re: I apologize
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 18:44:57 2002 (#2403)

hey...I, for one, don't think you need to apologize to anyone, but Nice gesture.

:)
KAT

Re: I apologize
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 19:22:22 2002 (#2404)

There's no need to be apoligising! I thought it was ironic too.
Ella x

Re: I apologize
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 19:45:50 2002 (#2406)

no need in sorrys i thought it was kinda funny!!!! or i mean ironic!!!! take care xxxxErryn

Re: I apologize
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:34:43 2002 (#2423)

It was ironic!!! You have nothing to apologise about and you certainly didn't offend me. Made me smile for the first time today actually! :-)

Re: I apologize
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 08:41:34 2002 (#2457)

Sweet of you to apologize, but you have no reason to. I personally wasn't offended by it, and judgeing by the response to the initial post, all the people defending your post later when someone suggested that it wasn't a necessary post, and all the responses to your apology, no one else seems to mind it much either. I actually thought that it was kinda cute. thanks for posting it, it made me smile too. Jade

the world I live in
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 28 19:59:56 2002 (#2411)

Today I awoke/ Everything was red/ Seas of jaded faces/ I found that hope was dead// Bloody tears are falling/ Each holding so much pain/ Claret scars across the sky/ Then falling down in rain// Hearts are all so hollow/ Shadows under eyes/ I was trapped in all this mess/ By an ugly wall of lies// Time to fake a smile/ Try not to let it show/ I feel so very sad/ This is the world I've come to know.

Re: the world I live in
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:35:28 2002 (#2424)

that's beautiful. love you loads sweetheart. x x

Re: the world I live in
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 22:46:52 2002 (#2428)

Thats amazing sweetie.
Loads a love
SHE

Re: the world I live in
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 23:04:35 2002 (#2436)

that was great keep writing and take care xxxErryn

Re: the world I live in
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 09:10:54 2002 (#2459)

wow, that was REALLY good, is there any where that I can find any other of your poems, like a webpage, or could you email me some old ones that I missed. You're really talented. I really like that style of poetry. keep writing, Jade

Please help me
Posted by Millie on Sun Apr 28 22:31:13 2002 (#2421)

Hi people.

i have been having suicidal thoughts for a very long time and i am very young. i always take my parents pill bottle out of the cupboard and hold it against me, it feels good even though i never take any. i will though, i no it. I hurt myself all the time because i know that there is no one there who cares and this time i want to go further

Millie x

Re: Please help me
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 22:38:52 2002 (#2425)

hey millie. I spoke to you the other night didn't I? I remember. I've been in the same position as you loads of times and I have been further and know people who have. It doesn't help sweetheart, believe me. If the overdose doesn't work and you go to hospital you have to have a stomach pump (which is far from pleasant) and there can be lots of side effects like liver and kidney damage. In the long run it causes you a lot more pain. I hope you're ok honey. write back if you wanna chat. love elle x x x

Re: Please help me
Posted by Millie on Sun Apr 28 22:46:09 2002 (#2427)

but it just seems so easy :(. may i ask how old are you?

Re: Please help me
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 22:52:29 2002 (#2430)

HIya sweetie
Its unbelivabley hard to be honest with you .I took god knows how many pills and i ended up in hospital for a long time wich was crappy and to make things worse i had to have my stomach pumped twice which is the worse feeling in the world ,its ucky.

You have to think of the peeps your gonna be leaving behind to i know sometimes its hard to but you shold.
If you are really young it might be you have a chance to cange you future sweetie.Try to smile yeah:o)
Loads of love n hugzzzzzzzzz.
SHe

Re: Please help me
Posted by Millie on Mon Apr 29 20:07:15 2002 (#2489)

thanx everyone, ur all so nice!
Millie x

Re: Please help me
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 23:06:47 2002 (#2437)

I'm 17. How old are you hun?

