Shaniece

Copyright, Shaniece

I started getting depressed back in my freshman year of high school. It took its tole the beginning of this year. In January, I was sooo depressed, I thought I was going insane. I didn't know what to do. I tried to talk to my mama, but she only yelled at me. That was the first time I cut. It was with a razor. It was dull, so I cut many times til blood started to surface. It really didn't hurt, for the simple fact that I felt numb inside.

It was really weird because, I was new to the whole 'cutting' thing and I am black. Only white ppl get depressed and cut on them selves. Right? Boy was I sooo wrong. Depression doesn't exclude race. No matter what race you are, it attacks with the same amount of torture as it does everybody else. I cut just yesterday. I only cut when I feel numb. When I think about all the bad things, thinking they will neva get better.

I don't see a therapist, I know I should. We don't have enough money for me to keep seeing one. I have to make do with what I got. Things are getting worse for me since school starts next week. That is the main reason I am depressed. I hope I can make it through the rest of the year.