My Road to Happiness

Anonymous

Deeper and deeper
the cuts do grow
Faster and faster
the blood does flow.

Oh what a bitch,
that one'll need a stitch.
How will I explain all of this?
Have I fallen too far into the abyss?

The blood is still dripping,
a puddle has formed.
I need to get out
or I'll surely be stormed.

I paint my chest crimson
with a bloody red rag.
I beat myself blue
with a belt and a nag.

My knuckles are bruised
from punching the walls
but then, with a knife
in my hand, someone calls.

But that murmur is only
a voice in my head
telling me stop
or soon you'll be dead.

And then a soft whimper,
a tear down my cheek
My face is all wet
from the water I leak.

Then soft, sweet serenity
I feel in my bones
A feeling of happiness,
then start the moans.

I could end it now
but the blood would stop bleeding
And then who would take over
when my joyfulness needs feeding?

So for now I just sit
and relish this feeling
with a smile on my face
and my eyes on the ceiling.

Tomorrow I might
finish the deed
but for the time being,
I sit here and bleed.