Re: Please help me
Posted by Millie on Mon Apr 29 20:05:47 2002 (#2488)

im 13

Re: Please help me
Posted by Eleanor on Mon Apr 29 20:08:26 2002 (#2490)

honey you have so much of your life in front of you. I know it's hard at the moment but I'd hate to think of you throwing it all away. If you ever need to talk PLEASE email me, I'd love to help. take care sweetheart, love elle x x

Re: Please help me
Posted by louise on Sun Apr 28 22:58:05 2002 (#2431)

hello. you dont know me but well i thought i would respond to your post. this is my first time here today. i have thought about suicide aswell and i have lost a number of friends and relatives through suicide. i know it may feel so tempting to end it all because you may go some place where you can be happy (i dont know that but i would like to think so)but then you would have to look back on those you have left behind.

i hope you dont do it because you are precious, life is precious and giving up isnt worth it. stay strong x

Re: Please help me
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 23:03:07 2002 (#2434)

hey girl, just please relax and breathe a little and know that we are all here for you. i take showers or go for walks when i feel this way. maybe you can try? take care Erryn

Re: Please help me
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 23:26:25 2002 (#2443)

Hi Hunny...
you say no one cares, and I am not doubting you, but someone must care a little if you are still on this Earth.
I care...ya hard to believe since I dont know you personally, but I really do care. I promise

Please think about the future, and take into consideration your own well being.
Love yourself, I know it's hard...but it's been said before
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

take care
love KAT

Re: Please help me
Posted by ¸.·*¨°·.¸ CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs ¸¸.·*¨°·.¸ on Mon Apr 29 02:59:47 2002 (#2449)

ok either do it or shut the fuck up

Re: Please help me
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 09:16:35 2002 (#2460)

Millie, just how young are you? sounds like you have a lot left to do in your life. You have a lot of future a head of you and a lot of time to heal if you let yourself. I hope that you can give yourself the time that you need to feel better. Come back and post some more if you need to and I'll support you the best I can. take care, Jade

Re: Please help me
Posted by Maggie on Mon Apr 29 13:41:28 2002 (#2466)

Actually Crimson, I think you should shut the fuck up.

crimson tears
Posted by Eleanor on Mon Apr 29 17:40:06 2002 (#2473)

I agree with maggie. what you said was totally uncalled for and verbal abuse is what people come here to get away from, they don't need that. I have been tolerant of your outbursts in the past but this is getting ridiculous

Re: crimson tears
Posted by Millie on Mon Apr 29 20:12:24 2002 (#2492)

i get loads of verbal abuse, i dont care any more let the crimson tears person say it... maybe she/he is having a bad time.

hello everyone
Posted by louise on Sun Apr 28 22:50:30 2002 (#2429)

hello everyone. im new here so i feel it only right i give an introduction.

im 21 years old living in england and have three children and am married happily. that may come as a shock to a few but i am used to that.

my father died of cancer when i was 11 and it knocked me back greatly. i turned to cutting and have been ever since. i fell pregnant to this no hope lad who then ditched me all at the age of 13. i had a baby boy named jack at 14. he is now 7 years old and i love him so much. his father remains only in contact through maintenance. he refuses to have anything to do with jack. at 15 i met and fell in love with adam who is now my husband. we married at 19 and he loves jack very much. i intentionally fell pregnant at 19 and have given birth to twin girls hannah and katie who are beautifull. they are 11 months old and are wonderfull!

having said all of this i suppose you are wondering why i am here? well i have had a very hard life. i miss my father terribly and my mother disowned me when i fell pregnant first time round. she is around now but i have not forgiven her however hard she is trying at the moment. i seem happy on the outsde but i am dying on the inside. i love my children so much but it is so hard coping. it is so hard to find decent work aswell. as soon as they find out you have a 7 year old son and baby twins at 21 prejudice kicks in. i work at a checkout in morrisons part time. adam is the same. we juggle our shifts around the kids. he trys so hard bless him. life is very tough and we never have any money but we have each other and we are a happy family. i have just been plagued with a life of torment in my youth.

anyhow....i hope i havent said too much there to scare any one away. i know i have gone on a little but having read a few posts i thought that i too would be open and honest with everyone as they are. you are all very open about your feelings. i think this is a great place xxx

Re: hello everyone
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 28 22:59:39 2002 (#2432)

hey welcome to the board, i hope we can help you in alot of ways just write, oh my name is Erryn im from ohio and im 26 and a single mother of two just write if you need anything take care xxxErryn

Re: hello everyone
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 23:00:13 2002 (#2433)

Hello
Its really nice to see some new people on here.Well hiya i hope you like it here .If you ever want to talk please feel free to e mail me.
Lots of love n hugz n more hugz
She
Ps give your kids a hug from me they sound great

Re: hello everyone
Posted by louise on Sun Apr 28 23:04:17 2002 (#2435)

(laughing) oh believe me they are far from great!! they scream and shout!! no honestly they are lovely. thankyou for responding. i hope that i can be of help to you too. this is a wonderfull place for people to recieve the help and support they need. ive been reading messages all day but ive just posted now. i wasnt going to at first because you all seem so close, i felt as thouhg i would be intruding but well here i am. hope you are well xx

