PSYKE Self Injury Personal Stories Stupid Girl

Stupid Girl

Copyright Kat

Summary
Kat tells about the first time she cut, and how her cutting has since escalated.

The first time I cut. My history teacher had called my parents about something I did. Something I did that was wrong, like always. Since she is an adult and I'm only a dumb kid, my parents took her side. I had always been depressed. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I saw a broken candleholder on my desk. I cut my arm a couple times. I loved it.

The next day, the teacher saw it. I told her it was my cat that did it. That's my favourite excuse. But now people would never believe that.

Now i cut deeper. I escalated to using razorblades. I don't even clean them. I don't care. I cut so deep that i need stitches.

I go to a day treatment program. Things are going good. But when I go back to school, it will all go to hell. A couple weeks ago I was hospitalised. I hated it there and I was determined never to cut again. I haven't cut for 11 days. A very long time for me... But i don't think i will make it.