Untitled

Copyright Katie

And I tell myself it's helping,
And I tell myself I'm doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing,
But everyday someone new asks,
And everyday they say can I see?
I smile and just laugh it all off,
But then I cough,
And I choke on my tears,
The angels above are trying to shine,
I know I keep them on a tight line,
Time rolls on by,
All I can do is sigh,
And I shrug it off,
I shrug it off,
I always shrug it off,
And I tell myself it's helping,
And I tell myself I 'm doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing,
I hide in my cold hands,
They hold together like lonely bands,
My only friends,
I don't want this brought to the end,
All of their tears,
Always screaming-they hurt my ears,
My heart is untouched and bare,
All I ever see is one long lifeless stare,
And I try so hard not to end it,
And I sometimes try to hold on-even if it is a little bit,
All I am is fear,
And I am always here,
I never go away,
But I don't ever stay,
So if I seem lost,
Just give me a tear and a toss,
I'll fall and my skin will bleed,
But that is all that I ever seem to need,
A drop of red,
Always helps clear up my head,
You don't realize-you don't know,
You'd never understand if I told you though,
So sometimes I wonder why I even try,
It's not enough to just cry,
I need something much deeper,
And I think this one is a definite keeper,
And I tell myself it's helping,
And I tell myself I'm doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing,
Time has come-and it has gone,
And this has been way too long,
I think maybe it' time to wave good-bye,
But before I go-I'll give it one more try,
Oh hell-forget that,
One last final sigh,
The end is near,
Can you feel it too my dear?
And I tell myself it's helping,
And I tell myself I'm doing the right thing,
And I tell myself not to open up,
Not to tell the real thing.