Re: hello everyone
Posted by Eleanor on Sun Apr 28 23:12:12 2002 (#2438)

hi! Of course you're not intruding!! we're all glad that you're here! I'm 17 from england. You can mail me anytime you want, I'd love to talk to you. elle x x x

Re: hello everyone
Posted by She on Sun Apr 28 23:21:38 2002 (#2439)

god no your not introuding .Its lovley to have new people here kinda exiting.Kids huh lol i bet there great though.
She
Ohh im 17 f from Cardiff

Re: hello everyone
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 23:24:25 2002 (#2441)

Hello there!
welcome here, I know this board can't solve your money problems and juggling a job with 3 kids, but I hope you can find some emotional support here.

Take care
-KAT

Re: hello everyone
Posted by liverpoolfc on Mon Apr 29 01:55:29 2002 (#2447)

Hi. You've come to the right place to just chat about whatever you want. We can't always give the best advice but we can understand alot of what your going through. e-mail me whenever you want

Re: hello everyone
Posted by Rhonda on Tue Apr 30 03:24:26 2002 (#2517)

Hi Louise,
Welcome to the board. I'm the mother of 2 girls,
one who is, or was, a cutter. It may happen again
on down the line, but if it does, it does. I came
here mainly as a show of support for Tara, my
daughter. Somehow, I now show up every few days
to give all "my kids" support and to show them that there are some adults who care what happens
to them. 3 kids at 21 years old!!!!!! Boy are you
a hero of mine. Tara is almost 19 and my youngest
will turn 17 next month. She has to deal with
having seizures, so I have other things I work
with also. Please feel free to email me anytime
you want too. Take care of yourself.
Love, RHonda

My brother :(
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 23:22:32 2002 (#2440)

I'm so scared!!

I am just recovering from my depression and cutting and all tht bullshit. I started cutting when I was 15 years old, thats also when my manic depression came out and showed its ugly face.
I am 17 years old now..my brother recently turned 15.

He is really sad, doesnt want to do anything, he's sitting in his room everyday just lying in bed with the covers over his head.
I ask him to go places, and he just kinda mumbles something..
Im scared he's going to follow in my footsteps, especially since depression is a chemical thing in my family.
I really need some advice, I never realized how much I hurt other people, but now seeing my dearest brother, my best friend, go through this is killing me inside.
what should I do?

-KAT

*Note: there are some really tough messages on this board that I read and it hurts me so much when I read them I just can't reply, I really don't know what to say.
ex: some recent posts that hit close to home.
So I understand if no one knows how to respond..thanks.

Re: My brother :(
Posted by Erryn on Mon Apr 29 00:50:56 2002 (#2446)

have you tried to talk to him one on one and tell him all the stuggles you went through? maybe he can get help before it gets out of control. its hard to stop once you start. keep me posted take care xxxErryn

Re: My brother :(
Posted by Jade on Mon Apr 29 08:49:46 2002 (#2458)

I don't know... what all does he know about your cutting and what you've done? Try talking to him about what's going on and watching for signs of SI or worsening depression. Make sure that he knows that you understand and that you care, there isn't much more that you can do until you know whatis going on. Keep us informed. Good Luck Jade

Re: My brother :(
Posted by Eleanor on Mon Apr 29 17:44:48 2002 (#2474)

Hey Kat. I'm actually going through the same problem with my little brother at the moment. My mum is depressed and so am I and now it seems that Richard is going to have to go through the same thing. He knows about my cutting and things and it would kill me to see hime doing the same thing. The only advice that I can give you is to keep trying to get through to him. It may seem like a losing battle, but I know that that is what my brother did for me and it got me through the worst times, even though I didn't appreciate it then. I only hope now that I will be able to do the same for him. Good luck sweetie, let me know how you get on. Love elle x x

Re: My brother :(
Posted by She on Mon Apr 29 18:08:35 2002 (#2481)

Hiya
God that must be pritty hard i think it was the other way round with me and my brother (Richard)cause he is older .
I think its lovley your encoureging him to go places you hould carry on doing that it shows you care loads .Maby if he see's you happy he could see ther was hope still but that isnt allways possible i guess.
((((((((hers a hug for you and your brother)))))
Loads a loven hugz
SHE~BERRY

Re: My brother :(
Posted by Rhonda on Tue Apr 30 03:31:54 2002 (#2518)

Don't give up on him KAT! Keep trying to talk to him. If you can get him some help, do it now before it gets worse. BUT<<< please don't feel
guilty if he doesn't listen to you right away.
That's all I can think of right now. Take care
sweetie and I'll include him in my prayers
tonight.
Love ya,Rhonda

painfully forgotten
Posted by cindy on Sun Apr 28 23:24:37 2002 (#2442)

I move house all the time and I hate it. I left all my friends of nine years about 2 years ago now and they've pretty much forgotten me now. and it hurts so much. it's funny how something as ghastly as cutting myself has managed to package itself within my mundane life: it's all routine and balance and yet completely not. I know that makes no sense but that's my life. an intrecately woven togetehr set of impertaives and timetables and deadlines and within that I schedule cutting. I just want to freefall so badly. just let go and watch it all tumble down. no repsonsibility just me and cutting. how pathetic is that? my body just aches so much and the thoght of tomorrow morning if killing me. take care everyone. xox

Re: painfully forgotten
Posted by KAT on Sun Apr 28 23:28:53 2002 (#2444)

Doesn't sound pathetic, sounds painful as hell!

I know..cutting got to my head so much I believed I loved it, and it loved me.
It's a mind trap..get yourself out if you get the chance. If not...please find a way..take care
-KAT

Re: painfully forgotten
Posted by Erryn on Mon Apr 29 00:48:31 2002 (#2445)

i to felt i loved cutting it was so normal to me and now im trying not to do it please just relax and find something else to take a shower or a walk and please dont do anything if you need anyone just write take care xxxErryn

Re: painfully forgotten
Posted by Eleanor on Mon Apr 29 17:47:19 2002 (#2475)

I know how it is to feel like that but at the moment I'm trying to beat it. Keep fighting hun. It may not seem worth the effort at the moment but hopefully things will get better and I would hate to think of you missing out on a good life, no matter how bad it may seem at the moment. x x

Re: painfully forgotten
Posted by She on Mon Apr 29 18:25:10 2002 (#2483)

IT makes sceance sweetie.
Loads a love
SHE~BERRY

urghhhhhhhhh
Posted by Erryn on Mon Apr 29 02:25:00 2002 (#2448)

Tommorrow morning i have to go back to work and see the woman who called the crisis line (who happens to be my boss) i feel like i have been punished for letting my true feelings be known am i wrong or did i tell the wrong person i just want to scream. im lonely becuz my kids are visiting their dad so if anyones out there please talk thanks xxErryn

Re: urghhhhhhhhh
Posted by ¸.·*¨°·.¸ CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs ¸¸.·*¨°·.¸ on Mon Apr 29 03:04:08 2002 (#2450)

dont feel lonely cause your kids are seeing their dad, they still love you as a mother and want you to be there for them...
you'll be fine
Love Roses and Empathy
CrïM§øÑ*TëÅrs

Re: urghhhhhhhhh
Posted by KAT on Mon Apr 29 03:37:33 2002 (#2453)

I guess this woman thought that's the best she could do to help you out, but in reality it just made things more complicated.
Thats the thing with telling people , you never know how they are going to re-act.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonly..Like Crimson said Im sure your kids love you more then anything, so don't worry..

Good luck
-KAT

Re: urghhhhhhhhh
Posted by Eleanor on Mon Apr 29 17:49:14 2002 (#2476)

I'm so sorry you feel bad! Your kids love you sweetie, just remember that. I hope things went ok at work? Let me know how you got on. Love always, elle x x x x

Re: urghhhhhhhhh
Posted by She on Mon Apr 29 18:26:52 2002 (#2484)

GOOD LUCK !!!!!
Your Kids must love you ton pices so do we hope it all gose ok .
Love n hugzzz
SHE

Re: urghhhhhhhhh
Posted by Rhonda on Tue Apr 30 03:35:53 2002 (#2519)

I don't know the whole story, but maybe she called
them because she cares about and was worried about you. As far as your kids go, I don't see how
anyone can consider you an unfit mother. As long
as your cutting doesn't affect them and you take
good care of them,I don't see it as a problem. You
will probably have to explain all of this when they get older, but not until they can understand
it. Just keep doing the good job you are with them
and you'll be fine. Write me if you ever want to
talk. Take care of yourself also.
Love, RHonda

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/archive/psyke/023

© 2002 Ratatosk - Page generated by Yggdrasil, Fri Oct 4 2002 (20:00:40)
All stories, poems and comments on this site are owned by their respective authors.